ALL SAINTS POSEIDON DRESS!!!

[bobbiewickham]

Anyone got it?

Was delivered today - and I haven't got a clue how to put it on!

It makes no sense whatsoever, whichever way I try to wear it.

And I can't return it because I had to wash it before I'd even tried it on because my stupid dog weed on it.

Disaster.

Help!

So funny.

Next time I see someone in All Saints dress I will know she is a genius and will walk up and say "You look really, really brainy in that."

(Does look like a gorgeous dress. What a pain. Maybe you're supposed to have servants or something.)

yes ,say it came to you shrunken, slightly damp, all twisted and smelling of pee .

like when Ross returns that sofa in Friends

'It's cut in half'

in the picture the armholes look like they ahve little button epaulette things - can you locate those bits?

I don't think I have the mental agility for this

Either give All Saints a call and ask for instructions (and be prepared for a lot of laughter) or send it back - who needs a dress that takes an entire evening to figure out how not to put it on???

I'm going to Lakeside tomorrow night and would be happy to see if they have the dress in the All Saints shop there. If it's on a hanger I might be able to glean some clue as to how you're meant to wear it. I might even be able to take some photos for you

The first set of armholes has epaulette things.

The second set doesn't.

It's fucking exhausting - I'd never be able to wear it out, I'd need four hours sleep after getting it on.

LOL cyb.

I would definitely take it into a store, no qualms at all, but we don't have one nearby.

I don't think All Saints do refunds, only credit notes (speaks from experience).

Aw thanks, squashedfrogs, I might hang on a day or two then.

Imagine the sense of achievement if I did manage to wear it out.

I'd feel like I'd graduated.

I'd ask for help on how to put it on from them - god they must get asked all the time looking at their stuff.

But they're funny about returns generally and I would think it would clearly smell of ariel or whatever you washed it in as opposed to new clothes.

I think if you bought it online you have more refund rights dont you? I would send the bloomin thing back

i think that's it bobbie, the epaulette ones are where your arms go. the others are for amputated tentacles or something. meanwhile armholes gape to waist and show all that unfortunate bit around armpit / bra.

Oh dear, what to do? What to do?

I think you may be right, fishie.

I'm going to kill that blardy dog.

And bury it in an All Saints shroud.

The trauma, though, bobbiwickham, the trauma.

You'd go out in it ... smug ... extremely smug (quite rightly - it's a non-verbal reasoning paper constructed in fabric ... and someone would say "Ooh. Nice dress."

And you'd say "Nice? ..." and then you'd be explaining what it took to get it there, on you, until you noticed their eyes were glazed and their face was wearing a slightly worried look.

An item has to 'fit for purpose' dosnt it. if you cant get the blinkin thing on its not fit for purpose

You do indeed cyb.

However if you return it saying its unworn and its clearly been washed you've probably invalidated your rights or something. Especially if its dry clean only.

Many years ago when I worked in a shop (next) who actually refunded anything - we were told to surreptitiously sniff all returns to make sure they hadn't been washed - washing powder is quite a disntinctive odour compared to new clothes smell.

So - I'd email them and ask for help - am sure it will look good once you've figured it out.

That was to wearing it out .. not burying dog in multiply screen-printed shroud.

Which might afford small (though temporary) satisfaction.

True, animula.

On the upside, I need never tell my emergency c-section story ever again...

and they'd wonder why they got so many hits from mn last night and would trace it to this thread

God, yes.

I'm stuck with it, aren't I?

Arse.

I tried on the top version in the middle of the shop (had dd with me so no chance of getting into and out of a changing room, and a fairly decent vest top, so no risk of exposure) and the nearest staff member came up rather sniffily and said "You've got that on completely wrong".

As I recall, you basically ignore the whole top lot of fabric with the little armholes - that part is literally just a massive decoration that you kind of pull forward as a big drapey collar kind of affair. It's like the world's biggest funnel neck top - just ignore the holes in the top section (anything above the label basically!). Sounds like you've got the right idea and it just doesn't look that great in real life.

Bunch of Vivienne Westwood ripoffs, the lot of it!

It is hard to see from the picture because of the pattern.
There seems to be a hemmed bit which falls around the neck and makes lapels and the front apron type bit. Is that hemmed edge obvious on your dress?

Pretty dress, shame about the logistics.

It just doesn't drape well.

Bugger.

id quite like that would hide fat stomach

bet the 14 would only fit a small 12

Thanks, JumpJockey - I feared that might be the case.

I might take it to be remodelled then. Anything's better than having the best part of two hundred nicker hanging redundant in the wardrobe.