Am I the only one who thinks that black women and straight hair generally don't go well together?

[MrsThierryHenry]

Yes, it's Friday afternoon idle timewasting chat time!

When I see a black woman (or man, for that matter) with straight hair, I just can't help thinking that 99% of the time some lovely curls would suit them SO much better. Compare this to this.

Now, okay, perhaps Beyonce's not the best example here, as she would look amazing even with no hair at all (the cow! ) but on the whole IMO black skin and straight hair is not a happy pudding.

Anyone else?

[slim22]

am not grumpy, i just woke up to another beautiful sunny day in Asia.
Thank you for your lovely comment about being "mental" and "paranoid". What a pleasant human being you seem to be.

I would have found the post light hearted and funny if the OP had not specifically started the thread by specifically taking the piss at black women.
Had it started simply as a thread about bad hair days no offense at all.

[suzywong]

has this thing kicked off yet?

[QuintessentialShadows]

Slim, maybe the OP was especially singling out black women because she is black herself and were particularly concerned with the lack of style and beauty in this particular hairstyle, ie bad and cheap extensions or straightening, that some black women opt for?

It is similar to me saying:
Why do so many white women spend their holidays in the sun getting their skin all red and puffy just in order to tan? (I am as white as can be, I am almost blue in hue)

Suzywong, this did not kick off until now, I tink most realized that the op did not have a racist undertone, but a style conscious one.

[slim22]

I read the thread. As I said, could have bee funny had it not been for the nasty title,

it's just one of those titles that jumps at you in active convos. Could not help pointing out that is of bad taste.

[QuintessentialShadows]

There is generally many titles that I find ill advised, on a weekly basis, and I do understand what it is like when I title I find tasteless keeps jumping at me in active convos. We all take offense to so many different things, we are all so different.

Whereabouts are you Slim? My dh commutes between here and India.

[suzywong]

QS, chill. I just say that to get attention.

[Dragonbutter]

I can see the point MrsTH has been trying to make with this thread but think it is wrong to presume that anyone who was offended by the title was white/assuming the OP to be white also. The thread title is deliberatly provocative.

So is the point, that it's not ok for a white woman to comment on black hairstyles and the PC police will inevitably pounce, but ok for a black woman to comment?
Then shouldn't that have been the thread title?
...because i think we've all agreed that plenty of black women suit their straightened hair.

[slim22]

QS I'm in singapore, so not as interesting as India.

[TheMagnificent7]

Er...please stop. This was a nice easy post. A little mischievious perhaps, but not i any way offensive. Slim, you've just got the wrong end of the stick. Probably better to stop digging a deeper hole. You've said you get it, so you get that a black woman made a comment about black women with bad hairdo's. It's not racist, bad taste, or even that contentious. It's just people like you, and Dragonbatter is heading the same way, that are turning this into a nasty post about racism, rather than the informative one that highlighted prejudices from ill informed people like you. Drop it, you're wrong, and your misunderstanding is what is causing conflict, not a fucking wig

Dragonbatter. There doesn't have to be racist overtones in everything that concerns race. You need to stop fighting. I don't care what colour you are, it's irrelevent. Stop trying to make something out of nothing.

Now. Who's for a nice Mullet ?

[TheMagnificent7]

And Dragonbatter, if you think using the phrase 'black women' in a title is deliberately provocative you need to go back to equality and diveristy school. You're allowed to say Black Women without being cleft in twain. It's a description, not an insult, and regardless of your colour, you shouldn't be afraid to describe anyone accurately. I think you may find that Black Women are OK with being called Black Women, not ashamed as you seem to be.

For goodness sake. Get a grip PC World

[Dragonbutter]

Oh dear, Mag7.
It wasn't the term black woman that i found provocative. Don't be silly.

And for me this conversation was not about race but that one poster should decide who suits what hairstyle based on the colour of their skin.

For me this is about choice of style.

Why are you pigeonholing me as overly PC. I just think that Black women also suit their hair straight. That's all. Why does that make me wrong?

[TheMagnificent7]

"So is the point, that it's not ok for a white woman to comment on black hairstyles and the PC police will inevitably pounce, but ok for a black woman to comment?
Then shouldn't that have been the thread title?
...because i think we've all agreed that plenty of black women suit their straightened hair"

You missed the point entirely. And you said that quote above. I feel that you are backtracking rather than explaining now because i've mentioned the dreaded 'B' word. Black. Black. Black. Black. Some of you are like the Monty Python scene with the bloke shouting Jehovah..."Are there any women here today?". This post is now dead. It is an ex-post. It has ceased to be. It has shuffled off this mortal coil. Now...altogether..."I never wanted to be a Mumsnetter! I wanted to be..."

Don't worry MrsTH. I got it, and loved it

[Dragonbutter]

I'm asking you to explain what point has been made.
I want to know what you feel has been proven by this thread.

[stitch]

the op is being unreasonable.
skin colour does not dictate hari style or shape.
sometimes it dictates hair colour. so for example only very confident black women have blonde hair. but, it is all a matter of personal choice. fashion etc.

[daftpunk]

TM7....are you new? you make me lol...

[TheMagnificent7]

Not new. I'm 40!

[LyraSilvertongue]

I'm not sure any point has been proved by this thread, or that there was any intention to prove a point. It's just a discussion about hair.

[MrsThierryHenry]

Hear, hear, Lyra!

God, just talking about hair can cause SO many problems, can't it? Almost as many problems as the hair itself...

[MrsThierryHenry]

Just noticed this on the bbc website (it's available to view for about 3 more weeks): hair programme.

How brilliantly coincidental! Only seen a bit of it but it looks interesting so far.

[MrsThierryHenry]

Right, I've just caught up on all the posts since last night.

Slim22, since you're the latest person to take extreme offence to what I've written, I'll address you first.

You say you live in Asia? So I presume I am right in thinking that you don't see black women all that often? So most likely the black women you do see are going to be celebrities, who, as we've established, have access to pots of cash for uber-expensive hairdos if they want it? In other words, not your average Jane Bloggs who (believe me, I see lots of them every day) settle for hair-breaking chemical straightening, or a cheap, crap-looking weave rather than enhancing what they've already got.

I do appreciate that it's important to you to challenge racism wherever you encounter it, and I wholeheartedly applaud that. However, as Mag7 said, in your eagerness to be colour blind, you appear to have developed an alternative blindness which leads you to perceive comments about colour/ 'race' either as non-racist (because you understand and agree with them) or racist (because you disagree with them, regardless of your level of understanding). In this instance, the problem is that your sensitivity to issues of colour has made you deeply misunderstand the conversation. Let me demonstrate. What is your response to the following statements:

Most obese people don't suit tight lycra outfits.

Most white people don't suit dreadlocks.

Most women with chubby knees don't suit mini skirts.

Most Asian people don't suit the 'Asian eye surgery' look.

Most elderly people don't suit clothing designed for teens.

I will make an assumption here, that perhaps you feel a tinge of discomfort at the 'white people' statement, but that on the whole you don't find any of the above statements as offensive as you found my statement that 'most black people don't suit straight hair'. It's quite possible that you may even see my 'Asian eye surgery' statement as being pro-Asian ethnicity. Why should my black people statement not be viewed in the same light?

Do you (or Dragonbutter) find any of the above statements to be 'deliberately provocative', or ageist/ fattist/ racist? Most likely not. Please be honest here, otherwise there's no point in us having this dialogue.

So your misunderstanding comes with honourable intentions, but you appear to also be unwilling to concede that you may have been wrong. Where does that leave us?

[BigGitDad]

I'd like to join in this conversation but being nearly bald and white I feel I would have little to offer tis discussion in the way of practical advice..
TM7, I loved your posts and found them very informative, good stuff. Mrs TH, I did not get it at first but after TM7 explained the post it made me laugh. Will change my naame to BigThickDad now.

[MrsThierryHenry]

Mag7, I think you're right about the 'business snobbery' thing. Though clearly, the quoted editor's 'political' comment demonstrates that for some people black hair is a political issue as well as an issue of style. It's desperately sad that for this woman, who is paid to stay ahead of the latest fashions and social movements, is so clearly against a political viewpoint which is not only about liberation but also fantastically funky hair.

As for your statement that the USA is streets ahead in the social cohesion stakes, I'm not convinced. I've not spent more than two weeks there but if what we read is to be believed it's incredibly backward when it comes to cohesion and integration. You only have to look at who was worst affected by Hurricane Katrina - almost a carbon copy of when Louisiana was flooded in the 1920s. Things have moved on there, but there's still a heck of a lot of work to be done.

Can I also expand your comments on immigration in the UK to remind everyone that immigration here began 2000 years ago when the Romans invaded. From then until now people have been arriving from all over the world and making the UK their home.

I also agree with you that the angry posters on this conversation assumed that I was white. I think they're being disingenuous when they say that they didn't.

And - I don't think you're a cock

[MrsThierryHenry]

Hey BigGitDad, nearly bald and white, huh? You're not my husband on another computer, are you?!

Welcome!

Also well done to thumbwitch and BGD (not thick at all) for taking the time to think before posting!

Awww...what would MN be without a bit of controversy, whether genuine or not?

[thumbwitch]

good thread, shame about the reactionaries!