Would rewearing a favourite dress as mother of the bride seem rude?

[krustykittens]

This is a totally hypothetical question as my daughter isn't getting married, but would it be deemed insulting to wear a dress you already own, and have owned for a number of years, as MOB?

I have an extensive wardrobe and one particular dress that I love and feel wonderful in. I have worn it for special events but no weddings, so my daughter has seen me in it. Herself and her boyfriend are talking about marriage, we have been looking at wedding gowns so I have looked at MOB outfits and honestly, I see nothing I like as much as this dress.

But also, I would prefer to put the money into buying her the dress of her dreams. It seems wasteful to buy another dress that will probably only be worn once and be very similar to the one I already have as that is my style.

Has anyone done this? Did your daughter get upset? I woud worry she would think that I couldn't be bothered or was dissaproving of the wedding, which would not be the case.

My mum wore something she already had and I was pleased as I liked it and it suited her 🙂

Totally fine

How on earth would it be rude?

Not rude at all. Also, i doubt anyone will be paying much attention to what you are wearing at someone else's wedding. I wouldn't worry about it.

I did. But then again I think the whole MoB outfit thing is a bit weird.

Oh, that is such a relief to read! Every wedding I have ever been involved with, including my own, the MOB has gone into a frenzy over their own outfit. I just wouldn't want my daughter to think I don't care, as I normally use any excuse for a new outfit!

@Sumoroll That is so nice to read! @AmandaHoldensLips I agree - you couldn't pay me to wear the whole suit and hat combo, it just isn't me. She knows this and winds me up by sending me the most hideous MOB outfits you can imagine and saying, "Wear this or you are not invited!" We have said we will pay for her gown and all the accessories and tbh, buying a new dress for me, simply to have something new when I have one already that is perfect, just seems like a waste of money.

Sounds fine to me. You could treat yourself to new accessories. Why reinvent the wheel?

When my DD got married, I wore a wrap dress from Monsoon with a smart wool dress coat from M & S.

My DD was thrilled that she got me out of jeans/leggings for the day.

Channel Princess Anne and go for it

@MilkBreadToiletroll That's what I am thinking!

@Spaniels4Eva I'm the opposite, I am a bit of a clothes horse and take any excuse to dress up. That's why I thought I would ask on here first because I wouldn't want her to think that choosing to wear a dress I already have means I am not excited or enthusiastic and I wouldn't even broach the subject with her if everyone had said this was insulting. I don't want to say or do anything to take away from her excitment or happiness on the day.

And if anyone is overthinking this, I totally am, because my own mother was an unmitigated nightmare over and at my own wedding 26 years ago. She caused months of fighting and stress because she cannot bear any event where she is not the centre of attention and I consiously try NOT to behave like her.

Just wear what you like it doesn’t matter if you already own it. My mum rewears things all the time. I think what she wore at one siblings she wore again at another siblings about two decades later. She’s got a dress ready for a wedding next spring that she wore at one fifteen years ago, wasn’t a family one so even if we remembered which we wouldn’t we haven’t seen her in it.

My mother had a lovely dress and jacket made for my wedding, and she has worn it to every wedding she has attended since, including my brother’s. But it it had been the other way around and my brother had gotten married first and she’d then worn that outfit to my wedding, I wouldn’t have minded at all!

Why not speak to her (when the time comes) 'hey DD I've had a good look around and can't see anything I love as much as my XXXX dress are you OK with my wearing that instead of buying something new?'

I did this summer for my son’s wedding. His wife loved it. I had worn it to the weddings of two of my son’s friends as well. If you feel good in it and it’s appropriate for the occasion, why not

@Runningupthecurtains I do intend to do this. If she gives me even a hint that she would prefer I bought new and made more of an effort, or if she doesn't think it is suitable, I will happily buy something. But I feel better about broaching the subject now that I have read the replies to this thread!

Not rude at all. I’d love to know the dress though!

I wouldn’t bat an eyelid, I’d hate for anyone to be out of pocket for me.

It's quite an old Reiss dress now, a v-necked bias cut maxi dress in kingfisher blue silk, with capped sleeves, and a corset panel in silk jersey for a bit of contrast. It looks art deco and I feel a million dollars in it but I rarely wear it as it is quite delicate. I have the same dress in black and my daughter actually has the skirt version of it in charcoal grey, which she wears for special events, so I know she likes it!

I'd be so happy with this. I know she'd be comfortable in it and didn't have the stress of finding another outfit.

I can't imagine caring, or even noticing, if my mother was wearing something she'd worn before, much less hint to them that I would prefer they bought new 'and made more of an effort'!

The dress sounds great. TBH the trend for having to buy something new for every event is pretty tacky. Look at the Princess Royal at Peter Phillips' wedding!

Princess Anne's Repeat Outfits - Princess Anne Rewearing Clothes

ask yourself whether you might be overcompensating in an attempt to be unlike your mother.

and discuss it with your daughter! yes it sounds as though there's a possibility she'll wonder why you're not buying a new outfit, but if you explain and ask what she thinks it will probably be a non-issue

@3wouldbegood I do agree! Vivienne Westwood herself said that people should buy what they love and where it to death, rather than than endlessly buying new.

@Mulledjuice I do overcompensate. I turn over everything I say and do with her in an attempt to be a good and supportive mother she wants to spend time with. We're quite a loud family who love to tease each other and if she asks me my opinion, I will give her an honest answer but my own mother never waited to be asked and always seemed to try and sabotage anything good in my life. For instance, she pulled me aside after meeting my now DH for the first time and felt she had to warn me that he was gay and was using me as a beard. Her evidence? He cut up some strawberries and ironed his own shirt. I'm not joking. She wouldn't let this go for months, badgering me to dump him. I will let you guess what she was like over my wedding. I try very, very hard to be her opposite.

I'm also an Irish Catholic and wedding clothes are a big deal in my family! My own MIL wore black to my wedding and Jaysus, was it noticed!

Ask your daughter.