Would rewearing a favourite dress as mother of the bride seem rude?

[krustykittens]

This is a totally hypothetical question as my daughter isn't getting married, but would it be deemed insulting to wear a dress you already own, and have owned for a number of years, as MOB?

I have an extensive wardrobe and one particular dress that I love and feel wonderful in. I have worn it for special events but no weddings, so my daughter has seen me in it. Herself and her boyfriend are talking about marriage, we have been looking at wedding gowns so I have looked at MOB outfits and honestly, I see nothing I like as much as this dress.

But also, I would prefer to put the money into buying her the dress of her dreams. It seems wasteful to buy another dress that will probably only be worn once and be very similar to the one I already have as that is my style.

Has anyone done this? Did your daughter get upset? I woud worry she would think that I couldn't be bothered or was dissaproving of the wedding, which would not be the case.

The brutal truth is no one is looking at what the MOB is wearing- so I don't see any problem with it.

I didn't ask because I was worried about what other people would think. Just my daughter.

Sounds absolutely gorgeous!! And sounds just right , you can be your DDs something blue!! You can always get new accessories to give it a boost.
My mum did buy a new dress for being MOB (but not a typical type!!) and she still wears it now, several years later. It's lovely and the connection to my wedding day is so nice to have. (She didn't have anything suitable, although she likes to dress up as well,!)

If your daughter would like you to also treat yourself to something new is there anything similar with reiss out at the moment?

also if you have the dress in blue and black could it be on vinted in a different colour? I’d look for that option first if it’s a dress I’m really happy in.

Why should the OP buy something new when she already has a dress she likes?

Anyone who thinks wearing a not new dress is rude is wrong so can be safely ignored.

Just about every man at the wedding will be wearing their one good suit so women should also enjoy the same convenience of being able to wear something they already own.

Your DD will want you to look lovely, and also appropriate. If this dress fits the bill, then wear it. You could get some new accessories, eg shoes, to keep it fresh.

My sister got married 8 months before I did. Mum bought a smart skirt suit and wore it to both weddings. She asked me if I minded. Which I didn't. I thought it odd she'd asked me tbh. My Dad wore the same suit too. My parents weren't really the smart dress people so it would not have been worn hardly ever after our weddings. I think buying your DD the dress of her dreams is a lovely thing to do.

How strange - why on earth would it be rude?
I've genuinely never understood this need to wear something different if you are at several weddings (with the same crowd) in a year or two.

If it's a lovely dress that suits you; wear it to your heart's content.

I don’t understand either. It would be like having a work wardrobe but you only ever wear a dress or a blouse once.

Everything I own gets worn hundreds of times in lots of different ways.

Attach a price label to the zip, then it will look like you've just bought it...

My mum wore the outfit she wore to my first wedding to the wedding of my new husband! 🤣. 15 years between them! I was a bit annoyed as didn’t really want memories from my first marriage.

🤣🤣🤣 that is funny. And definitely the sort of thing my mum would do.

If you still have the first wedding photos she’s going to look the same but a different groom.

in that scenario I would have got a new outfit.

I think you need only your daughter’s approval. It’s not rude, but it could come across as not making the effort.

@Mumofoneandone I didn't think of that! It would save her the effort of finding something blue! 😆

@Bjorkdidit Yes, men turn up in the same damn suit to everything and that's perfectly fine! They just swap out the tie, depending on the occassion. Annoying, isn't it?

@somanychristmaslights I am so sorry, I did laught at that! But I would have been upset too, that is very thoughtless.

@DoubleOFeckinBollocks that's exactly what I was worried about, that it would look as if I didn't care enough to buy something new (I assume you are Irish as well?). But now that I know it is not shockingly rude to even consider it, I can have the conversation. If everyone who replied had been horrified, I would have kept my mouth shut and just bought something. I normally wear head to foot black, or black and white when going out, so to have a dress in a colour that is suitable for a wedding is a major event for me in itself. Although I swear, if she turns into one of these brides that demands the bridal party colour coordinate and she chooses peach, I am going to turn up dressed like Maleficent, staff and all! I have the headress upstairs, a left over from Halloween! 😆

Have a chat with the bride.
If she's comfortable with it, then no problem.