What to wear for a theatre charity gala with no dress code

[HelpMeFeelGorgeous]

I’m off to a theatre-related charity gala which is likely to have numerous celebs in attendance. It’s a lunchtime champagne reception and buffet followed by the matinee theatre show.

I am 49, peri-menopausal and feeling frumpy. I have absolutely no idea what to wear and there hasn’t (yet) been any info shared about dress codes etc. I want to be prepared in case it’s smart (and don’t have anyone to ask about whether these things tend to be). I’m attending alone but might meet up with friends afterwards so don’t want to be all dolled up while they are in jeans and trainers.

i’m 5’ 9” and a top heavy uk16-18. I have had surgery which has left significant scarring on my legs so I would need a jumpsuit, trousers or maxi dress. I’m a bright cool winter in colouring.

I found this when searching: it’s possibly a little more formal than I would like though.

https://www.monsoon.co.uk/sienna-embellished-maxi-dress-blue-1001128287.html?utm_content=brand&nbt=nb%3Aadwords%3Ag%3A21426431457%3A198557365801%3A805447420077&nb_adtype=pla&nb_kwd=&nb_ti=pla-2692893077232&nb_mi=12198991&nb_pc=local&nb_pi=1001128287&nb_ppi=2692893077232&nb_placement=&nb_li_ms=&nb_lp_ms=&nb_fii=&nb_ap=&nb_mt=&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21426431457&gbraid=0AAAAADjtA_GralCbLrbeUfI-v5iWc3C-L&gclid=Cj0KCQjwt9jVBhDXARIsAFSP-6fFKs66z1BQ7roK3GBfHDKfRjPDB-2EsL44unhEYtDiCsWzijz-BXgaAk84EALw_wcB

There’s a navy version of it, or there’s a navy lace jumpsuit which might work?

https://www.monsoon.co.uk/monica-lace-wide-leg-jumpsuit-blue-20004710003.html

Or would smart black jeans and a nice top work? (I already have those!)

I have no intention of supporting Shein or their ilk, and the colours are all wrong anyway.

I wasn't suggesting you should. I was pointing that out to the poster who suggested Maison Noir to show how rubbish the site she had suggested is.

As it's daytime, and I assume UK not US,, the dress code that has not been articulated for this gala event will be daytime equivalent of black tie. So for men a plain dark suit, with theatrical flounces like a gaudy tie and puff pocket square, possibly themed cufflinks For women, no long gowns, decolletage, sequins or evening dress. I was thinking a knee-length dress or a trouser suit. If you are not one of the celebs, you don't need anything over the top and eye catching.

Some people will be coming straight from work in business dress, which to my eye will not include denim or chinos.

I love the colour of this I think that could be ideal

Not really in the spirit of S&B.

I've never even heard of the company. I was searching images that I thought might help, no more than that. I didn't check out their credentials or retail provenance.

I'll leave you to it.

OK that you didn't realise, @demantoid, but I think it's very important to catch links to scammy dropship sites. Many MNers have been conned by them, sometimes by following links in S&B.

It really is worth doing a quick check before posting a link! And a longer check if you're thinking of ordering, of course.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/style_and_beauty/5544308-spotting-scam-websites-before-buying

That's a shame! Have you looked at their other dresses? I think that with really sleek heeled knee-high boots some of these could look suitably smart but not OTT for a daytime event.

I like the Ba&sh one. Especially with the boots. Not necessarily that high though!

Men wearing suits with theatrical flounces like a gaudy tie and puff pocket square, possibly themed cufflinks ...???

What are themed cufflinks ...?

Agree. It's becoming so prevalent & is just a duplicitous way of selling tat under false pretences. There's enough tat out there anyway as it is!

The black Baukjen dress is nice, @EleanorMc67. Lovely neckline and sleeves.

At a somewhat lower price range, Nobody's Child would be my go-to choice for low-key dressy daywear. I didn't look there before, as they're a terrible fit for the well-endowed. I'm not, but my 'sturdy back' forces me to wrangle my modest norks into the bodices of my NC dresses!

Baukjen also looks designed for standard proportions.

However, this could work for OP's shape. The back tie means she'll be able to fit it to her waist, rather than having to choose between a squashed chest and a wall of fabric projecting from her torso. And it's long. Unsure about these colours, @HelpMeFeelGorgeous? It comes in plain black as well.

https://www.nobodyschild.com/products/ines-midaxi-dress-2617397001

Have a lovely time. Definitely no to jeans!

I think the outfit posted in the original op would be fine, and is lovely. However, here are a couple of suggestions.

https://www.johnlewis.com/jolie-moi-paisley-printed-maxi-dress-burgundy-multi/p115507385

https://www.johnlewis.com/maya-deluxe-stripe-embellished-sash-belt-maxi-dress/deep-mint/p112715718

https://www.johnlewis.com/phase-eight-betty-floral-printed-long-sleeve-maxi-dress-navy-multi/p115630923

www.johnlewis.com/scarlett-jo-isabelle-floral-angel-sleeve-maxi-dress/p113545427

Jolie Moi again - apparently Victoria Coren wore this on telly the other day (and it's still in stock)

https://joliemoi.co.uk/collections/all-dresses/products/three-quarter-sleeve-printed-lace-maxi-dress-green-floral

The OP was agreeing with you so why the prickly response.

Not really I'm the spirit of S&B?! It absolutely is. Posters don't want to fall for these scams where what is actually sent is poor quality and difficult to return.

The OP wasn't agreeing with me. The OP's response to me was prickly. It was scolding me as if I'd suggested Shein to her. Some of her responses to other posters have been prickly too.

I love it, but it’s completely the wrong shade of green. 😭

Sorry - I did read it as you saying the same dress was available direct from Shein so I should get it from there. It was late at night and I’m very fatigued from looking at dresses all day.

People have been very kind in sharing options but quite a lot ignore the info I gave about my colouring or body shape (or size in some cases). It’s quite overwhelming but I really do appreciate the help. It sounds like a cliche but I am not at all confident with these sorts of things so being told in the first few posts that I’m getting it all wrong has been quite tough.

Thank you. I really like the third one but fear that being bigger on the top will mean I am swamped on the bottom. I might order it and see. (Had similar with a Monsoon wedding dress many moons ago - I bought 2 sizes and asked a dressmaker to put the smaller bottom with the bigger top but she said it couldn’t be done.)

I do have to be really careful with colours. I think burgundy in all forms is out - I got the image of a duvet cover and pillow case in my head earlier when imagining one of them. I know it’s this seasons’ colour but one I definitely can’t do. I’ve ordered a few of those suggested, and a few others and will likely order a few more today. My flat will look like a branch of JL soon!

@HelpMeFeelGorgeous I do think you are worrying about your colouring too much though. No one else ever notices! You can alter your face with make up and getting the right shape of dress is far more important. Most people don’t slavishly adhere to a strict colour palette when something new is more exciting.

It’s on a Sunday lunchtime and there will be children present so I imagine it’s a little more dressed down even than that. I did say no dress code had been shared yet - I’m just trying to be prepared for it being a bit fancier than I am used to.

My skin is incredibly pale so pale blue and khaki greens make me look quite unwell. And I think I am realising that I am more comfortable with either a muted neutral or dark colour with a splash of something brighter than some of the options here. But I do appreciate the suggestions as some of the sites suggested have had other options I have ordered. :)

Pointing out scam sites is fine. Posters get caught out by them all the time. When I posted a pair of boots from one last year, other posters put me right in a friendly way. It's easy to do when you're searching images and you're just trying to help. Vigilance is important, but so is nurturing the generally friendly and cooperative spirit of S&B.

I agree with the poster who has understandably left the thread. It's really not in the spirit of S&B to be so narky and rude to someone who took a few minutes to try to help.

These threads are usually a nice retreat from the aggressive posting style on other parts of MN. That spirit depends on people explaining instead of attacking, and just maintaining a bit of friendly respect for each other.

@HelpMeFeelGorgeous I’m pale but I love baby blue. I see plenty of pale skinned blondes wearing it too. It’s just lovely with grey, taupe and browns. Not so keen with clarets - too much like Villa and West Ham. I’m quite keen on khaki too. The strong khakis can look great with a muted creamy/beige or a dark red. I’ve a couple of coats in khaki and I just wear black trousers and a jumper. A good scarf adds a bit of extra colour. I like khaki and pale lemon too. I’d just try on some very baby blues and you might be surprised.