Dressing with a bit of an 'edgy' look.

[Richtea67]

Hi, I need to re vamp my wardrobe for autumn/winter and need some advice on how to incorporate a bit of 'edgy chic'. I'm early 40's, 5ft 2, size 14/16 and hour glass shape with big boobs and a bit of a mum tum. I have dark hair and olive skin, so tend to suit darker/autumn colours. I need a couple of staple bits, and some clothes I can also wear for work ( casual dress code). I already have some chunky boots and a grey leather jacket. I went shopping today in local town and it was totally uninspiring!

Unless you’re young, slim, have a funky hairstyle and/or tattoos, I think this will look soooo frumpy sorry!

I’ve never seen it look good on anyone over 40. I really don’t think goth was the suggestion she was looking for either. If you put aside the goth aesthetic, the clothes from
disturbia are very cheap fabric and poorly made which as you get older is less forgiving.

I think that’s a good place to start. I’ve started wearing more colour and interesting prints and mixing up patterns (I think they call it dopamine dressing). I’m trying to stay away from black as it’s very draining on older skin and it just makes me feel a bit depressed.

One person’s edgy, is someone’s else staid and boring. Just have a look at the sites mentioned here op, and others, eg from friends whose style you like, and see what appeals. Even you dont buy anything from said sites, you might get some inspiration. Really it’s how you style things, mix it up etc, that makes the difference, imo.

@StylishAndBeautifulagree but I find it easier to show when you know what you’re looking for, rather than a blanket statement of looking edgy which seems to be overwhelming.

I love a pair of leopard print barrel jeans to add some interest to outfits, jewellery can be an easy way of updating your clothes too .
Have a look on pinterest and create a board of looks that you actually like and that feel like they are you and then start building a wardrobe from that . Putting together outfits can be really hard so take the inspiration

Used to love AllSaints but agree just bland and expensive now

OP often I think this can be more about identity and less about clothes, if that makes sense. Because losing your sense of what your personal style is once you have kids seems to happen a lot with mothers. (Less with the dads? I don’t know)
We are so busy looking after kids and earning a living and then one day we look around and realise that dressing has changed and it’s hard to know what’s current any more. Or if what’s current in clothes even works for you any more. Your body changes and that makes a difference and your lifestyle changes that that dictates what you now need from your clothes. That’s very normal. I think the PP are right who are saying it might feel more authentic to yourself to reflect elements of yourself pre kids, in your post kids wardrobe. Youre still the same person, it’s more about integrating the mum self into your lifelong self, which m if you want you can decide to reflect in what you wear.

@butternut123 , I don't think OP knows what she's looking for.
I looked up 'edgy chic' and got Edgy Style | Women's Fashion Guide | Stitch Fix

I have a mistrust of AI - how much personal info are we feeding into these things. I'd prefer to get an impartial human to suggest outfits.
You need either a good and honest friend or relative for this or an expert.
Not someone who'll say it looks lovely when it's a lovely outfit that doesn't suit your body, colouring or style.
I'd give the JL personal stylist a go. I know someone who did and she invested in a capsule wardrobe from it and looked great.
OK, I wouldn't really think edgy chic about JL but I think it would give OP a sense of what looks good on her.

I've always had my own style (or lack of it depending on opinion ) and I think I have a pretty good idea of what works.
I invested in this book Style Counsel by Spenser, Carolwhen it came out - it was featured in a Sunday supplement decades ago now, but it's a treasured belonging. The guidelines haven't changed, even if the fashions have.

@FuzzySlippers ,. Because losing your sense of what your personal style is once you have kids seems to happen a lot with mothers. (Less with the dads? I don’t know) The dads too. I think they end up wearing what they liked for casual pre-kids, and many put on weight when their DW/DP is pregnant.
They seem to wear rugby style striped short sleeve shirts and slightly loose straight jeans and a slightly overgrown version of the pre-kids haircut.

Here are some Petite Hourglass Celebrities for inspiration.

Agreed, to me All Saints are in their 50s and a style which says casual, whereas PossyCat Dolls are called edgy and they are just tarty

Oasis was a let down. I thought they did pretty dresses but it was some middle aged men

When you say edgy do you mean unexpected? I like to be fairly modern classic but have a bit of humour or something a bit off if that makes sense. Like wearing a clumpy pair of loafers or brogues with a pleated skirt or wearing a crisp shirt and tie but leaving my hair down and wild (I have lots of wavy hair so I do mean wild). I wouldn’t say it’s edgy but I don’t like to be too considered. Largely because I’m lazy but also it just feels more like me.

Maybe you mean ‘quirky’ rather than edgy @Richtea67

I would interpret "edgy" as an umbrella term for dressing in an unconventional way with a dramatic edge. I think the lots of different interpretations on this thread show that it's not a one size fits all.

I would also add to the playing with textures, playing with shapes to create different silhouettes. As I said before, I think start small - maybe accessories - to find your style and what feels like you.

@Richtea67 , Women’s Dresses at M&S.
I like Denim Mini Shirt Dress by M&S (would prefer a straight hem) and Crepe Pleated Button Front Shirt Dress by JAEGER at M&S
but I'm not an hourglass.

In her last post - three days ago - @Richtea67 was considering returning to her previous boho/classic style of dressing.

So perhaps her thread doesn’t need much more analysis of the parameters of edginess?

🤷‍♀️

@Richtea67 there's a great book called Style Statement which I bought years ago and work through again if I'm feeling uninspired by my wardrobe - it gets you thinking about what you like and you come out with words which describe your signature style which definitely then helps with looking for what to buy and wear.

Paperback can be hard to get hold of but looks like there is a kindle version now - https://amzn.to/4dmG5Xu

Genuinely curious as to where you have seen the 40 somethings wearing Disturbia? Do you see them in the street and quiz them as to whether they are wearing Disturbia clothes, followed by asking their age? Or perhaps it’s online?
I would love to know if there is a place for ancient Disturbia wearers to gather and compare notes about fabric quality, how not to look old and sad sartorially etc.
Would a 39 year old be able to carry it off better? Perhaps you would couldn’t pull it off, but some of us, be assured, do.

@SuePerblybuilt , you can wear it until midnight, then it suddenly looks dreadful because you are 40.
The minute you reach 40, you automatically put on 2 stones, develop sagging everything, blah-di-blah...

Wow you’ve really thought about this!
I’m referring to ‘aging goth’ not necessarily Disturbia - although the clothes are very poorly made and that’s hard to pull off at any age and look great. The op said herself she wasn’t interested in looking like a goth despite all the ‘helpful’ suggestions.
whether you want to face up to it or not, cheap clothing is harder to carry off as you age, as is black. So recommending that a 40 something goes goth was a bit left field and not great advice - in my humble opinion.

cheap clothing is harder to carry off as you age, as is black I agree.

I find collarless styles harder now I'm older.
I've been reaching for bandanas more and more.

do you mean Allsaints the 90s band as opposed to Allsaints the high street shop?
unless there’s also a shop called pussycat dolls of which I know nothing

It’s been a funny read though. For some reason people are jumping straight to goth, corporate goth, corsets ‘ex punk’ , ‘alt’ and ‘chunky silver jewellery’ as the interpretation of ‘edgy’.

Much as I love aspects of goth and punk, particularly punk (and two tone, casuals style), I don’t think that what are essentially style uniforms (and usually a whole lifestyle) are necessarily the way to go either, without really understanding yourself, what suits your personality, lifestyle and looks etc otherwise you risk finding yourself pigeonholed into a costume with no idea how to mix up elements etc

it’s interesting that people equate edgy with very recognisable and ubiquitous cultural looks, this is why I think the word edgy was not the ideal choice for op as it has just unleashed a load of two a penny stereotypical styles.