Dressing with a bit of an 'edgy' look.

[Richtea67]

Hi, I need to re vamp my wardrobe for autumn/winter and need some advice on how to incorporate a bit of 'edgy chic'. I'm early 40's, 5ft 2, size 14/16 and hour glass shape with big boobs and a bit of a mum tum. I have dark hair and olive skin, so tend to suit darker/autumn colours. I need a couple of staple bits, and some clothes I can also wear for work ( casual dress code). I already have some chunky boots and a grey leather jacket. I went shopping today in local town and it was totally uninspiring!

You’re not too old. I’m nearly 50 and half my wardrobe is from there lol. A lot of the prints are very subtle, you have to look twice to see that among those pretty flowers etc, are snakes, foxes, owls, witchy things! The corset style tops can look really smart with tailored trousers: I get asked all the time where things are from. Vinted has quite a lot of that label too.

It depends on what you want OP but I think it’s more about your overall look and how you style things rather than about buying ‘edgy’ clothes per se. You can get pieces in regular High street shops like Mint Velvet and All Saints which can be styled to look edgy.

I would be careful on Disturbia. A lot of that looks a bit ‘teenage Halloween party’ edgy rather than ‘subtle grown up edgy’ to me, but I guess it depends on what you want.

I’ve kept returning to this thread, writing another post and then deleting … @MidnightMeltdown has said what I’ve been thinking, but more diplomatically than I could manage.

(I’d suggest you’ll look far cooler in Uniqlo, though.)

Bollocks to “a you haven’t been edgy all your life, don’t start now”. I spent from 20-50 in clothes from the local second hand shop, spending hardly a penny on my outfits, forced to wear very bland corporate work wear and owning very little non work wear. I’m now 53, in a different job, discovered Vinted, and have overhauled my entire wardrobe. I’d say my look veers between 1940s train station in Berlin and goth circus master, but always on the right side of fancy dress. I receive compliments on my clothes multiple times a day (I’m a teacher).
Vinted is an absolute blast. I spend my “pocket money” there - about a tenner a week. If the item is a failure, who cares at that price? Like some items and the algorithm will get to know and suggest what you like. If you see one brand popping up, search for it. Search for the brand in this thread. You’ll soon have a bunch of favourites that you can build on. I picked a colour, built a capsule wardrobe in that colour, then picked a different colour for my next capsule.

Speak for yourself, myself and most of my 40 plus friends have all had 40+ wobbles about style and who we are post motherhood. Glad you feel so self assured but it sounds like op is similar to the rest of us and still working on it.

To begin with I don’t think there is a clear definition of “ edgy”. Band t shirts, biker jackets and chunky boots might fit that criteria or black outfits head to toe with safety pins but it’s all very… literal. How you present yourself with hair and make up can also make a difference. Put a tea dress ( possibly from M&S ) on someone with a shaved head and tattoos and that’s going to look edgy to a fair part of the population. You don’t need big weird performative pieces but items that combined make interesting outfits. Maybe an unusual colour combination or shape. You can layer and change the shapes quite easily.

i have a very distinct memory of being around 43 and walking through this railway tunnel in a “nice” beige outfit and this guy passing me and feeling like a ghost - like he could just walk through me. It was not that I wanted his attention but that I felt like a non person. I’ve since gone through a big process of re-vamping my life including making changes to my clothes. I have an androgynous style - I like oversized and mannish sometimes. Im
not that fussed about flattering so much as feeling like myself. I understand that sense of losing yourself a little bit. The answer requires a bit of work before you start buying random items of clothing. Finding a few sources to help you find your own style and maybe confidence. The Curated Closet is an old favourite but there have been more recent examples from influencers. ( not copying their style but to help you find yours). And yeah once you’ve worked that out you can buy pieces from anywhere.

I wouldn’t say FatFace was a particularly edgy shop but they’ve done a collection with Claudia Winkleman’s stylist that might be worth a look bearing in mind Traitors style has been mentioned.

Not read the full thread but the first page.
I agree with the post quoted here.
in response to pps, Joe browns and Allsaints couldn’t be more different from each other if they tried. Neither is ‘edgy’ if that’s the word you want to use .

Allsaints was ‘edgy’ about twenty years ago, its still cooler than Joe browns though. You can get a lot of old Allsaints on eBay and Vinted but youd fare better finding your own style first before buying specifics based on other people’s recommendations here.

maybe get some magazines, get some style inspo, if you can, get a personal stylist session to help work out your own style. I did this after coming out of my pregnancies haze and losing a shitload of weight.

I’d had a style as a young person that was pretty much old school hippy blended with free party styling which looked fab as a beautiful tiny young woman but it wasn’t working for me as a grown up with babies and a corporate job but we worked out how to blend my personal style with my current lifestyle and I had a ‘look’ I loved for all occasions.

that was years ago, I’ve since developed it and it’s evolved over time into something I love and is easy to shop for and to dress and means I very rarely need to buy new clothes.
When I do buy new I mainly shop on Vinted.
my algorithm shows me things I’m likely to love.

follow style content for people who are your shape and size. You’re pretty much my shape and size and i definitely have a style which some might call edgy but i wouldn’t because the word makes me cringe.
’alt’ is only one way of styling and although it’s alternative it’s also ubiquitous, and easily veers into fancy dress territory
you have to find your own style and love it.

Exactly this 🙌

I love Uniqlo for basics

Say “chunky” again, I bloody dare you

I wonder if you might find reading this thread helpful, @Richtea67; it may prompt some thinking about how you actually see yourself:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/style_and_beauty/5577238-but-what-has-actually-influenced-your-wardrobe-shopping-choices?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

As wel as following style accounts of women of your colours and proportions, look for celebs who are similar shape and size to you, just put it into a google search, you’ll get loads who have already been professionally styled and have their distinct ‘look’, this could help you to find some looks that personally appeal to you.
i think a ‘look’ may be what you’re after as opposed to ’edgy’ .
a ‘look’ means it looks like you’ve actually thought about the outfit, rather than just put some clothes on. It can be any style really.

So jeans, a vest and trainers is just an outfit. Add a vintage suede jacket, a good belt, jewellery and interesting shoes and it becomes more of a look.
A look is styled and interesting, not necessarily ‘edgy’ which often veers into a uniform of its own as described by many posters here.

you can do this @Richtea67 but make it your own

Does 'edgy' simply mean evolving / having your own distinct sense of style as opposed to dressing like a goth etc?

There are lots of posters who want to 'blend in', 'not get it wrong' or 'dress to be invisible' (in the sense that no one will pick them out as too flamboyant or too badly dressed)

I would say the vast majority of posts we see on S&B fall into this category 'is this dress suitable for a wedding' or 'are these (average) trainers too crazy for me, i'm 40' etc

And then there are some posters who have a v well evolved style. They dress to different principles than fitting in.

They are all individual & you couldn't say there's a unifying element apart from an understanding that all clothes are a statement & reflect something about us & our personalities.

Dressing in the least stylish way is as much a decision as dressing up to the nines

I suspect by edgy you might mean 'with personality or indivuduality. This is harder than putting on a goth or rockabilly or rocker uniform but it's v rewarding

It will require you to start picking things simply because you love them. That initially takes courage as it's nailing your colours to the mast.

Start by looking, looking, looking - real people you come across, tv, films, books & online

Start small - buy shoes or a bag or a jacket that really fills you with joy (not it's fine & it won't draw any attention to me)

Keep adding to it - make a wish list, take photos in shops etc

Be brave!

Thank you for sharing the above thread - very co-operative with posters building on what each other have shared. The OP is commenting regularly as well. I'll look in at that again.

What is your style op ?
Before u lost it ?
Go back to basics and add some key pieces that make YOU feel good !
Try to think back to outfits that made u feel a million dollars and do an updated of that !
Maybe u used to wear scarves
Or maybe chunky loafers
Or a oversized blazer
Then u will be dressing in a style u know works for u x

I am similar size and hourglass shape to you.

Firstly are you sure on autumn colours if you are olive skin? Usually warm skin tones suit cooler winter colours better. They can still be darker, look at Red Leopard on Instagram for their colour videos.

Hourglass usually suit more luxurious fabrics that curve and drape, nothing stiff or crumpled. The style is usually romantic ir piratey, a wide v neck that shows the collarbones. I can’t really do chunky jewellery but use layering to make a statement, we can do more accessories than most other body shapes.

I also like dresses or skirts that end at the knee, the narrowest point of the leg, anything longer make me look as wide as I am tall! Same for ankles and wrists, need to show them as the narrower bits of that makes sense.

I like a chunky heel/ platform too as I feel it works with my proportions,

saying all that, I haven’t found any one shop that suits me. Monsoon, I like for a boho vibe. I suit big abstract patterns- Joe Browns is too ditsy and looks frumpy on me.
I like a biker jacket, big lapels for that open v shape again. Zips and tassels on anything I like.

I’m on a style group on Facebook called Style Me Happy. The woman who runs it does colour and shape analysis. It’s a very nice and supportive group. The ‘edgy’ question has been asked before so you could look on there in the search bar. She also runs a ‘28 Days to Style Confidence’ course to help you find yourself, it’s brilliant, I’d highly recommend.

Op, I think you already know what you like and don't like. Have you given Vinted a go? I find that I can get lots of decent things on there from a few years ago that suit me much better than what's in the shops. Have you looked at maxi skirts and maxi dresses, dark jumpers, big scarves etc? Also I stick to quite a lot of basics (wide culottes, fitted t shirts, dark shirts etc and accessorise. If you can do a bit of people watching in a big city around art schools, galleries, vintage markets etc, you might get a bit more inspiration.

i was always a bit alt growing up, and these days I still manage to incorporate it but though texture. I wear cord or velvet high waist jeans from Levi’s, some brown or black boots depending on the outfit or how I feel - they range from brogue style to chunkier. High waist mid length skirts in silks, cords. A range of plain black tops in a variety of cuts, I find a cap sleeve or tank top style is a bit more edgy. I’ve loads of jackets - denim shacket, berry cord shacket, waxed jacket, wool etc. I also have a lot of tattoos and a wolf cut so that helps.

But that said I’ve just done the school run in a waxed jacket, adidas joggers and bare foot boots so I’m not always looking stylish.

Just lean into what you naturally like, wear natural fibres and mix it up with texture. Stick to a colour palette - mine is faded blacks, terracotta, burgundy, navy and olive generally. Also a good bag - my go to is a dark brown suede slouchy bag - looks quite dark academia but also smart

Reading this thread I’ve just realised I have a wardrobe with many ‘performative’ clothes 😂

I like to find a piece of clothing I love. Then build around it with either things I have or search for on Vinted.

I recently bought a corset style fitted denim jacket with a peplum. Add a full skirt and you have a silhouette Elizabeth the first would recognise add chunky boots and that's the outfit. (But nothing subtle about this look, I agree) Big fan of The Vampires Wife and look to Claudia and Florence Welch and my teenage self for inspiration. My teenage self was very confident in her clothes choices.

Early fifties- life is short, wear what you want. Enjoy playing!

My style is soft romantic goth/rock chick and this is what I've bought recently...

I mix in blazers, slipknot tshirts / other band tees / plain tees, ankle boots, knee high boots, leather and denim jackets.

I've been a 'rock chick' all my life and did find the transition into mid life dressing kinda hard and totally lost my style for a bit.

If you want to dress with a bit more of an edge that’s fine, but as others have said, if it’s not who you are it will look out of place, so I’d make it subtle. I’m a similar age and wouldn’t say I dress like a typical woman in her 40s. I guess you could say I dress with a bit of an “edge”. Doc martens all the way in the winter (not the bright coloured ones, black or brown) baggyish or what people call boyfriend jeans (I hate that term though!) adidas tracksuit jackets, T-shirts rather than tight tops, although I like tight vests, slightly baggy and slightly cropped shirts with the top button done up with high-waisted jeans, lots of jumpsuits and overalls, very dark red lipstick occasionally. Love a bit of leopard print. I’ve got some great leopard print dungarees. I like vintage stuff too. Esp vintage Nike Air trainers. Brands/shops I like are Free people, adidas, Zara, vintage shops & vintage sports stuff, Vans, Lucy & Yak for jumpsuits, Hush, even Next has a few gems sometimes!

I always think Religion do some good stuff. That and mint velvet

I am really interested in this thing that a few posters have said: if it's not who you are then it will look out of place..... what would you expect a person wearing slightly different clothing to BE? Because I have encountered people wearing alternative clothing in many different environments and their clothes don't really reflect any other aspects of their personality.