Dressing with a bit of an 'edgy' look.

[Richtea67]

Hi, I need to re vamp my wardrobe for autumn/winter and need some advice on how to incorporate a bit of 'edgy chic'. I'm early 40's, 5ft 2, size 14/16 and hour glass shape with big boobs and a bit of a mum tum. I have dark hair and olive skin, so tend to suit darker/autumn colours. I need a couple of staple bits, and some clothes I can also wear for work ( casual dress code). I already have some chunky boots and a grey leather jacket. I went shopping today in local town and it was totally uninspiring!

What i meant was, if you’re trying to be someone who you don’t naturally feel you are you won’t feel comfortable and that awkwardness you feel about yourself will radiate from you. Eg. I’m not overly feminine or “girly”. If I was to wear a very feminine floral dress I’d feel really uncomfortable and like I wasn’t being my true self. And that would make me uncomfortable in my own skin and I think people would notice that. Like I’d feel like a bit of an imposter or like I was in fancy dress or something

I’d say @WrongWomen has expressed what I’m understanding from the OP (who’s either been frightened away or wasn’t much fussed anyway!). I suspect what she’s aiming for with the term ‘edgy’ is intentionality, rather than anything countercultural or threatening.

And as others have said, the best route to that is looking and looking and looking - and eventually choosing one or two things that seem absolutely irresistible and exactly you. And then finding other items that complement the first pieces.

@mcmuffin22 , if it's not who you are then it will look out of place. It's to do with looking comfortable in your skin. If I dress in what I think I should be wearing, I feel wrong, and it will show.

... look for celebs who are similar shape and size to you...have already been professionally styled and have their distinct ‘look’, this could help you to find some looks that personally appeal to you.
This. There is no point trying to look like Claudia, Taylor, Joanna or Katrina if you look like Kylie, Sabrina, Dawn or Serena. Look for someone who's about your height and shape, and colouring, whose style you like. Look at what makes them look 'edgy'. You don't have to dress like them, but you can glean ideas.

I learnt when older and suits for work was no longer a thing that dresses are actually great. The right dress and shoes and you're done, all you need is good hair, make-up if you wear it, and some accessories (or not) that are 'you'.

At this time of year, if you want to update your look why not start with a new black coat? Black looks both classy and edgy. A wrap style coat would probably suit your figure, then some ‘witchy’ smart black knee high boots. The boots would then add a bit of edge to skirts and dresses. I agree that it’s not about choosing certain shops - it’s about choosing suitable things from shops you like. I like Mango and Zara, but also M and S and All Saints - depends on budget obvs too. But good black basics and lots of jewellery is a great start for looking edgy as a grownup imo.

I think accessories are the easiest way to start without completely changing your wardrobe. Chunky silver jewellery, a good belt, leather jacket and boots can make a simple jeans-and-knit outfit feel much less “mumsy”. Then add one or two edgier pieces once you figure out what you actually like.

I have no goth proclivities at all but I love a load of stuff on that website!

@Richtea67 avoid edgy and go classic.

Do you know your colour palette? Maybe ask Chatgpt to do it for you and then have a look around for some pieces in your "colours".

You threw down the (chunky) gauntlet and the (chunky) challenge was accepted with (chunky) gusto!

I think black coats are dreary.

Disturbia is a look I’ve loved since a teen. I’m now 52. I used to dress like that and dye my hair and want to be Amy Lee (lead singer of evanescence). I still do! Have you seen her? My word she’s a goddess. However I’m a tall hourglass with red hair and freckles so it fucks with the look somewhat. I just throw in a few touches rather than what I really want to wear cos it just doesn’t suit what I was born with.

Why should she go classic though? There was nothing in her opening post that suggested she was trying to be something she wasn't. I just read it as that was her natural inclination.

People should be allowed to switch between whatever styles they fancy throughout their lives and not have to hear 'oh but it's not 'you'.

@mcmuffin22 , don't get me started on the 'ask ChatGPT'. Can't anyone think for themselves any more?

Totally this. I am 53 and still very much a rock chic. I find biker boots, a scuffed up black leather jacket and a lot of chunky silver jewellery ups the drama factor in anything I wear. I find 90s minimalist tailoring very good for a sophisticated edgy look for work, I found an incredible cashmere Helmut Lang black cashmere jacket secondhand - sharp shoulders, a cowl neck drape and a wrap waist when done up, I bloody love it and wear it with everything. I feel like Morticia Adams when I wear it with a body con maxi skirt!

Personally, I would look at designers with an edgy feel, like Alexander McQueen, and find cheaper clothes that emulate their trademark style. I found a beautiful Day Birger et Mikkelsen jacket years ago, a collarless biker style jacket with exaggerated wide, sharp shoulders and wasp waist - £40 on ebay! All Saints used to do great dupes of McQueen and Westwood looks but I have gone right off them in recent years. Bland designs and terrible fabrics but still a high price.

Basically, get yourself a great jacket and some kick ass boots! Also, your hair. I am lucky that I still have a long, wild, wavy mess of rock chick hair. Something layered that can look razor sharp or messy, depending on your mood.

This woman wants to wear stuff slightly out of the ordinary (and why shouldn't she??) And she is told to dress classically or ask chat gpt which will make her look like everyone else.

Yuk, gatekeeping is not very edgy/'alt' of you. Perhaps OP would have loved to express herself through clothes since childhood but due to budget/external pressures/controlling parents or partners only now finds herself able to do that. Who's to say that who were are is who we always were?

@Richtea67 It's all about styling. If you've lost your sense of style don't try to go too out there too quickly. Get your basics sorted, otherwise accessorising might look a bit fancy dress. Aim to find jeans that suit you and are more on trend, e.g. barrel or wide legs. Do you own anything you currently like to wear? For example do you have a flowery midi dress you'd normally wear with sandals that feels mumsy, that you could style with DMs and a leather bag for some edge? Also remember that your clothes have to suit your lifestyle. And you don't have to be wearing chains to be edgy. Sometimes the less expected styling is much edgier.

"Are you alt?" - what do you even mean? You sound a bit like a 14 year old trying to belong to a clique, not someone in their 40's.

Most adults have moved past these things and understand that we change and evolve endlessly throughout our lives.

OP, if you want to try wearing a new style then do it.

Would look gorgeous on the young girls that model it, but it would look beyond sad on a 40-year old. A 40-year old goth? Seriously?

There's a You Tuber called Emily Wheatley who (as I recall) describes her look as 'edgy classic'. Might be worth seeing if that's the kind of vibe you're going for. I also second the recommendation for the book The Curated Closet for helping you define what it is you actually like and how to start building a wardrobe that you're going to love.

Ageism and closed-mindedness. Fabulous!

Yep. I have a friend who has been a goth since a teenager, she is now 49 and works as a lawyer. She looks fucking incredible! It does help that she is a size 6, mind.....

Thankfully, there are many of us over 40, 50 and 60’s in my case, who have no fear of ever being labelled boring and unimaginative. 😂

I saw a lady who looked in her eighties at a Def Leppard concert recently. She was terrible frail and was being supported by what looked like her daughter but she was still there, in her hysteria tour t-shirt and jeans, having a fucking good time. That's my life goal, right there.

@krustykittens , that was me and I'm actually only 48 and it was my friend with me. She's had some work done though.

Thank you for the replies and suggestions all. I will have a look through all the brands when I have a bit more time. I did check out disturbia....not really my thing so I don't think I mean goth when I day 'edgy'. If I'm honest I'm just lost with it all. I think a personal stylist session is a good suggestion! Before I lost my sense of style I think I veered more towards a boho/classic vibe, perhaps I should start back there.

I would !
BecUe then your dressing in a style that's u and your comfortable!
You will look edgy when u dress confidently in a style u feel super good in !!