Status but every day handbag

[MademoisellePraline]

I've decided to treat myself, but I don't know where to start.

Firstly I don't know what else to call the kind of bag I'm after, hence "status" bag. I like Chanel, LV, which I know some fashionistas like to sneer at, so please, if that's you, respect that we all have different preferences.

I'm looking for a lovely every day bag, that I don't look stupid with on the school run etc. We live rurally, and didn't before, so all my Chanel and LV with chain straps etc would look majorly over done and I'd feel ridiculous wandering round town on casual shop with one. I do sometimes take my neverful but I'd like something much smaller. Slouchy and comfy as opposed to stiff leather.

What's a casual but still "status" bag that I could go for? I don't like massive gold logos etc like the GG Gucci bags, or the ones with big YSLs down the front. I would like it to be recognisable as branded, but from close up, not from across the street if you see what I mean.

Thank you.

I love my Balenciaga City. I have a Mulberry Iris, and a Roxette which I rarely use as they weigh a ton.

Why don't you get a Prada backpack?

I've just bought this, which I love
https://www.net-a-porter.com/en-us/shop/product/the-row/bags/weekend-bags/agnes-suede-weekend-bag/46376663163001957

I have a couple ysl totes/shoppers that I've been very happy with, although I have a Jamie and have to admit, that while I love the bag, I hate the logo. I might actually end up selling it.

Have you looked at Metier, OP? I agree with others that Bruno Cuccinelli and Proenza Schouler are doing some really nice bags.

I also love this
https://www.mytheresa.com/us/en/women/khaite-lotus-medium-suede-tote-bag-brown-p00970292?dplink=true&utm_source=sea_pla&utm_medium=google&utm_campaign=google_sea&chn=sea_shopping&src=google&cmp=22079385109&tarea=us&tar=&ag=&ptyp=&feed_num=P00970292-1&gclid=CjwKCAjwqc_UBhBKEiwAWbl25hByNEhTPVo86Ij69QrFDBA0UD5YnsqkD8AF2DJ4put53ygs008LKBoCXHkQAvD_BwE&gbraid=0AAAAAD3Pw-lMTXngRWRh-4g7neD7Y9rVu&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22079393959&gbraid=0AAAAAD3Pw-lMTXngRWRh-4g7neD7Y9rVu&slink_id=361ade40-2249-4faa-ac55-e7c2fadff8d4&slink=1

Ooh, where did you find a liner for the puzzle tote? I have one and love the tote, but a liner would be amazing

Excellent choices! Just got the Siena hobo in dark taupe and today bought the coach Lana from secret sales.

the large one in olive is reduced to 290, with 10% off!

Because bags are unspoken symbols that other people look for to see if you might belong in the same tribe. People naturally gravitate towards those who share the same joys or sorrows as them. Some women genuinely enjoy spending several thousand on a designer bag because they can afford it, and they need to find similar minded friends who can understand this. Not people like you who inevitably drop a sniffy, judgemental comment disguised as faux advice.

So you've answered your own question. Status bags are a way for people to pre-select others who they have more in common with. There are multiple brands, designs and price points, and those with a bit of knowledge will immediately be able to categorise someone based on what they're carrying. There's nothing wrong with choosing a cheap bag with a nice design, but that's obviously what everyone does? It shows you don't care about brands and a bag is primarily about functionality, which is totally fine.

However if a wealthy woman is chatting to you and sees your cheap, no-name bag then she will pick up on those qualities too. She will sense you're someone who dislikes displays of wealth and doesn't know anything about designer fashion. She may also sense you dislike women like her who do enjoy spending money on bags and therefore you both have nothing in common. She will not waste more energy trying to befriend you. She doesn't see your reverse snobbery as some sort of admirable moralistic trait, but simply an everyday, average woman who cannot understand her life.

@Bedroomdilemmas113

my thoughts too. For the everyday school run type situation I have always preferred tapestry type bags you can sling over your shoulder or cross body, my current bag is Fat Face, I save decent leather bags for occasions when I’m wearing smarter clothes

@User7989776

its ok, i wouldn’t want a friend who wants to know me because i have the right bag! So shallow

Or indeed judges you because you want to spend your money on nice bags!
Live and let live.

Hello! Please go look up the Bean Soup Theory.

I hadn't heard of this! Thank you 👍🏼

My favourite bag I bought from the craftsman, each one is made in his Greenwich workshop, beautifully made, better quality than any of my bags with “labels”

https://www.mulberry.com/gb/shop/women/bags/small-darley-satchel-oak-two-tone-small-classic-grain

🙄

Yeah I find it hilarious that the posters who are most butthurt about these threads are those who secretly want to belong to the group the most! People who don't care about brands genuinely don't care. They will never even bother opening this thread because the topic is clearly stated in the title.

It's always the most envious people who are the first to enter threads like these and throw around phrases like "shallow" or "ridiculous" or "stop copying trends" because that's exactly what they're trying to convince themselves. Similarly, real life friends would never judge their friends for spending choices and if you do, you're obviously not a real friend.

If you can't afford these sort of bags, just chill out and look away. Nobody here is going to be crying in their mansions because you called them shallow in an internet forum. Maybe try working until you can afford the same bags before casting judgement.

I asked a similar question and it was genuine and also definitely not reverse snobbery of any kind.

Handbags are not the only symbol.

I do know what you mean, however the people who have these handbags and are of the means you’re describing will also have the accompanying ring(s), watch etc. It isn’t a single standalone symbol of someone in the same spending bracket as you. There are many women who have a bag they saved for years for, and it’s not at all symbolic of their overall financial picture. She won’t fail to make friends she deems suitable because she doesn’t have the ‘correct’ brand of bag with her.

I say this as someone who barely carries a handbag because I spend most of my time ferrying my child around to various horse related activities, but I have never struggled to make equally wealthy friends. Moving in the same circles is a much better way to gravitate towards similar people than worrying that you’re going to be shunned forever because you preferred a Mulberry over a Loro Piana tote.

Yes, it's just a thread about style - no biggie! I genuinely don't know why handbag threads get this more than any other.

Handbag threads always go this way. It's ridiculous.

My favourite bag is the slouchy (loved to death) Maison Margiela 5Ac bag. I’m also considering JW Anderson’s loafer bag now.

Handbags are definitely not the only symbol but one piece of the whole picture. The typical other things are hair, weight, teeth, watch, shoes, nails, makeup etc. I have a theory that those wealth symbols are mostly a way of signalling how interesting, powerful or influential you are as a person. They are not actually superficial but designed to make others curious about you and want to build connections. These connections might open doors or opportunities down the road that prove to be quite significant.

It comes from the fact that having loads of money is not common or easy. And therefore anyone with a significant display of wealth must have an interesting back story, an interesting career, an interesting family or of course, married to someone with the same criteria. It's more of a social peacock display designed to make others wonder about your life. And of course, wealthy people only open up to similar minded people so by dressing a certain way, you signal to them you're part of their tribe. And that's the only way you can find out what their source of wealth is (this sounds superficial but it's more about natural human curiosity).

It's no surprise that wealthy people tend to flock together. In every community, the high earners somehow end up knowing each other. As mentioned earlier, this can be genuinely useful. We've know people who lend out their holiday homes for free, dentists who give free treatments, lawyers offering free advice etc. It's not unethical if the person genuinely wants to do something for a close friend but will charge for the same service from a stranger. Some of these connections might have originated from something as trivial as carrying a certain bag in a certain place.

All the COL and "how do they afford it" threads on MN miss out the huge glaring fact that the richer someone is, the more things they actually don't need to pay for. They have friends in high positions from nearly every industry and they're happy to give things or services for free. Or for cost price which is a fraction of what normal people pay.

I think almost all threads on this board about expensive or designer things get a similar reaction. If you post a dress or a pair of shoes someone will always come along and say, Erdem is a ripoff, you can get a similar dress from Sainsbury's. It just seems to be the current ethos. I do get that a lot of people are struggling and seeing someone casually spend a fifth of their yearly income on a single item is difficult and looks tone deaf.

@User7989776 I don't know really about the tribe thing. I think some people just like what they like and don't think much about what choices others make? I have some fairly nice bags, but am not super into them. I could afford a Birkin but would never buy one because I don't get the love, and I have an inherited Chanel classic double flap that I also don't quite get the fuss over. I will, though, spend real money on clothing, because it's more interesting to me, but I would never look at what someone else is wearing or carrying and make a judgment based on that, just as I would hope they wouldn't see me as a vapid, wasteful person. And that kind of thing is very situational. I have a 3 carat engagement ring, and when we lived in NYC, no one even noticed it. When we moved to London, even living in Chelsea, I got so many side eyes I stopped wearing it, and many of my wealthiest friends are almost exclusively in jeans and trainers, carrying canvas totes, although exquisitely highlighted and sculpted and manicured.

Was yours the soft medium? Those look nice. I quite fancy the Dress-Age.

Nor do I. It's almost like women can't possibly just like nice bags and instead everything must been done with a view to what other people will think of them, although I accept that the OP clearly cares and so what?

I have everything from Chanel and LV to TopShop, vintage no name beaded numbers and a particular ratty old cotton Miss Selfridge shopper with the lining torn, but in a beautiful floral print. I bought them all because I like them, and I'm not going to apologise or feign some ridiculous embarassment because some of them were expensive.

I'm not even really a bag person. Don't get me started on how many hats I own 😀

I think I would genuinely buy every bag listed on this thread if I could!

What beautiful pieces!

😂 I have one woolly hat!
I do wonder if there's some puritanical element; things which are deemed luxury items are treated with contempt and suspicion. Let people enjoy nice things if they want to, it's harmless
.