Struggling to find bras that fit after major weight loss and feel so defeated.

[Aiborlie]

I am just so fed up.
I have lost over 100lbs and maintained for 2 years now.
I always thought my belly would bother me but I don't really care much aboutnit but my boobs distress me so much.

At my biggest I had huge boobs. I've breastfed 3 times too.

I am now 8stone 10lbs and my boobs are very sagged.

I went to M&S months ago and they fitted me at a 34DD and I bought some full cup bras. I tried on some 'nice' bras but non of them fit at all.

My breasts are long and flat so I can't get any lift or illusion of cleavage even though there is a decent amount of tissue.

So M&S put me at 34 DD.

Those bras just have a massive gap in them but I think me and the fitter were just fed up by that point so I bought them and they look OK under tshirts.

So last night I did the home measurements things and came out at a 32C/D

My 18yo daughter is a 32D so I asked if I could try one of her bras on (a primark cheapie) and I was just hanging over the cup , like 50% out.

So went to John Lewis today. Told her I had on the M&S 34DD and she measured me at 31inches under the bust.
Agreed there was a lot of gape in the cup and suggested I try 32D.

Got about 4 styles and non of them fit.
Band was too tight and hanging out of all cups. No lift.

So she says to try either a 32DD or a 34D.
The 32DD just left me looking saggy AF with like a weird double boob. And the 34 D fit a bit better in one style and the other 4 I tried on didn't fit.

I spill out under the band, under my armpits.
My breasts are wide, long and flat. They dont stay in the middle like they're supposed to.

Once again woman looked baffled and didn't really help.

I can't have sex anymore with my bra off so I just wanted some sexy bras to give me some lift and support and help me feel good and I come away with a single nude coloured full cup bra that wouldn't look out of place in Bon Marche.

I cried in the changing room. I cried when I got home.

I am so upset and angry that I should feel great about myself after losing so much weight and all I feel is embarrassment and I am MORE self conscious now about my body than when I was 100lbs bigger.

I'm only 40years old and I cannot enjoy sex at all because all I can think about is how my breasts are either lying flat as a pancake or hanging down like tennis balls in socks. My husband tries to touch them and I recoil. Its so embarrassing having him trying to scoop down to the bottom of my bra to try and find my nipple :(

Please don't suggest surgery. I would have it tomorrow if I could afford it but I cannot. It's not an option at all financially, if it was I would have had it done already.

Would a sports bra be an idea? They don’t have the rigidity of pre-shaped cups and are built for functionally

i often find normal bras much less better fitting

I would suggest Rigby and Peller who supply bras to the Royal Family.
As for sleeping, Bravissimo sell sexy nighties that have built in supportt. I think they are what you are looking for.

I don't want a sports bra
I want something to feel sexy in, something to give me my confidence back a little. I have those types of bras for sleeping in. And a couple for under tshirts and such

But if I want to go out. Like on a date with a nice dress I need a proper bra and I just can't find one.

I feel like I have a deformity to be honest, how can my boobs be that bad that nobody can help me find a bra that fits :(

Can I recommend Boux Avenue? They have a huge range of bras and sizes. I buy online for both me and my DD.

I had huge boobs when pregnant and the poor little things have never been the same since. No volume and saggy.

I wear a 32C at Boux Avenue and find that their sizing across styles is very consistent.

I stay away from formed cups because I end up having a gap due to not enough volume. I buy their lace, non-padded underwires bras and they have a lovely fit. Their underwired cup is also quite wide. I wouldn’t shop anywhere else now.

Lemonade Dolls bralettes in the DD+ fit, good coverage, really comfortable and nice to look at (as long as you aren’t looking for neutral underwear!)
I’m assuming your DH has loved you at all shapes and sizes so why is the boob thing such an issue now? Mine are like spaniel’s ears post weightloss but it’s not a blocker to DTD

firstly well done on the weight loss and keeping it off. I lost 80lbs in my late 40s and so have the same kind of issue. I went to Bravissimo and they were utterly brilliant. They have so many styles and shapes that I found some that make my shape look brilliant and perky again 😊

I went passed their shop today after my fitting but felt so deflated (excuse the pun) that I didn't want to go in another shop but might try them

I think DD will be too big. They all had massive gaps.

It's an issue to me, not him. I've always had a good set of boobs and thats always been one of my main points of confidence and its just been taken. I'm glad that you have the confidence to not letnit affect you but not everyone has the ability to feel that way.
I just want a nice bra to give me a cleavage again :(

Congratulations on your weight loss!

M&S is notorious for fitting people in wrong sized bras. I don’t know about John Lewis. I highly recommend Bravissimo.

It might sound extreme, but go to Spain intissimo or somewhere not terribly dear. Thet believe the English measure bra sizingwrong. I must say I agree

Try the Panache TANGO - The full cup one. I have ones on the saggier side and I find these are the best to be honest. They aren't super stretchy so the keep them in place. The problem is also that the fabric type makes such a difference, I can literally be a k in one material an a J in another - with the same back size.

What I do is see what is on a decent sale reduction and order a load in 2 or 3 sizes. Then I just keep the ones that fit as they should - and this can mean I have different cup, and band, sizes.

I have NEVER been measured correctly. Its always resulted in an uncomfortable bra after a few hours.

There’s no need to go to Spain for Intimissimi, we have them here!

I have had success for sagginess with Victoria’s Secret - the Dream Angels Lightly Lined Demi collection. Finding the right style for a natural looking lift is first step, then the right size.

Firstly congratulations on your weight loss, that is a huge accomplishment and it can’t have been easy.
Secondly M&S are AWFUL for bra measurements and considering not much cheaper than Bravissimo they should be embarrassed by the service available.

My boobs have completely changed shape through weight loss and having always had a large full bust it feels alien to now have a large but ‘deflated’ bust. I highly recommend Bravisimo or Rigby and Peller for a real fitting and to discuss the style of bra needed. My current favourite style is the Panache Allure for comfort, support and style.

Well, they would say that, their bras typically only come in 3 cup size, B, C and D, so they have to squeeze everyone in that very small range. Their target market is teenagers and very young slim women who need little support.

Agree , the tango bras do wonders for mine !

Truly, truly, as PPs have said, don’t trust M&S — they are notorious for being absolutely awful at this.

I’m similar to you. I’ve lost four stone and gone from a K cup to a (much smaller size — I wrote DD before editing but that’s actually not correct! But a lot smaller). You need Bravissimo, and what you need to do is buy ONE of what they initially recommend, wear it a bit day to day, and then go back maybe 2/3 weeks later with a refreshed sense of what you like about the fit and what isn’t working, and talk to them again.

Because when your body has changed as much as ours have, it’s not always as simple as what seems fine in the store at one particular moment; it’s just worth a bit more investment of time to find what you feel great in.

Congratulations on your weight loss, it's an amazing achievement.

I guarantee your bra doesn't fit as M+S have told you the wrong size. There's also a lot of difference between different styles and different brands.

I suggest you go to an independent bra fitter where you can take your time and get a supportive experience and don't feel pressured to leave with something that doesn't fit.

I'm the same. Over 6 stone down from a 40hh, still over 3 stone to go and currently wearing around a 38h. I'd always worn underwired bras but bought a Conturve one for comfort a while back. I bought their biggest size and it was too small so I tucked it away in a drawer. Got it out again recently and was surprised by how well it worked for me now. The cups are moulded, so give the illusion of a full cup. And because it's still kind of too small, it gives more of an illusion of cleavage than bras that technically 'fit'. It's hard to explain but it works. And because it's non wired, it's quite comfortable. Off the back of that I bought a non wired bra in M&S and it also has a similar effect. I'm totally converted to non wired for now. I do think I have and will go through different phases during the weight loss, where different things work at different times. I hope you find something that works for you!

These are the ones I bought:

Conturve bra

M&S bra

Also just to add, the conturve non wired ones don't look like dowdy sports bras once they're on - they look just like nice plunge underwired bras. The M&S one maybe less so.

I'd try a Molke bra. I think you'd probably be a small-super or a medium-cosmic.

OK so they might not be the most glamorous if you are wanting something for the bedroom, but I def think they are worth trying if normal bras are proving useless.
They come up cheaper on Vinted all the time

molke.co.uk/pages/do-molke-bras-actually-support?srsltid=AfmBOoqs_SJR7J80bZMykfd6djLLUyfx3jaCpOjiBih2vT25FHbBU9Gp

This is really fantastic advice. A good bra fitting and taking the time to feed back to the fitter/think about what you need/try different shapes is so important.

Second Rigby and Peller. M and S are notoriously terrible at bra fitting. Told me I was a 34c when I was actually a 30 E. It’s not just size - it’s finding styles that work for your particular shape. They are pricy but once you know your size you can buy things on sale. It’s honestly life changing. If that doesn’t sort it then consider a breast uplift.

Try and find a specialist independent bra shop and get fitted there, preferably by an older lady who's worked there since she finished school and can close one eye and size you up through your clothes, check with her measuring tape, nod, disappear, reappearing from the stock room with a few choices for you, and let you know that you're not weird or abnormal or deformed, tits are tits and they're all different. A bit like feet. See if you can find a local shop that stocks Panache, or Elomi, and head there.

bravissimo - they are fab - either go to shop or do oniline fitting... they will make you feel good about what you have and are utterly lovely as well as having hte best bras