I’m 46 and losing my looks - think sugar, alcohol and stress are to blame

[Joyful26]

I have aged much earlier than I thought I would. I have coasted through up until now still looking attractive I thought.

but this year my looks have completely fallen off a cliff and I look like an old lady.

I did a lot of binge drinking in my teens and twenties- but that was normal then.

and in my 30s I had a really stressful prolonged time with domestic abuse and court cases involving my children. So as stressful as you can get really.

I binge ate loads of sugar in that time and put on loads of weight.

now my stresses are for the most part over. But my skin is saggy and wrinkly and I look really old. So I’m not sure if I can magically bounce back.

I mainly eat healthily now and exercise regularly, although I am a size 14-16 despite my best efforts.

but it’s my face I’m most worried about. I always use a good moisturiser and take good care of my skin.

I guess I’m worried that other factors have ruined it.

Sun, smoking, stress and alcohol are the biggies. But at 46 sometimes it is just plain old ageing.

How can we help you OP?

Are you looking for empathy (I definitely hear you - something happened to my face aged 45 and I hardly recognised myself one day in the mirror)

Or some tips to feel better? I have a regular micro needling facial and annual hifu. I don't know if it helps or it's my genes but my skin is pretty good I think & that gives me a boost.

It's a tough gig getting older when the world presented to us is young & beautiful, but that said, I wouldn't swap my life with a teenager now.

Would you ever consider cosmetic work? Do you have the budget for it?

If your looks are making you unhappy then its worth exploring.

How long have you been free of the stresses and sugar? It can take a while for skin to 'recover'.

Do you drink enough water? That will help with how your skin looks.

I'm not convinced drinking alcohol or sugar has any effect on our aging. The exception to this would be alcoholics, who drink heavily for years, as they tend to be malnourished etc.

Smoking, however, seems to really age people.

I think, unfortunately, the closer we get to menopause, our hormones result in loss of collagen etc so wrinkles and saggy skin are inevitable.

Skin care won't help with these things, as far as being curatives, but they can help minimise some wrinkles caused by dehydration etc.

Getting older is not for the weak! Someone said that but can't remember who...

Something I've found that really helps is focussing on health i.e. eating good, whole foods, drinking water and waking. Lifting weights helps tone muscles and keep me on the straight and narrow if I feel weak to too much cake.

Thanks all- yes any tips you’ve got to look better would be welcomed. I don’t really know anything about procedures people do nowadays. I’m genuinely sceptical about all of them - but at the same time open to doing what works!

stresses and sugar very recently eased off.

we had our final court case in March. And I think the tension was actually holding my face in place! Now it’s gone I’m all saggy.

sugar is a constant battle to keep out of my life. But I do try to avoid it.

Salmon. I genuinely notice a difference eating salmon 3x a week! My facial skin is plumper and smoother

Getting older sucks op. Women especially seem to age quickly once they hit their late 40’s/50’s. I’m guessing it’s hormonal in nature.

One thing I’ve found useful is to shift my focus from what I look like to what I can do. I have found challenging myself exercise wise has been helpful for my self esteem and sets me up to start my day with confidence. I know it sounds daft, but it works for me. Trying things I never contemplated before, even if I’m a bit crap at them at first. It’s fun to try new things. I’ve been very surprised what I’m capable of doing and the way my body responds, even in my 50’s.

I think collagen has had a positive impact on my skin coming from somebody who is also mid 40s. I use simple for face creams, nothing fancy. Also drinking plenty of water and sleeping I think is pretty key for me. I do dye my hair as it makes me feel cared for, I'm not ready to go grey just yet. I've lost quite a bit of weight over the last 2 years and that has made me feel good but thankfully hasn't made me look older.

Supplements and lots of water are meant to help. Sleep makes a huge difference too. I would ditch the alcohol or cut back. Also change up your skin care. Book facials. Try and cut back the sugar. Eat some of the “super foods” I have collagen powder not sure if it does much but I only have obvious lines around my eyes when I smile and no where else. Similar age.

I have a similarish backstory. Loads of binge drinking in my twenties and for some of my thirties too. I also smoked for 20 years and didn’t use SPF as much as I should have. Then had a double bereavement in my thirties and shortly after that I hit the perimenopause. The stress of the bereavement (and the year of illnesses that lead up to it) aged me very, very quickly. I am 48 but pretty sure I look significantly older. But the damage is done now. I don’t have the budget or the inclination for surgeries or treatments so I accept my saggy old face for what it is and just try to minimise any further damage. I rarely drink alcohol now, no longer smoke and am much more careful with SPF. And then I just avoid looking in mirrors 😂

What type of collagen do you use?

A spoonful of ancient and brave true in my morning coffee. Been taking it 18 months now.

My skin looks 100x better when I cut out alcohol for a reasonable period - a few weeks, say. Smoother, less dry and less blotchy.

46 year old faces are supposed to look older, wrinkles and sagging skin is normal. All the botox/fillers/plastic surgery has us thinking we should never look our age.

Ooh I’ll try this! I actually never eat fish!! I don’t mind it I just never think to eat it. That is hopefully a quick win for me!! 🤞

You either age or you die. There aren't any other options so be happy your not dead x also botox x

Thanks all. I’m actually going to book a session with the personal trainer at the gym, and really focus on toning my body, and hope general health and fitness improves my face too.

I liked what a pp said about focusing on what I can do with my body etc, as I do want to move forward positively with my life.

I haven’t had a facial for about 15 years! I was thinking one where they really massage you would help.

I tried using a jade roller a few weeks ago which helped me feel better at least.

not RTFT but there are two things that at 48 are making a surprising difference for me. 1) Botox, and 2) actually engaging with what "healthy eating" is. I always thought I had a healthy diet, and I've just started taking part in a medical study that forces me to follow the government healthy eating guidelines. It's not that hard, but I was quite surprised at how far away my diet had drifted. TV snacks, pizzas, chocolate - my total fat intake was far, far higher than I realised. When you actually follow it, you're looking at a total daily fat intake of 70g, of which no more than 20g saturated fat. That on top of hte 30g fibre requirements has transformed my approach and my skin. As someone else said, eat fish. Also avoid full fat dairy and eat almost no full fat cheese (by far the hardest thing for me).

Came out of 11 years of fucking horrendous family court proceedings a couple of years ago, it took awhile to recover and by the time I did I discovered I had Cancer. I honestly look better now at 50 than I did when this was going on. Give yourself a little bit more time, it’s hard to overstate how destructive family court proceedings are. I hope you got a reasonable result.

Most women age rapidly in their mid 40s - its hormonal.

We don't age evenly throughout our lives - there are periods of rapid ageing and mid 40s is one of them.

I got obsessed about it but spending time on anti-aging facebook sites cured me of that. I did not want to become obsessed like those posters with the fruitless task of trying to look as young as possible. It just makes you obsessed with your face and ageing, so you feel more miserable.

Agree with PP about prioritising keeping active and focusing on what your body can do for you. Much more mentally and physically healthy way to age than spending a shit load on 14 different lotions and potions to smear on your skin everyday.

I think genetics plays a role as does weight gain and loss but people really underestimate sun damage. I’m 45 with no wrinkles or sagging, but I still get teenage acne. Meanwhile, a friend of mine, same age but a past sun worshipper, already has a few wrinkles.

The reality is we're middled aged now. We're never going to bounce back and look like we did when we were 32. BUT there's definitely ways to embrace what we have and feel confident in how we look now. It's great you're eating healthy and keeping fit. That is going to make a difference to your body and your mental health.

I dont agree. It's a lot to do with genetics. You can have a healthy lifestyle & still look 10 or more years older or an unhealthy lifstyle & look 10 or more years younger. I know many women who can prove this. Obviously a healthy lifestyle helps but its not the only reason as to how we present when we age.

Op there are a lot of good suggestions here. I will add a smile & inner happiness, if possible,can take years of your face

The best thing you can do for your skin and general health is to improve your gut microbiome.

https://asm.org/articles/2023/january/gut-microbiome-communication-the-gut-organ-axis

I did the Zoe project in 2022 and my "teenage acne" finally cleared up when I turned 65. My fine thin hair was getting very bald looking along the parting, but it has all grown back again. I sleep better than I have since my teens, and I've lost 94kgs over the past four years. Adding a portion of kimchi and a glass of kombucha to breakfast, sauerkraut to lunch and a glass of kefir at tea time is a small price to pay for all the health benefits, and my eyes are no longer too puffy to see out of when I wake in the morning.

Interesting

I think you can bounce back. My mum looked ragged after her divorce from my dad. Now, 20 years later she’s in her 60s and she looks good. She looks a little younger than she is, but she doesn’t look 30. She just looks like a happy, healthy lady in her 60s.

Focus on health first, sleep, food, stress, do that for a year and then after that maybe look at some cosmetic procedures if you still want to.

Also please don’t be too hard on yourself or your body. Getting older is better than getting dead.