I’m 46 and losing my looks - think sugar, alcohol and stress are to blame

[Joyful26]

I have aged much earlier than I thought I would. I have coasted through up until now still looking attractive I thought.

but this year my looks have completely fallen off a cliff and I look like an old lady.

I did a lot of binge drinking in my teens and twenties- but that was normal then.

and in my 30s I had a really stressful prolonged time with domestic abuse and court cases involving my children. So as stressful as you can get really.

I binge ate loads of sugar in that time and put on loads of weight.

now my stresses are for the most part over. But my skin is saggy and wrinkly and I look really old. So I’m not sure if I can magically bounce back.

I mainly eat healthily now and exercise regularly, although I am a size 14-16 despite my best efforts.

but it’s my face I’m most worried about. I always use a good moisturiser and take good care of my skin.

I guess I’m worried that other factors have ruined it.

Thank you! You know, I tripped over in the kitchen last night and really thought I might not be able to get up. (Am v overweight.) It was scary.

Someone once said to me that in 10 years time I’d love to look the way I do now and your future self in 10 years would always be envious of how you look now. Eg your 50 year old self would think your 40 year old self looked amazing etc. That perspective has really helped me and when I start to think negatively it makes me be grateful for how I look now. Hope that helps!

Don’t worry about procedures yet, just try to get some good basics in place and see if that helps. Plenty of sleep, water, cut out alcohol or reduce significantly, if you have coffee aim for 2-4 espressos a day rather than instant, sunscreen every day, even if indoors, rosehip oil is great for smoothing and plumping, moisturise, eye cream. Realistically at this age we need som make up/grooming to look good, so maybe an eyebrow/lash tint if you’re fair haired (my eyebrows have just faded into the background…) Low dose HRT and a good diet (high protein and fibre, low animal fat, and sugar, lots of antioxidants). Exercise. That’s about it.

I've been using renew + me night cream for 3 months now and see a huge difference in my face! Defo worth a try before heading down the cosmetic procedures route.

This has been my experience also. I haven't used this particular brand, but I have found that good-quality products like this make a difference.

I’m well past 49 and have embraced aging. It’s such a relief to join the invisible gang. Once you are past a certain age there is no going back. Cosmetic surgery can only do so much and I’d rather be an older version of me than a grotesque caricature.

Hyaluronic acid injections - Ejal/Profhilo will help give you the glow back.

A good aesthetics provider can place fillers and Botox as needed to lift the skin and tighten it. Sugar - especially in peri or menopause will age you. Try and avoid that where you can. Find a good PT who specialises in strengthening muscle slings to get you back into shape. Slings are muscles that work together to stabilise the spine.

You can bounce back but it takes dedication.

Get your thyroid checked. My face looked like it was melting before I went on meds.

Hi OP, yes it has a real biological basis. Chronic stress elevates cortisol which accelerates collagen breakdown, & sugar drives glycation which stiffens skin structure over time. But the fact that you're eating well & exercising now matters. Try a retinoid few times a week at night & a vitamin C serum in the morning (& SPF without fail). Rebuilding takes time but the skin responds well to consistency.

Botox. Took 10 yrs off instantly and no bullshit creams and supplements and theories that rarely seem to do more than work as a placebo.

It happens at some point. All we can do is deal with it when it does. One thing to think about is posture, which is a huge communicator of age. Pilates is great for this. You can't easily change your skin tightness but you can change your posture and physique.

I agree with getting your thyroid checked . It explained why I looked so tired (and felt it). Then it also explained why I couldn’t loose weight. I went on Mounjaro with a bmi of 27.8 - a size 16+. BMI is now 23.5 and I’m a size 12. It’s taken years off me. Also go to the gym, drink loads of water. Listen to the Zoe apps - they are the best for healthy eating. Wear a factor 50 sun protection face cream - all year round.

my daughter bought me the Estée Lauder night serum that some have recommended
iv just started using it this week
is this a very good product
snd has it showed improvement
is it anti aging
is this one of the best in the price range.

I think genetic inheritance has more to do with it than we realise. I’m in my 50’s and my friends who look so much older have mums who also aged fast.

Ask chat gpt. It consistently tells me I look late 30s- mid 40s, no matter how shit I look.

But also, look back at what people in their 40s are actually supposed to look like without surgery. Celebrities my age are so far beyond normal, that there's no point in comparing. I look pretty much like my school friends- my age. People my age with botox look my age.... but shinier. Or with puffier lips.

Hi, yes, this is a great product. It's their most famous product and they just keep on improving it with the latest skincare technology. It's probably their most researched product. You have to be consistent about using it though. And although it's called Night repair, it's best to use it twice a day, I think. Check the instructions, but I seem to remember that from when I had it.

Remember that it's not a moisturiser, so you will need to use moisturiser on top of it if you want moisturised skin. Doesn't have to be fancy. Oil of Olay or some such will do. And also wash/cleanse your face before using it, obvs.

i read here on MN that the two biggest ages
for showing age are 44 and 60. I’m 60.

use sunscreen everyday a mineral based one

cut your alcohol out for 4 weeks and ease it back in in moderation…weekends only or special events only

sleep

I read Kris Kardashian Jenner is unhappy with how her facelift is “holding” Feels it has already started to droop. Prevention has always been the answer.

im still working on the sugar part as i do enjoy a small sweet treat a day. One piece of candy or such but honestly i need to eliminate that also.

edited to add: I do get a skin ceuticals anti aging facial every month and have for the 15
months. Love the relaxation the results and the way my skin feels and looks

3x a week?

For most adults, consuming 2–4 portions (about 140g per portion) of salmon per weekis safe and nutritious.

@Joyful26 hi I’m 50 and was told yesterday by a skin specialist for my age my skin is firm and amazing. I put this down to been having regular facials, a good skin routine and most recently been taking collagen in my tea by nutrition geeks . Wd all need collagen at this age in life I believe this has contributed massively. Good luck

we obviously haven’t seen your face and you have asked for opinions so here is mine… I wouldn’t go wasting money on creams, facials or even injections. If you have saggy skin, those things aren’t going to help. I’d go for consultation for a face lift. You can get a mini one a Z lift I think it’s called. This will give you the best results and value for money. Then all the other things you talk about would help maintain the results

I am hearing you as the same thing happened to me a few years ago at a similar age. Things that will help are massaging your face - I use super Facialist Rosehip oil. It’s very very good! My mum is 69 and it’s turned back the clock on her skin after I recommended it. Also change your diet. Lots and lots of differing coloured fruit and veg. Also treat yourself to a facial if you can ( once a month ideal but I couldn’t afford that ). I also use Curel skin plumper over my moisturiser and before foundation.And sleep! Plenty of it, good luck xx

I've taken the route of botox and fillers. I'm planning a minimally invasive neck lift as well.

OP, I’ve been through a divorce and came out the other side looking - in the words of the golden girls -like someone let the air out my face.
I’m now trying to make up for years of using skin care with chemicals that just aren’t good for us, sun exposure as a kid, and stress. But I can’t face Botox or fillers and not sure I ever will, as I’m trying to avoid putting more stuff in my body that I don’t need as I age, not more.
My advice to make yourself feel good, because that’s what it’s all about:

Tropic skincare, get rid of all that nasty chemical crap. Alternatively, try the Yuka app and scan all your skin products.
Invest in an LED mask and gua sha brush. There’s good evidence LED can help if used consistently. I’ve been using mine for 3 months now 5-7 times a week and my skin is less lined, more even and my rosacea is better. The Gua Sha brush thing just makes me look less puffy!
Diet is everything, so really spend some time looking at that in detail including keeping a food diary for a week or two so you can really see what you are consuming.
Supplement if needed - I take magnesium, biotin, vitamin D in winter, lions mane and omegas - with the odd bit of tumeric. May be useless but I do seem to feel better when I take these.
Collagen - not sure it makes you look better but it does help aches and pains in my experience, which makes you feel better.
Get outside every day if you can, and STRETCH. The more flexible you stay, the less aches you have in your old age. Use it or lose it.
And work on accepting that you are entering your crone era (after years of caring what other people think, what a liberation!) And that makes you so much wiser and bloody fabulous!

Genetics and being 46. Everything you say is normal to the majority of women.