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Arghhhh! Wedding shoes when husband and me are same height!

114 replies

Sunbeds · 24/02/2026 14:28

I’m totally stuck and running out of time.
My son gets married in a few short weeks. I have the dress (photo attached) but I can’t decide on suitable shoes. The big problem is that me and my husband are pretty much the same height and I don’t want me to tower over him in the wedding photos 😁
Because I haven’t worn higher heels as a result, I probably would totter around in them anyway!
I don’t want to wear loafers either.
Please can you suggest something suitable and elegant to go with this lovely dress?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
19
EleanorMc67 · 25/02/2026 18:22

PhaedraWas · 25/02/2026 11:46

I dislike flesh coloured tights. I'd go with sheer grey or navy. I don't understand the veto on here re navy. My 2 very stylish assistants, late 20s, and mid 30s wear black, grey and navy sheer tights.

I'm not keen on most of the shoe suggestions with the exception of French Sole and the Italian equivalent

Pretty Ballerina is the UK/Spanish equivalent

https://www.prettyballerinas.com/en-uk/collections/collection

I still like lace or fishnets for "events". Are they fashionable? Probably not! But then I still love my Wolford & Falke opaques for winter too ... Sheer tights make me nervous ...

WonderousUs · 25/02/2026 18:30

Highstool · 25/02/2026 14:41

Whilst sneering about the horror of appearing a bit taller than her DH? Ok.

Noooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!
PLEASE READ PROPERLY WHO I REPLIED TO IN MY POST THAT YOU'RE REFERRING TO!!!!!!
I was not talking to the OP!
Where oh where are your comprehension skills in keeping up with a thread?

WonderousUs · 25/02/2026 18:33

Ophy83 · 25/02/2026 17:26

I've been hankering after these for ages which may suit - I love the vintage look!

https://www.anoncph.co.uk/products/tiffy-crackled-metallic-goat-champagne

Also - get yourself a pretty bag and give your dh the rucksack!!

Oh wow, these are absolutely gorgeous shoes. Good find @Ophy83
@Sunbeds OP these would also look wonderful with your beautiful dress!

Highstool · 25/02/2026 18:34

WonderousUs · 25/02/2026 18:30

Noooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!
PLEASE READ PROPERLY WHO I REPLIED TO IN MY POST THAT YOU'RE REFERRING TO!!!!!!
I was not talking to the OP!
Where oh where are your comprehension skills in keeping up with a thread?

I can read perfectly well. The OP started a thread about how terrible it would be if she was a fraction taller than her DH in the photos, and then asked posters not to fall out about the height issue, which she first raised as a negative.

EleanorMc67 · 25/02/2026 19:29

WonderousUs · 25/02/2026 05:56

Haaaaang on. The OP has said she is ''pretty much the same height'' as her DH, which is fine. She has not stated she is taller. She has stated she ''doesn't want to tower over him'' (if she were to wear heels), which is completely understandable.
I initially thought the dress was black, as did plenty of other posters, but I later posted to say ''my mistake, I've realised it's navy'', and I complimented the dress by calling it beautiful, which it is. Please keep up with all my posts, don't cherry pick.
And no, of course there wouldn't be those terrible disasters you have exampled if OP were to wear black. But tradionally, a mother of the groom who wears black risks being seen by guests as sending a statement that she either disapproves of the bride, or that she is in mourning that her son is getting married. Therefore, mothers of grooms should be cautious about wearing black in case guests interpret their colour choice as this.
Anyhow, as you've said, the dress is navy, not black, which is perfect. And as I've said, it is a beautiful dress.
I'm thrilled you agree on the raspberry flats! I really hope the OP goes with them, rather than navy shoes.

I wasn't cherry picking, & have read all your posts & those from others!

My comment was relating to your use of the royal "we" about a sartorial point, which implied that it was something the majority of people agreed with you on. It's a habit on MN - & IRL - that I dislike.

And the "never wear black at weddings" diktat is one that I partly disagree with (though I see the OP also believes in it being some sort of not-so-secret signal to her DIL that she hates her, if she wore black!). I find those traditions you mentioned (which at 59 & a past guest at many traditional & non-traditional weddings, I can say honestly that I've never once heard of!) nonsensical &, tbh, rather sad ...??

I'd happily wear a black floral outfit (or navy as the OP's is!!) to a wedding. I wouldn't in general wear a completely plain black outfit, as it would look rather dull in the context of a wedding. Though, for a winter or evening-only wedding, I'd consider black velvet or satin because they look rich & lustrous, especially if patterned/mixed with other colours/embroidered etc. I wore a mostly black (with cream & silver embroidery/beading) vintage Biba dress to my sister's wedding - as bridesmaid - with her having the ultimate choice & giving it her full approval!

My ironic comments as to what disasters might befall the world, if a woman wore black to a wedding AS WELL AS, God forbid, heels that made her taller than her husband, were just that.

But they stemmed from your comments to the other PP who was four inches taller than her husband.

Oh my.
However do you manage being that much taller than your DH?! Doesn't it affect things between you? And how others see you as a couple? Is he very short??

Which you then doubled down on, when other PPs thought you were joking:

I can't get my head around a 4 inch height difference. Surely it makes the poster feel unfeminine, and the DH feel unmasculine, and surely they look odd together as a couple?

In the spirit of generosity (& loving the same shoes!), I'm hoping that your comments were naive & thoughtless - but to me (& probably those others who've commented in surprise/annoyance) they come across as very outdated, rude & prying. Yes, really ...!!!

Anyway, typed exchanges between strangers do lend themselves to much more misunderstanding & judgement than in-person conversation, so I probably shouldn't have replied this indignantly first or second time. But maybe I might just cause you to rethink your view of shorter men as only "worthy" of even tinier women ...

PhaedraWas · 25/02/2026 19:52

WonderousUs · 24/02/2026 20:43

Oh my.
However do you manage being that much taller than your DH?! Doesn't it affect things between you? And how others see you as a couple? Is he very short??

I thought this comment was a joke.

PhaedraWas · 25/02/2026 19:54

WonderousUs · 24/02/2026 22:19

No I'm not joking and there's no irony.
The poster I responded to is FOUR INCHES TALLER than her HUSBAND!
This is not the OP I'm responding to. The OP has more important issues to address, such as finding the right shoes.
This is about another poster.
I can't get my head around a 4 inch height difference. Surely it makes the poster feel unfeminine, and the DH feel unmasculine, and surely they look odd together as a couple?

Gosh I thought that was a joke too.

EleanorMc67 · 25/02/2026 21:26

PhaedraWas · 25/02/2026 19:52

I thought this comment was a joke.

I did too at first. The immature & smutty part of my brain (the 96.5% part) wanted to reply to the intrusive questions about a 4" difference affecting things between them with nothing but this ... 🍆

SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 25/02/2026 23:55

Zircon encrusted or faux diamond covered flip flops?

Sunbeds · 26/02/2026 06:04

For an update, so far I have bought some of the Dune shoes and some of the raspberry sandals. But I don’t think I’m finished yet 😁. These suggestions are so helpful and the shoes so lovely that even if I don’t wear them to the wedding necessarily, I’ll still wear them!
Please let’s not spoil the thread by falling out.
You are all amazing for taking the time to write to me xx

OP posts:
RomanyCream · 26/02/2026 07:02

Apologies for the de-rail @Sunbedsbut I love your dress. May I ask where you got it please?

Sunbeds · 26/02/2026 07:58

@RomanyCream It’s an Adrianna Papell navy floral beaded midi dress and I bought it from John Lewis before Christmas. Thank you for saying that.

OP posts:
EleanorMc67 · 26/02/2026 15:27

Sunbeds · 26/02/2026 06:04

For an update, so far I have bought some of the Dune shoes and some of the raspberry sandals. But I don’t think I’m finished yet 😁. These suggestions are so helpful and the shoes so lovely that even if I don’t wear them to the wedding necessarily, I’ll still wear them!
Please let’s not spoil the thread by falling out.
You are all amazing for taking the time to write to me xx

You can never have too many shoes (as my boyfriend NEVER says to me ... 😁!!).

Mylifesadrama · 26/02/2026 18:05

It’s 2026 what wrong with being taller than your husband. I’m taller than my husband. I still wore heels on our wedding day. No one bats an eyelid.

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