What on earth can I wear to a 40th? (Short and fat)

[ADress]

Lovely people who have helped me so often in the past… I’m in dire need.

I’m short, 5’3” and now probably more of a size 18 bottom half, large tummy but lacking those fabulous large boobs some people have to allow tops to skim their tummies. So somewhere 16-18 top half. Very short in the body. No waistline.

I’m late 40s and have completely blobbed out over the last eight months. Every part of me is flabby. I’ve no idea how to even begin to dress for my shape or look good.

But there’s a 40th I’ve been invited to next month and I don’t know what to wear. Smart casual. I want to look nice but not stand out. Low budget because I doubt I’ll need to wear these things again, but could spend a little for a decent pair of trousers and top of they are versatile.

The only thing I can think of which I own that still fits which may be of help is a pair of slim fit black jeans, but I don’t think they’re all that flattering. I don’t think anything is anymore!!

Any suggestions please?

You’re in your late 40s and you don’t think you’ll ever have reason to wear smart casual clothes again beyond this one party? Truly?

This top (available in plus sizes) could be great if the colour suits you, because it could be really easily dressed up with jewellery, and would go with pretty much any skirt or trousers or jeans.

https://shop.mango.com/gb/en/p/women/sweaters-and-cardigans/plus-sizes/v-neck-knit-sweater_27025835?c=28

These trousers would be excellent also - as a great co-ord set with the top, or with something else.

The nice thing is that they’re both simple pieces that would work for any environment dependent on your grooming and accessories.

Thanks for the posts @MsOtisReflects. The top looks like it would just cling to my spare tyres which would be awful.

Do you have the link for the trousers you’ve kindly mentioned?

I’m watching op as I’m in the same boat. I’ve trawled the entire internet and there is nothing that is the right style, colour or fabric. Designers just don’t acknowledge that short fat women might also want (and god forbid deserve) something stylish that flatters the body. It’s all horrific man made fibres and clown prints. I’ve resorted to buying dresses off vinted that I loved a few years ago and I’m trying to find them in bigger sizes.

my mother is in a similar position snd I’ve been looking for her. We are going to a wedding but Found some decent trouser suits on Amazon you could check out for starters
https://amzn.eu/d/0eveqc7Q

I agree OP!

Have a browse on Live Unlimited. Extra 20% off atm including sale. Lots of floaty tops, dresses etc. Some Petite items.

Oh, so sorry - it was these trousers!

https://shop.mango.com/gb/en/p/women/trousers/plus-sizes/high-waisted-lyocell-trousers27065964

(ETA I meant the Burnt Orange colour that goes with the top I linked above.)

But do scroll through the photos of both top and trousers to see them on a larger sized model.

And take a look at the rest of Mango’s plus sized collection, too. There may be something else that appeals.

(I’d advise sizing up if you want a more skimming effect. And also taking advantage of both lightweight shapewear and a good alterations service to get things tailored to fit perfectly.)

Is it definitely trousers you’d like @ADress ? And any colours you prefer?

This look of cropped trousers and a heel could work well asos trousers Ignore the tummy out top!

And a long line blazer with a pretty top under it

The Mango cream shirt would be fantastic for your shape as it gives a waist. It's worth trying on at least.

Have a look at M and S wide leg trousers.

I’m sure she will.. but currently just a bit under confident and needs a bit of a bolster up from us….lets help not hinder.

With a short body that means your legs are long @ADress
How about leather or leather look Spanx leggings tucked into black suede calf length boots with a heel and a fancy longer length top that hides your tum and bum ?

Never, ever, ever buy any garment with the intention of wearing it to ‘hide’ any part of your body. Because it will do nothing but draw attention to that fact.

@Gall10 - I really don’t need your help to engage in online S&B chat.

Absolutely agree about trying to hide bits.

What colours do you like? Short sleeved or covered arms?

I am around your age, and also short and plump. I like/suit jewel colours (I tend to purple, blue and teal/emerald green), prefer tops of arms to be covered, and something floatier to cover the midriff. I would probably start with having a google of "party tops" with size, colour and see what came back. Roman often have quite nice going out type stuff. Good luck

Presumably these two suggestions are either/or though? As a long blazer AND cropped trousers would just make everything look out of proportion/as if she's wearing someone else's hand me downs. OP would end up looking like one of fagin's orphans.

As a fellow shorty tbh I'd warn against wearing anything that's supposed to be oversized or cropped because they're usually designed for 5'10 models so just end up looking like our clothes don't fit properly.

When you say "low budget" what does that mean exactly op? Because to people on here it can mean "a top for about £50n jeans for another £50, £100 heels ("but they are TIMELESS and go with everything") oh and also shapewear and tailoring...." which soon adds up to a few hundred quid, which if you are thinking more £50 all in is no use to you. Also as a pp has said, why don't you think you'll ever have cause to wear vaguely smart clothes again? Is it because you're trying to lose weight or don't need to wear smart clothes to work or what? Relevant because people might suggest things you can re-wear/dress up and down for other occasions/daily wear.

I would avoid wide leg trousers. Do you have skinnier legs and carry weight on your body? If so is it worth considering a dress? Where is this party going to be held and is it day time or night time etc? Will it be a hotel/outdoor/hired pub etc? What are other people likely to wear? Do you feel comfortable wearing very dressy clothes or what do you feel comfy in usually? Can you get something plain and get it dressed up with glam accessories and get your hair professionally blow dried? What month will it be held (ie what will weather be like?)

You could buy a low key dress (no need to co ordinate a top/bottoms. Whatever you buy can be dressed up with dressy hair and make up and accessories.

I would book a styling session and try on everything they bring you. You don’t have to buy anything and it will take the pressure off and help you find stuff you wouldn’t usually consider.

Have a look in TU clothing. This one is quite nice and has a rushing to the side, and is not clingy.
tuclothing.sainsburys.co.uk/product/tuc147510662

Don’t do what I did and lose your receipt at TU clothing. The dress is still hanging in my hall as they told me to go and jump.

Op, I think there are some tall slims in here giving advice. I am similarly built and could not wear the sorts of things which have been suggested.

White Stuff has 20% off in case this is useful. After spending lot of cash on cheap clothes in Vinted and supermarkets, and having bulging drawers with nothing to wear, I am experimenting with capsule wardrobes and booking free appointments with John Lewis stylists to identify versatile pieces.

There are pieces you get lots of wear out of and lots of things you can waste cash on.

Yes…I know some of the wide and/or cropped trousers would look quite silly on me.

I’m personally a fan of my black slim leg jeans, I’d maybe try to find something like a jacket with a bit of structure so it’s not clingy to go with them. probably wouldn’t be ‘fashionable’ but looking good is mostly about finding something that suits (and fits!) you, not following trends.