What on earth can I wear to a 40th? (Short and fat)

[ADress]

Lovely people who have helped me so often in the past… I’m in dire need.

I’m short, 5’3” and now probably more of a size 18 bottom half, large tummy but lacking those fabulous large boobs some people have to allow tops to skim their tummies. So somewhere 16-18 top half. Very short in the body. No waistline.

I’m late 40s and have completely blobbed out over the last eight months. Every part of me is flabby. I’ve no idea how to even begin to dress for my shape or look good.

But there’s a 40th I’ve been invited to next month and I don’t know what to wear. Smart casual. I want to look nice but not stand out. Low budget because I doubt I’ll need to wear these things again, but could spend a little for a decent pair of trousers and top of they are versatile.

The only thing I can think of which I own that still fits which may be of help is a pair of slim fit black jeans, but I don’t think they’re all that flattering. I don’t think anything is anymore!!

Any suggestions please?

No, together, it’s the fashion, so will look modern! And neither item is extreme. Heels with it too

I am the same build, but shorter so I buy petite which does fit better.

I thought OP meant that she didn't think she would stay this shape/size long term, rather than never have the opportunity to dress up again?

@ADress You've mentioned everything that you feel bad about (which I get, as I too have put on weight lately & some of my failsafes no longer fit). And nothing else about your appearance - so some clues as to your looks & style would help!

• What's your colouring? Hair/eyes/skin tone - warm or cool? What's your hairstyle?
• What style of clothing do you veer towards (when you're feeling good about yourself)? Minimal or decorative, darks or brights, floral/graphic patterns or plains, dresses or separates etc?
• Do you have decent footwear/jewellery/bags/coats or jackets already? If so, what kind? Are you ok with (non-stratospheric) heels, or flats only?
• Are you ok with buying from Vinted/eBay if you know & like a make & its sizing, or have tried something on already but can find it cheaper secondhand?

I would go for a dress, in a simple loose-ish but flattering cut, in a favourite colour - with perhaps a really great pattern. Or instead a similar dress in black/navy/burgundy, & instead focus colour/pattern in a lightweight kimono jacket or similar on top. Pay attention to your hair/make-up/perfume - wear eye-catching earrings/bracelets - & wear lovely knee-high boots (if you have some?!!).

That style of dressing will lengthen you, rule out faffing around with different tops/skirts/trousers, skim over not cut into the squidgy bits, be comfortable to wear - & as a result you'll feel better & more confident & relaxed. The last thing you want is to worry about bulging bits or tucking things in or how tight your waistband is ...!!!

And finally, what does "low budget" but you could "spend a little" (if the outfit is versatile enough to wear again) mean? Is, say, £100 too high (excluding footwear etc)? And do you mean that you'd spend more than that (ie whatever you consider to be low budget) - if it's something you'd wear often afterwards?

What about a co-ord with some heels or boots?
not saying this one particularly if you don’t like print, but with some jewellery etc
https://www.asos.com/us/only-curve/only-curve-plisse-top-and-plisse-wide-leg-pants-set-in-black-abstract-print/grp/210607914

I also like other people’s suggestions of jeans (maybe a skinnier fit) top, boots and a blazer. You could think about black top, black jeans and boots to give a bit of a colour block and then a patterned blazer?

I find this style of dress flattering for a tummy. If you don't like this one, Google twist front dress or knot front dress.
https://share.google/5dXpu5UL9yf1KDVW4

I definitely think this is the way to go, @ADress or something similar.

Do not do this thing

Short blob here 👋 (5 foot and a fart, size 20 but boobs disappointingly small), mid 40s.

Find a colour you love and that suits you (mine are jewel colours. And black. All the black).

Accept that you’ll need to compromise somewhere along the line (I’ve got to the point where I’m not bothered if my lower half doesn’t look great, as long as the tops of my arms are covered, and I’m in a top I love, with an unusual and eye catching necklace or other piece of jewellery. And great shoes).

Get a good bra.

Don’t be afraid of loud / colourful patterns.

remember that if you’re at someone else’s birthday party, most people aren’t going to be looking at you, there’s no pressure to be the star of the show.

If you wear makeup, treat yourself to an expensive lipstick or eyeshadow pallet. Enjoy the process of getting ready.

All excellent advice - & I say that at 5' 9-10" ish size 16 with perky boobs 😁!!! So quite universal really!!!

Christ no - that's an abomination! I try to be mostly polite on these threads, but really??!

Hi OP, I’m 5’2”, and wear a size 18/20. Carry all my weight in my middle so constantly battle to find anything to fit. I find dresses are most flattering on me. A midi dress is usually a maxi length which suits me. I also suit tea length. I really like the patterns at scamp and dude. I know you want something to blend in a bit but I get so many compliments when I wear my dresses from there. Some are more subtle than others 😂 they can also be dressed up or down so loads of scope to rewear. Plenty on Vinted as well if you don’t want to pay full price.

Agree that ruching/knotting/draping is good, though that fabric looks a bit shiny & a longer length would be better IMO.

@ADress do not do the hideous phase 8 dress. It’s shiny, it’s an odd length, it’s really frumpy. I’m an Apple shape and it’s tricky to find stuff that works when you don’t have a waist. I follow a woman called Erica on instagram and she is an Apple shaped, high street fashion influencer, so the stuff she wears is really easy to get ideas from. It’s so much easier to imagine how something might look on you if you are looking at the same body type rather than some size 6, 5 foot 10 19 year old model. The account is hiericasuckow.

I think the knot front dresses actually highlight a stomach and draw attention to the area. It's not the most flattering for a bigger stomach and can sometimes make you look pregnant.

@AStitchInTimeSavesN1ne I'm not sure if I'm qualified to give any advice to the OP - as I am (was) a "tall slim" & now feel that I'm a weird lurker! Are the tall slims a different species? Menopause & greed have put firmly paid to the slim part though, & I'm not sure if it's ever coming back ...!! 😁

@ADress I'm a decade older than you - & I would be crying in despair right now at the thought of wearing a few of the outfits suggested on here ... I wish I hadn't clicked on the links tbh ...

... but why the hell would any late-40s woman (in fact, anyone of any age!), who was feeling overweight & underconfident & wanted to feel & look good on a night out, wear these????

(Unless I've misunderstood your original post, & you want to look like a walking Bridget Riley painting, or someone who aspires to own both a hostess trolley & a Teasmade?)

I do quite like knot/wrap dresses generally - especially if asymmetrical. Knee-length will make the OP look shorter & wider though. And because the hem isn't one length (to save money in the manufacturing process), it looks as if the dress is being sucked in through the model's belly button ...

A shift dress is your friend or a pencil skirt and crisp shirt over.

Shift dresses & pencil skirts are fitted at the waist. If you're overweight but an hourglass shape, they can work well. However, the OP doesn't have a waistline, has a large tummy & spare tyres - & understandably doesn't want her outfit to highlight/cut into/squash those parts of her body she's least comfortable about.

I swear that garments labelled "Curve" and similar are designed to make people look bigger.

Petite length trousers on the high street I've found that work well - Next, m+s, nutmeg at Morrisons (really!).

I'd go for a pair of them and pair them with an old favourite top in a colour that really works for you. (If you don't have one, look for new!) I like simple one colour tops.

Pair with some classic jewellery eg: silver hoops, same colour necklace and a classic bag.

As a fellow ectomorph I say the shift dresses or a knee lengthish dress suit me. Wide trousers, dresses with knots around the stomach etc just don’t work for short & wider people. But we still don’t know what sort of place she is going to or where the party will be held anyway. New trousers bring decisions about shoes, lengths, dressmakers, belts, tops which work. A midi dress or knee length dress will be nice and easy. Whistles is doing a petite range of jumpsuit type things which are dressy.

I agree these outfits above are er.. unusual.

I’d suggest plain outfit (maybe best dark neutral for you same colour top and bottom), shoes that you feel comfortable in then something to make it pop a bit - I always like those 100 stars kimono jackets or maybe a blazer. Some jewellery that suits you - some people work with dainty, some suit big statement stuff, whatever works for you best. Small bag - Zara had some nice ones in as did H&M.

that’s my outfit formula for stuff like this when you may not wear it loads so you feel out of your comfort zone. It’s not cutting edge and it re-centres comfort but in a pulled together way. I got my best ever outfit for this from a mix of H&M, M&S and Next - no one piece cost more than 40 quid and I could wear all the bits separately too. The accessories and make up/hair is what elevates it.

As a 4’ 10” size 16-18, I would lean into kimono style dresses or a dress with a kimono style jacket over it. Better than chopping up a short body with waistband and looks more put together.

One Hundred Stars are good or Tallulah & Hope. But depends on how flamboyant you want to be. Have a look on Vinted if too £££ new.

I also have a great Toast dress, think it’s the ‘Bryn’ style, that they do variations of every year. It skims the parts I would like to be smaller and makes me look a bit taller.

https://onehundredstars.co.uk/

https://tallulahandhope.com/collections/dresses

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su576647/ap0612?gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22747671005&gclid=CjwKCAiA2PrMBhA4EiwAwpHyC3WGrCD_3d53pTnnD1UA2ExbBAa5T48PU-AD05BGE9RAH8IjezGSfxoC0XAQAvD_BwE

Would something like this work?