Too sexy for a funeral?

[Trainup]

My friend thinks the outfit I’m planning to wear to a close family member’s funeral is ‘too sexy’. It’s a fitted (but not tight) black velvet dress, high neck and knee length. Thin black tights and ankle boots with a mid block heel. I have literally no skin on show except my hands and face.

I haven’t been to a funeral in a long time. Is she right? Should I dress down a bit? If so, what type of thing is appropriate?

I mean it sounds fine from your description but I would be concerned if a normally sensible friend thought it was too sexy unless she is very puritanical in her style.

Depends on the person and type of guests. To be honest your outfit sounds quite try hard, more like what you would see on an American tv programme. Here people tend to dress down a bit more, business dress potentially or think knitted fabric, stretch cotton type dresses trousers and a jumper. Plain black isn’t that common either. Never seen velvet and I organise funerals. Ultimately if it’s a close relative then run it past the person organising if you’re concerned, if it’s a lesser connection I’d tone it down a bit which is what your friend is suggesting

Velvet is very much partywear. That's what makes it sound quite odd as a choice to me. But not inappropriate. You might well just be really overdressed compared to others which only matters if that would bother you.

Fitted black velvet could look a little dramatic/OTT, but not sexy as such.

Who is the deceased? Would they have appreciated you making the effort? If so, sod what your friend thinks. I mean, maybe just sod what your friend thinks anyway!

Would you wear it to an interview? If not, then maybe try something else.

Bit hard without seeing it

Do you have a pic?

Do you trust this friend's judgment. I have some friends whom I would trust if they said something like this to me but then do you have something else to wear?

It’s very similar to this (please ignore leggy model.. it sits on my knee as I am v short!)

You said knee length. Is it actually longer on you than this model?

edit: sorry just noticed you had written above the image! I’d say it’s fine tbh!

Yes. I am at least a foot shorter than her.

Mmmm depends. But too fitted and velvet is party wear maybe. Do you trust your friend’s judgment normally?

What are you wearing over it?

Looks like a party dress to me. Not outrageous for a funeral but not a funeral outfit.

As a fellow shortie, i don’t think that would look like party wear on you just for being velvet. It would absolutely fine with the black tights you plan to wear.

I think it’s absolutely fine, knee length. In fact winter warm, covered. No one will be looking at you. 🤷‍♀️

I would dress it down with thick black tights rather than thin and a simple hairstyle, minimal jewellery.

I think it looks absolutely fine and appropriate for a funeral. I've been to three funerals in recent months and have seen a lot of different outfits!

Yes, opaques will make it much less 'party'

I would wear opaque black tights, not sheer.

It’s fine!

That’s a party dress. Not at all appropriate for a funeral.

If you're close family of the deceased then wear whatever you like

If you're further removed then wear something that would be suitable for work. This dress is more suited to a Christmas party.

I think as it’s longer on you it will be absolutely fine.

I can honestly say that I could not tell you what one single person wore to my sister’s funeral. I was just glad so many people made the effort to come to give her a descent sent off, whether they turned up in their most comfortable jeans or beach wear

This. The advice upthread about if you wouldn't wear it to an interview you shouldn't wear it to a funeral is spot on. And unless it was for an interview to be a party planner this would not fit that bill.