My fellow women with chin hairs, how to you feel about your romantic partner seeing your chin hairs ?

[MomWithChinHairs]

I'm the one who made that other post about chin hairs. There is something I which I had asked in that post.

My husband is the one who told me about women started to get those in their 40s (according to answers in the other post it can happen much earlier). My husband said I'm gorgeous and that the chin hairs don't bother them. That it's normal and feminine. He has offered to pluck them for me if I'm having trouble.

I'm 41. My husband and I have been married since we were both 22. He has seen me give birth. He seem me when I had the pregnancy weight gain. He has seen me sick with colds and flus.

After all that, I'm hit with chin hairs and my confidence is dead around my own husband. My husband who looks very young and who is intimidatingly gorgeous. I love him and he loves me. But I'm so shy about my chin hairs.

Why are you fixating on chin hairs so much OP? They're a nothing, a very common thing to happen to women.

Men don't give a shit about stuff like that.

I know it sounds so silly. One part why it's bothering me is because of how mentally unprepared I was for it. I know I was going to get this wrinkles and age spots and saggy. But the chin hairs was not something I knew was a thing until this year.

It affects me that it makes me feel so unfeminine. Sorry for clinging on gender stereotypes but I'm just being honest about how I feel.

There is a market dedicated to this stuff. Go for the treatment that stops/slow growth or shave them off. Just see it as one of those beauty routines we do to make us feel how we want.

There's no point in letting it batter you down mentally.

Pcos peri woman here. I've had to deal with these little bastards since teens.

Every day I would sit in front of my mirror and gurn my face to catch the light and catch them. Some were obvious, some not.

The very first hair was noticed by my first boyfriend who screamed "WHATS THAT???!!!" like it was the most hideous thing he had ever seen. So I immediately got VERY sensitive about them.

Then my next boyfriend (who was awful and had an affair) told his affair partner that I was a "fat bearded bitch". So men do care. They care very much.

I look for them and pluck them every single day.

Having said that, my husband is very accepting of me. I am writing this with armpits I haven't touched for 3 years and my leg hair is darker than his.

I wax the leg hair every now and again but the armpits I won't ever shave ever again. The chin hairs are still an extremely sensitive subject for me though. Hard to break that habit after the way I've been treat.

My advice is pluck them if you want to be rid of them or as someone else said, electrolysis. Or just embrace them.

I'm just having a hard time accepting that I'm looking older.

Get them electrolysed off and get a Philips Lumea to zap the rest of them.

I've had a hairy chin since my late 20s. Many partners in that time have seen my hairs, family and colleagues too, as I'm pretty lax with getting them ripped out.
Most people generally don't notice them, or are too polite to mention.
I also like the idea of normalising them for my younger nieces and nephews.

You do need to chill out about them. The hairs will keep on coming so just get a good pair of tweezers. The average man really doesn't care or notice.

Maybe it's because of why I live. I have to ask these questions because nobody around me (except my husband) talks about this stuff.

I'm extremely sorry you went through those horrible experiences. I'll glad you're a much better place now.

I've had them since I was a teen. I'll pluck them in front of my husband, I don't care and neither does he.

I used to get a few that would regularly come through ingrown and give me spots, but the Lumea stopped that happening.

You didn’t know about menopause / perimenopause until your husband told you? Surely you see other people with chin hairs?

I get one chin hair in the exact same spot - just under my chin in the dead centre.

I've been getting it since i was early 20s. I feel it starting and get a frisson of excitement to be honest because i love a pick or a pluck or a squeeze of something! I race for the tweezers and pluck the bugger. It takes about 2 months to reappear.
<waits>

DH is too wrapped up in his own struggles (thinning hair on head, increase of hair in nose) to take any notice of my one problem hair.

I have pretty much a beard if I let it grow (I assume, I never have). PCOS so I’ve had a hairy throat and face since my late 20s. I shave twice a day and would thoroughly recommend the Phillips Lumea though mine is currently broken. Two years with that and I was only shaving once a day and could miss the odd day as well. Facial hair is a whole other ball game - the hair on my toes, feet, legs and underarms has never come back as much after the Lumea, but facial hair you have to keep going for years, maybe forever.

I don’t like my partner seeing it, no.

They do just appear randomly but as others have said you can easily remove them so what's the problem?

On the other hand, older men seem to grow great thickets of hair in their ears and don't seem too bothered about it!

I'm like you OP. I've been married 27 years but still choose to try to hide facial hair removal from my DH.

I think I'm just very private. I'm sure my DH is aware of the occasional hair that emerges before I've zapped it, and of the secret zapping that goes on but he's gentlemanly enough never to refer to it.

Not all relationships have to be the reveal everything nothing is private type that seems to be mostly promoted as 'healthy' on mumsnet.

I know about menopause. I know about perimenopause but not as much as I know about menopause. The classic image with menopause is hot flashes, night sweats, and weight gain.

I have never seen a chin hair on my friends. I have never seen a chin hair on any woman in the neighborhood. I haven't seen any on any of my daughter's female teachers. Not on any female family members. If any woman around me is getting them, she's hiding it well.

I have one little neck/chin hair that randomly appears every so often and I pluck it out! I shave my tash off every 3 days or so however…
DH wouldn’t notice unless I grew a full beard 🤣
Sounds as though you’ve got some ‘stuff’ that’s hardwired around femininity and what’s attractive that you need to think about and decide what is driving that

I also recommend the lumea. It has hugely reduced facial and body hair growth for me.

I've had these for years (pcos). I just asked DH to tell me if he spots one. I don't care if he sees them, but I don't want to go on a night out with a big one I haven't spotted!* But he's never yet pointed one out. I think he's just oblivious. If he saw it I think he would say, because he knows I don't want to go out and about with chin hairs, and he's got my back. But it wouldn't change how he feels about me, because it's me he loves, not my smooth chin.

• kudos to the women who don't care about this. I admire that.

Thank you. That's comforting to hear. I believe my husband's love and his words. The thing that freaked me out and caused me to make 2 threads is yesterday my husband kissed my chin where I chin hair was. He didn't care but I felt mortified.

What makes the whole thing worse is how much younger my husband looks. How his body seems to still be in it's peak. I feel like an old lady.

Just strange that your husband had to tell you that women get chin hairs. Maybe you should look into it so you understand what is happening to your body.

I'm not sure why people feel the need to be scornful of the OP?
Is she not aging in the prescribed correct manner of knowing everything, not giving a damn, and broadcasting it?

This is just another new way to attack women.

We can't win. Either we're not feminine enough or we're trying to hard to be feminine.

How about just letting women feel how they want to about their bodies without judgement?

I've been dealing with this since I was a teenager - thick, dark hairs on pale skin! When I was younger I used to pluck, then wax when there got too many to pluck. Now there are too many to wax, and I don't like waiting until they are long enough, so I got a little shaver specifically for this purpose, and shave twice a day. My husband is very aware, but we both keep up the pretence that I am naturally hairless 😅.

I am in constant conflict between my feminist ideals and my socially-constructed embarassment over this. I feel unfeminine and ashamed of my chin (and neck!) hairs, while at the same time realising that it is completely normal and natural.

Honestly, we women (especially as we get older) can't win. We are taught to hate our bodies so we can buy stuff to make us "better" females. Fuck the patriarchy!

I've had them since my early 20's. A lot of them, a beard really. It takes a good 20 minutes every day to pluck them out.

I've always been utterly paranoid about romantic partners seeing them. I used to worry about being ill in hospital and growing a bushy beard. My husband doesn't even know about my chin hair struggles!

I still don't know why I have them. I don't have PCOS. I was told by an Endocrinologist I probably had Greek or Turkish genes and just had to put up with it. When I did a DNA test this was not the case.