I need a whole make over prompted by a neighbour.

[fishtank12345]

Hello

I am 40, I look crap now due to daily stress (autistic kids) and chronic illness (cfs mainly )

Neighbour had not seen me in a while as we are out at different times and straight away said I Iooked pale, and I did look like crap as I had not worn much make up as I was just too exhausted and tired and stress.

I am working on my diet now, have about 3 st to lose. I am an apple shape so its all belly.

I look pale and worn out, my eyelids have drooped it seems giving me a tired look, my exterior used to not match how I was feeling inside as much.

I need the belly gone, I am growing my grey hair out as I cant cope with colouring (chemical sensitivity) and I know I need to get to the hairdresser as I cant have it past shoulder without it looking bedraggled lol, need a few inches off.

Dd12 also thinks I look crap and I have been hearing that for a while she said I should get a fringe but I cant probably style it every day.

Need a low maintenance cut that's shoulder length, even then I have no idea how to wear my hair so I wear it up or stick a headband on, which I don't think I suit anymore.

I don't even know how to dress anymore either as I love jersey dresses for daily wear but tights are uncomfy around my belly, so I end up in leggings which don't flatter me as they are baggy around the ankles as I have thin legs but need buy a 20 for the belly.

Make up, I have always been crap at, I buy one of the lightest shades as I am pale naturally, but I just look washed out now and with black under eye bags due to exhaustion. I have never been good at eye make up and my lashes look non existent due to the fact they are thin and short and straight but my eyes look bald lol

So I need comfy but still cute clothing and make up ideas I guess.

Any tips most welcome. Thank you.

The game changer for me has been to cut my own hair. I trim my fringe every 3 weeks. Trim the lengths every 2 months. Thin ny hair every 4 months. I bought a set on ebay c £15. Trimming scissors plus thinning scissors.

My hair is naturally curly though so can withstand any wonky cutting.

I always wear foundation or I look ghostly pale plus a little blusher.

I've never got on with Simple moisturiser, so I'd look into another one. Found Superdrug Vitamin E a very good basic one, or Cetaphil (more expensive but bigger bottle so still good VFM). Rather than foundation could you try concealer? Maybelline Eraser is good for getting all those bigger patches, and might make your make up feel a bit fresher.

Which colour conditioner do you use @EnchantingDecoration?

I think you're right about YT tutorials. They're complicated and clearly just promotional most of the time.

In your shoes, I'd go for a proper bra fitting.
I'd buy and use a lovely perfume - you can buy tiny bottles online to try them out. It will boost your spirits.
I'd invest in a cleanser and moisturizer from the same brand - Clarins is reasonably priced. I have a lovely Lancome 'hydra zen' moisturizer. It gives a subtle glow. Get a gel blush.

Start eating more veg and fruit and cut back on processed snacks. If you have 15 minutes to yourself in a day, do some meditation or gentle yoga.

This one. It doesn't do much straight away (well maybe if you left it on for ages) but I have been using it as my regular conditioner for several months and leave it for a couple of minutes each wash and it has gradually toned my greys right in, they aren't completely covered but far less noticeable in my very dark hair. I only have a little cluster of greys at the parting and some scattered elsewhere though, not huge numbers.

Superdrug Colour Effects Rich Warm Brown 4 Toner 75ml https://www.superdrug.com/hair/hair-colourants/hair-toner/superdrug-colour-effects-rich-warm-brown-4-toner-75ml/p/843373

Edited to add - it's a tiny bottle but you don't need much at a time, I use a lot less than ordinary conditioner.

Foundation tends to become too much for your skin as you age and you’re better off focusing on the condition of your skin and just using a tinted moisturizer rather than a thicker foundation. A little mascara, a cream blush and a natural tinted lip is enough to keep me looking fresh.

I have found Paula’s choice exfoliater a complete game changer for me.

Also had my eyebrows micro bladed and it has really lifted my face. Scraggly eyebrows can make you look unkempt.

I also suggest keeping your wardrobe simple. Throw away things you will not wear and focus on keeping the things you know suit you. If you get dressed for the day and feel good, take a photo and store it to an album on your phone. Makes for easy reference when you are looking for something to wear if you can flip through some photos where you know you were happy.
Good luck OP

Foundation tends to become too much for your skin as you age and you’re better off focusing on the condition of your skin and just using a tinted moisturizer rather than a thicker foundation. A little mascara, a cream blush and a natural tinted lip is enough to keep me looking fresh.

She's 40! She's not old at all.

My mum is in her 90s and still uses foundation but the right sort which is very light coverage.

Most foundation now is NOT thick- there are loads that are light, dewy, barely cover etc.

Clarins is very expensive. And highly fragranced.

I started using Clarins 40 years ago and stopped because it's not worth the cost and it all hype (IMO).

I buy an unperfumed supermarket make up remover milk for £3 and it works really well.

You can get just as good face stuff by L'Oreal, Olay, Boots No 7 .

No need to shout!

The OP is complaining about cakey foundation and a whole host of other things which would suggest her skin isn’t in the best condition. No foundation is going to look good if the base laser is poor. If you read my post you will see that I suggest she focuses on the condition of her skin which is good advice for anyone of any age. If your skin is in good condition you may find that foundation is not necessary and all you need is a tint which is easier to apply and a lot less fuss for day to day wear.

This seems like sound advice to me but each to their own.

I wasn't shouting. I said 40 was not old.
I agree, good skin is important.

There are excellent foundations that give more coverage than a tint but aren't thick.

Boots No 7 Hydraluminous - just a bit more than a tint.
Clinique CC - cream