I need a whole make over prompted by a neighbour.

[fishtank12345]

Hello

I am 40, I look crap now due to daily stress (autistic kids) and chronic illness (cfs mainly )

Neighbour had not seen me in a while as we are out at different times and straight away said I Iooked pale, and I did look like crap as I had not worn much make up as I was just too exhausted and tired and stress.

I am working on my diet now, have about 3 st to lose. I am an apple shape so its all belly.

I look pale and worn out, my eyelids have drooped it seems giving me a tired look, my exterior used to not match how I was feeling inside as much.

I need the belly gone, I am growing my grey hair out as I cant cope with colouring (chemical sensitivity) and I know I need to get to the hairdresser as I cant have it past shoulder without it looking bedraggled lol, need a few inches off.

Dd12 also thinks I look crap and I have been hearing that for a while she said I should get a fringe but I cant probably style it every day.

Need a low maintenance cut that's shoulder length, even then I have no idea how to wear my hair so I wear it up or stick a headband on, which I don't think I suit anymore.

I don't even know how to dress anymore either as I love jersey dresses for daily wear but tights are uncomfy around my belly, so I end up in leggings which don't flatter me as they are baggy around the ankles as I have thin legs but need buy a 20 for the belly.

Make up, I have always been crap at, I buy one of the lightest shades as I am pale naturally, but I just look washed out now and with black under eye bags due to exhaustion. I have never been good at eye make up and my lashes look non existent due to the fact they are thin and short and straight but my eyes look bald lol

So I need comfy but still cute clothing and make up ideas I guess.

Any tips most welcome. Thank you.

A lot of other posters have covered skin care and general health tips. I'd add in go for a tinted chemical sunscreen because they're more glowy and forgiving when your skin isn't in the best shape, I prefer mineral based ones but they're a bit harder to spread and can show more on dry patches. Eucerin and CeraVe make good ones.

Stress management is key for you. Some kind of mindfulness practice, daily activity, progressive muscle relaxation, maybe go for a massage a couple times a month or the occasional spa day.

As well as lots of good advice above, I find a quick swish of a suitable blusher lifts me no end and a lip stain (nothing too out there). Good luck.

If I wasn't 43 I'd think I'd written this post in my sleep!

As recommended earlier, I have fallen in love with Erborian CC cream - I can't use any of the foundations that use to work for me and it seems to have come on during peri. I also use their CC eye cream. It takes a few seconds to apply which also means I'm much more likely to use it everyday.

As I have no patience with a complicated routine, I also wash my face at night with the Erborian charcoal face soap and then their Centella cream. Yes, I have fallen in love with their products!

As others have said, I can't wear black or navy next to my face - strong, bright colours make me look so much less like the walking dead (also applies to glasses, if you wear them).

My hair is very wavy, but I do have a fringe cut in and if I straighten it gently just after washing (so not the highest temp), it stays styled until next wash day most of the time, cause I wouldn't have the patience to do it every morning either.

Please ignore all the advice to drink more water. You should only drink enough to stop you from being thirsty. It doesn't even have to be water , tea, coffee and soft drinks all count.

You can overdose on water and that's not pleasant as it involves actrip to the hospital.

If you do get a fringe you can spray it with dry shampoo to quickly refresh it without too much bother

Snag tights are worth a look.

A face tan mist makes all the difference if you have a pale complexion, I use this one https://utan.co.uk/products/new-coconut-tanning-water-face-1?variant=55094462185852

I'm nearly 50 and the two things that have really improved my looks are

(a) Skincare. Honestly revolutionary. I started with just cleansing, toning, using a 3 in 1 serum and moisturising and SPFing and now have many steps that I won't trouble you with but would recommend that you consider a retinol or retinal serum in the evening and a vitamin c serum in the morning* (if *you think your skin can take it - you'll need to work up to daily use and always wear an SPF outside if you use retinol/retinal!). I promise that within a month of starting this, and wearing no make-up, people were commenting on how great my skin looked and asking what I had done.

(b) Hair. I have gone very grey and was trying to grow out a big horizontal line in my hair between the dye and the grey. My hairdresser and I experimented with trying to run lowlights in the dye colour through the grey to even it out a bit but when that was only mildly successful we decided to embrace the grey and ran grey/blonde streaks through the dyed half instead. Absolutely love it and cannot wait for all of my hair to be grey now.

Clothes: I love a Molke bra for comfort!

Snag tights are super comfy for any size or shape.

Me too going to be doing this too.

Was in boots and have new make up now. Need a bigger make up bag now, have one I think somewhere.

I know exactly how you feel! I’m in the same boat at the moment. I’ve recently had a baby and I’m just let my looks really slide, I’ve put on weight, wear scruffy clothes, the grey is shocking, I’m using cheap make up too and my skin routine is now a shambles but I feel like I’m going to try and get myself back on the lead up to Christmas!
My plan:
stop eating crap ha ha
drink water
get a couple of decent nice outfits for every day
dye my sodding hair
get a simple cut to smarten it up
skin routine including wash, tone, moisturize

i hope it’s giving you food for thought and is helpful a bit! Xx

Absolutely loving this thread, thank you, we can do it. Appreciate all the replies. Reading every single one and taking notes... maybe a fringe is doable...

😏 I’d never be out of A&E if your bizarre claim was remotely true.

No ones advocating to drink endless amounts, just make sure to be drinking plenty. Water aids digestion, energy, skin health and promotes good kidney function. I can only imagine how dull you skin must be and fatigued you feel if you’re only drinking to avoid thirst. 🙄

If you dont enjoy putting on makeup maybe getting your eyebrows shaped and tinted and an eyelash tint or LVL could work for you. Only needs to be done every couple of weeks and it always helps me feel "put together" even when im not.
You probably need a more nourishing but lightweight moisturiser for during the day and I know lots of people rave about the ordinary products and they are quite reasonable in price.
For makeup to help with dark circles would you be best off going for a skin tint/tinted moisturiser type if you find other makeup a bit cakey? There are lots of good ones but they may not totally hide your dark circles, maybe get shade matched at your local boots/pharmacy for something affordable. For what it's worth i find loreal foundation drying on my skin, however I think they may have a skin tint now too which i haven't tried yet.

Also just want to add ageing is such a privilege denied to so many, I am sure you are beautiful. In my eyes there is nothing more beautiful than a few lines here and there to show years of laughter and life and regular normal skin often looks so much more beautiful than heavy makeup, especially when skin is well hydrated. Check with your doctor first but sometimes taking omega 3 supplements can really help with hydration xx

Depending on your natural hair colour, you could use a herbal hair colour. I have a sensitivity to dyes and so use henna, but there are other dyes available. Look on Renaissance Henna (not just henna).

I too look ill and exhausted without make up. I second the exfoliation, and I also suggest a bit of experimentation with moisturisers. You don’t have to go expensive. Just try some to see what suits your skin type. Don’t forget undereye creams. Olay do a good one in a red tube with a silver ball at the end.

Try a BB cream instead of foundation, or a serum foundation. Revolution Skin Silk is a good one and not pricey. I went a shade darker than I would have normally and it made me look less of a zombie.

Bronzer is good, but blush is crucial. Again, no need to go expensive. Revolution do sets of 8, some peachy based, some pink.

Fill in/shape your eyebrows with a micro-pencil. It gives an even finished look. Eyeshadow is good, and obviously a bit of lippy. MUA do some fab slim stick ones that are moisturising.

Keep everything subtle at first and gradually add in products and perfect your look.

I'm going to say work on your diet. Make up is great but you need to fix the basics first and good skin comes from what you eat.

I don't think anyone has mentioned wearing SPF every day.

If you don't want a very wrinkled face by 60, use spf 50 every day on top of your moisturiser every day not just when it's sunny.

No idea what you eat but the best foods for skin are -

• Oily fish (salmon or tinned sardines, at least 2 x a week)
• Avocado- 3 a week
• Nuts- almonds and walnuts- every day (I eat almond butter.)
• Green veg- kale, broccoli, sprouts, cabbage
• Full fat plain yogurt or kefir (for gut health)

Add in as much fruit and veg as you can but if you're trying to lose weight avoid the really sugary foods like grapes and melon.

I'd also re-think the going grey. I know lots of women on MN swear by 'going grey' but I do think it's ageing for most of us.

I'm a young-looking 60+ and have low lights every 3 months, sometimes just down the T section (my parting.) My natural colour is dark blonde and the colour I have done is the same. I'm 50% grey without the colour!

I'm no expert and I can't afford high end stuff, but I use Soap and Glory Speed Plump moisturiser, which I find brilliant, every day without fail.
When I need to try and feel a bit better about myself (I generally CBA with much make up) I use Revolution Pore Blur primer, and Maybelline Sky High Mascara (I have all the colours 😂) and a tinted lip balm.
I find a nice body spray scent makes me feel uplifted when I leave the house - I like the watermelon one by Revolution.
I wear casual / comfy clothes a lot of the time due to the nature of my job. I like accessories though 😁 I like sparkly or colourful earrings and that makes me feel good too when I have a fave pair in. And I have quite a collection of shoes... So even when it's a joggers and baggy jumper day, I have an array of trainers to chose from and that also makes me happy!
I often look in the mirror and think ooof I'm looking old, but a few little tweaks has me feeling better before I leave the house 🙂

Looking at your name, perhaps your nuts are too salty? We survived for years by only drinking when we were thirsty (playground water fountain, etc) so as long as your diet is good......

The amount of water we need unless exercising or it's very hot weather is 1.5- 2 litres a day.

That includes water in tea, coffee, etc and soups

There is no benefit from drinking gallons. It only makes the kidneys work overtime.

@fishtank12345 This is going to make me sound very cheap but have you got a Home Bargains near you?
They stock a brand called glow which I really like.
The Glycolic facial scrub is really nice, and the body butter smells great- I like the yellow one. I think you are more likely to use something if it smells nice.
(word of warning though- for the body butter check that it has not been opened and "tested" by someone.

Sounds like you've got a lot on OP.

You've not mentioned a budget, but if it allows,

Go to the no7 counter and get a primer and then ask them to do a skin match on a foundation.

Go to the hair dressers and get 3 inches cut of your hair. I recently bought a hot brush which massively improved the look of my hair when drying at home, gives it more ot a salon look.

I would also buy a decent pair of shoes, like a pair of ankle boots that will go with everything, a decent coat and a nice scarf to add some colour.

I always feel better for an eyebrow wax too.

Tropic foundation is fabulous! Ive tried a lot!

Just had hair done today much better now. She cut a few inches off, lots of long layers, added a wispy fringe but it turned more into a curtain style fringe. Its nice.

New make up on today had made a big difference too. I look better.

Continuing to work on my diet and water too.

Even if you don't want to pay for a hair colour at the hairdressers you could try a temporary wash-in colour and see if you like it?

I’m similar to you OP. I’m trying to give myself a makeover as I have young children and have neglected myself. There are lots of tutorials on YouTube as mentioned. For skincare I’d recommend Dr Dray’s channel on YouTube. She’s a dermatologist and has lots of useful videos for skincare on a budget.

Bets of luck!