I need a whole make over prompted by a neighbour.

[fishtank12345]

Hello

I am 40, I look crap now due to daily stress (autistic kids) and chronic illness (cfs mainly )

Neighbour had not seen me in a while as we are out at different times and straight away said I Iooked pale, and I did look like crap as I had not worn much make up as I was just too exhausted and tired and stress.

I am working on my diet now, have about 3 st to lose. I am an apple shape so its all belly.

I look pale and worn out, my eyelids have drooped it seems giving me a tired look, my exterior used to not match how I was feeling inside as much.

I need the belly gone, I am growing my grey hair out as I cant cope with colouring (chemical sensitivity) and I know I need to get to the hairdresser as I cant have it past shoulder without it looking bedraggled lol, need a few inches off.

Dd12 also thinks I look crap and I have been hearing that for a while she said I should get a fringe but I cant probably style it every day.

Need a low maintenance cut that's shoulder length, even then I have no idea how to wear my hair so I wear it up or stick a headband on, which I don't think I suit anymore.

I don't even know how to dress anymore either as I love jersey dresses for daily wear but tights are uncomfy around my belly, so I end up in leggings which don't flatter me as they are baggy around the ankles as I have thin legs but need buy a 20 for the belly.

Make up, I have always been crap at, I buy one of the lightest shades as I am pale naturally, but I just look washed out now and with black under eye bags due to exhaustion. I have never been good at eye make up and my lashes look non existent due to the fact they are thin and short and straight but my eyes look bald lol

So I need comfy but still cute clothing and make up ideas I guess.

Any tips most welcome. Thank you.

Check out Snag tights online, you'll definitely find something to fit properly there.

If you’ve not got a lot of time then it’s a good idea to embrace the grey - I just need to have mine cut every 4 months and that’s it!
You’ve made a start by deciding to get fitter; get some advice on which clothes suit you and trade some on vinted when you can do. If there’s any spare cash then think about treating yourself first of all.

Tell your DD to stop being so rude as well.

Try snag tights, they come in multiple sizes and lengths and everyone who wears them raves about how comfy and well fitting they are. I look ill without make up even if I’m feeling great, just a bit of blush and mascara in my case makes the world of difference.

https://www.boots.com/no7-hydraluminous-plus-dual-phase-mask-100ml-10333893?srsltid=AfmBOoog8_vPaEj2U2l6ACcaXegDoqLnzGZ8gegJx9korwUnXDEcqWp5

I definitely recommend this face mask for a quick fix. I wack it on after my morning shower sometimes, go about making my morning coffee, then wash it off. No massive amount of time needed and it really does work straight away.

I also recommend the same no7 moisturising foundation.

https://www.boots.com/no7-hydraluminous-moisturising-foundation-10262468?srsltid=AfmBOoq1ZutsTRf2uHw10PyR15HWrvu_jnviiwejiAE-tKTcc97Zfdjm

Added benefit to buying no7 products, they always have deals on in store. I tend to buy either an eyebrow pencil or mascara and get all three items for less than £20.

I’m so glad you’ve got a hair cut you like!
Would henna be an option for hair colouring if it’s a chemical sensitivity issue? I know everyone’s saying to embrace the grey but I do think that can be quite aging especially at only 40, you’re still young!

Definitely focus on feeling better from the inside out - as pp have said, good food will make a difference to your skin and how you feel.

and I know exercise is probably the last thing you’d have time for but having a dance around the kitchen to your favourite song or doing a ten minute YouTube workout will honestly give your mood a boost!

id also treat myself to a few new tops in bright colours, even if it’s Primark! Ooh and I really like Halara trousers, I’ve got some tweed ones that look like smart work trousers but feel like lovely soft fuzzy leggings!

And if your 12 year old has opinions on how you should look, why not offer yourself up for a makeover? It’s be a fun bonding activity at the very least!

Tights: look at Better Tights or Snag Tights. They do tights based on sizes. Most comfortable and hard wearing tights ever.

Fringe: Try “Curtain Bangs”. They aren’t a full fringe, and require a lot less work. Get a roller when drying your hair and give it a dry and you are done.

Make up: There’s a really good book called Skin. It by a make up artist and she goes into all sorts. You might find it in the library. Work out your skin type. Get the skin care sorted then look at make up. I have dry skin and make up looks cakey sometimes. My go to cheap foundation is it Loeral tinted serum. Higher end would be Lisa Eldridge or Jones Road. Lisa Eldridge is great for make up on YouTube.

I find the ladies at Boots on the No7 counter really helpful, they will colour match you and help you pick products to get the look you want. It’s also always on offer and the products are reasonably priced. I’ve used foundation at different price points during my life but No7 triple illuminate is the best for my late 50s skin.

I’m deathly pale OP. I use tanning drops (st tropez, but there’s lots of options) in a regular moisturiser. It makes the world of difference, especially when I’m makeup free. It’s not a faff to apply like regular tan too!

At these times, especially now it's colder, long coat, add a scarf, eyebrows, bit of blush and lipstick.

Meanwhile please don't be so hard on yourself, it's hard to be glamorous when juggling so much! Xxx

Hi OP, I'm 39 and had a similar realisation earlier this year. I have very dry and rapidly ageing pale skin, very droopy skin around eyes , was carrying weight etc. What worked great for me so far in my midlife transformation is: fake tan once a week (St Moriz Luxe in Medium - make sure it's the Luxe one, it is about 20 quid but idiot proof if like me you have never used tan before) that one thing alone makes me look/feel ten times better; intermittent fasting has been great for helping me lose and keep off the fat around my belly and jawline, I eat whatever I want between 10am-4.30pm, literally anything and everything, then after that it's just herbal tea for the evening; I do a quick 5/10 min work out on my bum, arms and stomach most days, no more than 25 reps of anything so I have no excuses not to do at least one or two; I cut a side fringe in to hide lines on the forehead and detract from the droopy eyes, I just pull the straighteners over it quickly every morning. I'm very happy with the results and I have three young children so needed something ultra low maintenance. I also put a bit of lippy on every day and mascara. Agree with the colour analysis recommendation too.

Seconded!

How you feel about yourself affects how you look, so be kind to yourself 🤍

If you can find someone who looks like you or has your colouring, and whose look you like, try doing what they do. It's an easy way to see what suits you!

I also echo drinking lots of water.

Would you ever try grey blending with your hair? I've seen it online, and it's a nice, low maintenance way to lean into your greys.

Aww wishing you all the best OP, try and enjoy the makeover process and see it as a bit of princessing as you go through your weightloss journey! Now I have a baby, I don’t have time to think about outfit inspo like I used to. So my formula to look chic and kind of on trend is blue jeans, can be mom or wide jeans, with a chic sweater. Black or monochrome is fail safe and not too far from what you already wear. For something smarter, pair with a maxi skirt. Get a couple of variations of this and let it become a uniform you don’t have to think about.

Not sure of your budget but go for quality if you can afford it as it hangs better, or seek bargains out from places like Yours (caters to plus size and has some lovely on trend winter bits). Get some comfy on trend trainers, either some Spezials or New Balance 327s.

Importantly, pair with nice red nails. Essie or OPI will last longest if you can’t get to a nail salon, but other high street brands are fine. Use an ergonomic nail file and keep them short and neat. Get a base and top coat and do this for 15 mins twice a week and you’ll feel so much more pulled together.

For your hair, get that chop and then Wella Colour Fresh masks can be a nice bargain way to refresh colour. Try to wash and blow dry every couple of days, good hair makes a big difference and is an easy way to feel put together.

For makeup, I recommend Estée Lauder Futurist Hydra Rescue as it gives a great base for age 35+ and doesn’t settle into wrinkles. If you can’t stretch to that, try the Maybelline Superstay Skin Tint. Definitely a swipe of mascara – doesn’t have to be expensive – and a nice lip tint in a colour that lifts your face and makes you look healthy. Try Mac Squirt plumping gloss, it has a lovely texture, and Elf do some equivalent balm type products. Blush and ‘blonzer’ is the product of the moment so have a play with that, my favourite is actually Rimmel Maxi Blush which is cheap as chips.

Treat yourself to some nice earrings and a necklace again, don’t have to splash out, places like Boho Moon do lovely jewellery that’s not too spenny. Choose something that makes you smile.

And a quote by Hannah Martin (follow her on Instagram for makeup tips) is that for most women those five minutes in the morning of makeup might be the only self care a woman has all day, so prioritise it for yourself and enjoy it. Oh and obviously drink lots of water. Good luck and I’m sure you’ll feel great again within a few weeks

Be kind to yourself
commit For 6 weeks drink 2 litres water , go for a walk twice a day in the morning before breakfast and after dinner , eat veg , salad and fruit daily and give up bread and cereals and sleep 8hrs .
After 6 weeks you should feel a bit better . Maybe it will become easier and more natural behaviours .
After 6 weeks your skin should be a bit better too , so now go to a department store or large Boots and book a free skin and make over you only need to buy at the end if you like it .
( I only buy make up this way and budget just to buy the minimum amount they ask for ) . You can always go back for the rest take pictures of everything you like .
Now also book the hairdressers Shoulder length layered bobs are easy to maintain . Mix highlights with your greys .
And finally after these 6 weeks book a full count blood test for iron. Thyroid , vitamin D , b12 , cholesterol and glucose.
Im sure your clothes are fine ( we all need less clothes ) As long as your clothes fit you , are washed and ironed and you wear tonal colours together. Throw out what you hate , what is uncomfortable , doesn’t fit and is torn or worn out . . MIDI dresses and boots / trainers are best for flattering , fashion and daily function. Go big clothes shopping after you’ve lost your 1st stone . It will be a reward and treat .
best of luck .
Let us know how you get on .

Maybe try a light tinted moisturiser if foundation is too cakey? It’s perfect for making you look “brighter” and more awake

if mascara alone isn’t cutting it, maybe try a neutral eye shadow - something like Rodial eye sculpt or Trinny London - can just be applied with your fingers so quick and easy and quite forgiving (you don’t need expert technique!)

maybe also try and eyebrow pencil or colored eyebrow gel? Will help to frame your face beautifully

I know you said chemical sensitivity so this might not suit, but lash & brow tinting are excellent in helping bring your face to life

you definitely don’t need tons of makeup (especially if you don’t wear much already it can feel quite unnatural), so just a couple of natural looking perks to brighten you up - honestly the biggest impact is for your self confidence, sounds like you are being quite unnecessarily harsh on yourself and your appearance, sending you hugs

The Facebook group Style Me Happy Community is great, I think it could really help you x

Try a serum for your eye lashes/ brows. I find tinted moisturiser best as I’ve got older- I like Nars radiant. Decent coverage, doesn’t cake but gives a glow. You could also try Trinny London BFF 30spf and BFF eyes for light coverage and a glow. Not sure where you’re based but most department stores will do either a free makeover or a nominal charge which is offset against buying products. Space NK are good for that. Also Trinny London do an online one, and then they set up your profile and when you go to the website it shows the colours/ products that match your profile.

John Lewis do a free personal styling service, you could book in for that to try new clothes.

You shouldn't have to wear makeup routinely to make other people feel better about how you look. I'm 50 and wear it less and less as I've realised I'm fine just as I am. Focus on making time for yourself, having enough sleep, drinking enough fluids, doing some exercise and eating well and this will show on you more than any product or makeup, which can only do so much.

You mentioned dark circles, there's a make up artist called Katie, her social media pages are Beauty and the Boutique she has really dark circles and shows how she covers them. I like watching her tutorials.
If you can afford to buy yourself a few bits and allow yourself a few mins in the morning. Easy for us to say if your life is full on. I often think the idea of pulling a straightener over your fringe and putting make up on sounds bigger than it is, the reality is just a couple of mins.
I wear make up every day, foundation cream blusher, mascara - sometimes eye liner as well and I am done in 90 seconds.

Do you use istagram? I’m not apple shaped myself so can’t give you lots of recommendations for accounts but there are many stylists that give specific fashion advice on clothes to suit your shape. Check out hey.ashley.rae for example. Also I agree with previous posters about a colour analysis, black suits hardly anyone. Have a look at houseofcolour_judiprue on instagram. Yes she is older than you but you can see how uplifting it can be to wear colour and she also gives advice on dressing an apple shaped body. I don’t think drinking excessive amounts of water will help you lose weight. My advice is eat protein and fibre with every meal to keep glucose levels more steady. This will decrease cravings for comfort foods and reduce inflammation helping your skin. Google the glucose goddess.

Hi There,

I have the exact same problems.

Staying hydrated and well rested with a minimum of 8 hours sleep is definitely a must!

Magnesium at night will aid in sleep if ypu struggle with this. There's one at Holland and Barratt called better you they do a Magnesium gel and spray range. Be warned the lavender one gave me crazy mad dreams 😅 The Standadrd Magnesium Gel doesn't though? Its bizarre.
I apply it to me legs and feet at night as I also get restless legs at times and its a god send got this!!

For dark under eye an orange corrector and then concealer over are a god send! For brightening the eye area.

I use with a make up sponge (all from Super drug):

Super boost anti dark circles corrector base

Studio base flaunt flawless cream concealer shade no10

MUA Pro base double shot under eye brightener- light.

MUA Blushed liquid cream blush in mighty rose - a little dot goes a long way with an angled blusher brush.

Definitely watch you tube or Tik Tok tutorials they really do give you great ideas and a bit of practice you'll be confident in applying make up in no time!!

You could try a base under your foundation maybe?

Good luck and keep us posted.

A lot of beauty floors in stores have assistants that do cleanses followed by a make up tutorials and you don’t need to buy anything but i bet you will. Clothes, again stores like John Lewis have personal shoppers I have found them to be very helpful it saves trailing round the store trying to get ideas. Good luck put yourself first and enjoy it.

Thanks everyone, really happy with the advice on this thread. Really appreciate it all.

I'd say start simple with make-up These three things & have a play at home to get used to applying...

1. Foundation
2. Blusher
3. Mascara

Just wanted to mention the Laura Geller baked foundation... goes on like a powder (just swirl on skin with a large brush) but SO much easier & better than a cream to even out skin colour, also mistake-proof.
A blush is something that you can use on cheeks, eyes AND lips. One blush colour used on all three gives a lovely natural healthy colour & no faffing...just go for a 'natural' pink colour, the trick being to blend blend blend. Remembering less is more!
A brown (or plum) mascara isn't as bold as black, & looks so good to open up the eyes!
Hope you have fun 💐