Help me wear more dresses…

[Ontheedgeofit]

So I went to a Sunday food market / fair today with a whole bunch of people from our neighborhood. All the women were wearing lovely day dresses etc. I have a cupboard full of dresses but just don’t seem to look so effortless when wearing them. I’m 47, average chested and I have a very good figure from not having had children and I’ve done a fair amount of sport and exercise over the years. My arms could use a little toning but otherwise there is nothing to hide. I love winter because I can wear jeans and a nice top and trainers and a coat or bomber jacket. Summer (I live in the southern hemisphere) is just another story and I can’t seem to find anything especially dresses to wear. I wouldn’t consider myself girly and I’m not a fan of prints or large florals.

Just for fun can you suggest some dresses that are on the younger side of 45?

So I kind of like something like this but 🤷‍♀️

But I fear it would be too short…

Not to be snarky but I should imagine if you have ‘a very good figure’ with ‘nothing to hide’ you could wear pretty much anything you want, and don’t need our help.

Signed - someone your age who also didn’t have children but the IVF hormones gave me a belly I never recovered from and now have lots to hide.

Look for a dress you like, buy it and wear it. I'm not sure how hard this might be.

To both of you previous posters. Sorry perhaps I didn’t explain myself very well. I’d love to wear more dresses but they feel too girly for me. There must be something out there that would make me feel feminine without being too much?

To the first poster. I too went through 4 years of ivf and it’s been an absolute battle to get back to my pre ivf shape. But I’m finally here albeit 7 years older.

I look better in dresses because I had 3 children and now have lots to ‘hide’. Dresses are comfy and look lovely on everyone. If you live outside the UK though, it’s hard to recommend mainstream shops!

Lots of stuff gets shipped here and I visit often. I’m more looking for inspiration rather than exact items. Would be lovely if I could buy though.

Take the plunge! Once you start wearing dresses, you won’t look back. I felt self- conscious at first, over dressed, but then realised I wanted to be better dressed rather than ‘jeans and a nice top’ (which is a look I also embrace).

And just because I don’t have anything to hide it means I shouldn’t want to not look like a teenager. Why can’t people just be kind?

That’s probably exactly what my resistance is about … I feel over dressed! It’s easier to just blend in when you’re wearing jeans and a shirt.

I like Ghost floor length cami strap dresses. They are of beautiful fabric, skim the figure, drop to the floor, can be worn with flip flops and a shrug or walking boots and a cashmere jumper. I buy mine second hand. Watch for the shiny fabric ones and avoid. Buy the flat fabric ones that are not shiny. Honestly they are epic.

I also like All Saints parachute dresses which I buy second hand. Again great on their own in the heat but can also layer and wear with boots or Converse.

Some ideas :

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su678128/f86470#f86470

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su709606/w30871#w30871

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su576647/ap0613#ap0613

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su679636/f63251#f63251

Maxi dresses seem like a massive step in the most dress direction!

I wear dresses from Hobbs, Wool&, Seasalt and Lintico. They look grown up without being frumpy. I dont wear prints, only block colours, and I don't wear artificial fibres - wool, cotton, linen only. I wear them with tights and knee length boots for work, or with loafers in summer.

I think you should go shopping and try things on. Only way really.

I like the denim one. I think I might look for one without sleeves.

Try things that you don’t think will work iyswim

I'm sure you dont look like a teenager at all op! Be kinder to yourself.

I bet you look great in jeans and a shirt. Do you really need to change it up? Maybe the women you saw have totally different figures, styles and lifestyles to you. You don't need to change yours just because you saw people who looked nice and also different to you.

That said, next time you see someone in a dress you really love, why not go over and ask them where they got it?

Yes it’s probably all in my mind and may feel different once I’m wearing it.

@OntheedgeofitI wasn’t being unkind - see ‘not to be snarky’. I was trying to head that assumption off- and how do you know my second comment about myself wasn’t wistful?

I was saying you’re lucky, so maybe don’t need our help. But you chose to read it as a critique. You then offered further context to your query which was helpful.

Edited because I posted twice.

I think sometimes, possibly especially with a decent figure, wearing a dress like this draws a LOT of attention. Maybe that is something you are aware of and instinctively feel more comfortable in jeans? I have sometimes thought before I look too ‘sexy’ in not meant to be sexy clothes if that makes sense (I know that sounds so full of myself)

Thank you. Would be nice to be a bit more put together and feminine. And we live in a really hot climate. It’s probably in my head that I give off teenage boy vibes 😂

https://www.sezane.com/en-en/product/dorothe-dress/blue-floral-embroidery-on-vichy-fabric#size-6

for a summer food market I think something like this would look very cool. It’s on my wish list. For next year now!

That’s definitely part of it. I could very easily wear a fitting body con column dress but that’s very attention drawing.