Help me wear more dresses…

[Ontheedgeofit]

So I went to a Sunday food market / fair today with a whole bunch of people from our neighborhood. All the women were wearing lovely day dresses etc. I have a cupboard full of dresses but just don’t seem to look so effortless when wearing them. I’m 47, average chested and I have a very good figure from not having had children and I’ve done a fair amount of sport and exercise over the years. My arms could use a little toning but otherwise there is nothing to hide. I love winter because I can wear jeans and a nice top and trainers and a coat or bomber jacket. Summer (I live in the southern hemisphere) is just another story and I can’t seem to find anything especially dresses to wear. I wouldn’t consider myself girly and I’m not a fan of prints or large florals.

Just for fun can you suggest some dresses that are on the younger side of 45?

I took it as OP having insecurities about not fitting in.

Im also a mum with a great figure, no mum tum etc. I kind of identify still with how she feels about not feeling like a proper grown up though 😂.

https://www.nobodyschild.com/products/green-abstract-linen-blend-palermo-mini-dress-d251897grn?_gl=11tn9cvh_upMQ.._gs*MQ..&gclid=Cj0KCQjw58PGBhCkARIsADbDilzKxMGvF7j_DL0jPGGePNHYvlWQ8Se1evM68hZzIZAku9KH_Jdq5pYaAvDaEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds&gbraid=0AAAAADQCJIWxoU5Yu-NC4U1Rr9aBUbaGE

A simple shift dress?

That’s absolutely what the issue is. When our friend group was younger I didn’t have a problem. They became mothers and I didn’t, leaving me feeling like I never grew up. I mean I have literally grown up because I own a successful business, travel, am financially secure but my sense of style has never grown up.

I have had the same figure all my life (even though i do have DC) and have nothing to hide, but at 52 i just no longer feel comfortable wearing certain dresses that are very short and/or “girly”. I still happily wear shorts on holiday but for dresses I tend to go for longer lengths.

more like this:
https://www.sezane.com/en-en/product/dora-dress/purple-soffi-print#size-6

Love the Sezane. I like this - if I wasn’t conscious of my tummy I would wear: https://www.zara.com/uk/en/limited-edition-striped-draped-dress-p06085910.html?v1=460046231&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=11260393417&gbraid=0AAAAADqbk7asUEe338OtuItmXTNP5SPDc&gclid=EAIaIQobChMImby88_bsjwMVvJpQBh2kcDtKEAQYHSABEgIBafD_BwE

OP I think your post just had a lot of assumptions in it that people who have kids look a certain way vs people who don’t have kids. No need to do that, just ask for dress recommendations for a 45 year old who is slim and doesn’t feel comfortable in dresses! Job done.

Lots here to choose from
https://www.zara.com/uk/en/woman-dresses-mini-l1083.html

I reacted to OP's assumptions as I did because I resent being boxed into the identity of "mother" - like you both I don't feel like a grown up either, which is probably why I've taken to dressing like a teenager! I'm not interested in wearing any of the more 'mature' and polished others I had before becoming a parent - have some very demure Toast dresses I could donate to @Ontheedgeofit

It’s a internal battle of the generations in my mind…

When I say teenager I don’t mean the edgy cool kind… I would love to figure that out. It’s more of a tomboy preteen trying to wear a strappy summer dress dilemma…

Chatgpt got it pretty spot on.

@AudHvamm demure isn’t what I’m after. You can keep your dresses 😂

I think if you're not used to wearing dresses, it's a good idea to start out with ones that aren't too fitted or too short. If they make it hard to move and do your usual activity, you're going to be forever tugging them into place, so will be very conscious of them and, as a result, feel even more self-conscious. Ideally you want to put it on, feel good in it and then forget it.

I wore this dress a lot this summer, and will probably end up wearing it with tights and boots over the winter because it's so easy to wear.

Or swap trousers for skirts and keep the top half the same and go from there.

Avoid patterns, tiers, flounces or any other embellishments.

Natural fibres - classic shapes and colours (neutrals) that you can wear for years.

I love dresses - so comfortable and airy - no decisions to make what to wear with it - and if you keep to the formula - very classy and not ‘mumsy’. I always wear midi or sometimes maxi.

Shirt dresses are great for me - but work out the best shape for you and just pick up that shape whenever you see it - they last decades - and can just be updated each season with different shoes, accessories etc. Simple.

What did you like the look of on others? Colours, shape, length, fabric etc and what did you not like on others?

😂😂😂

Damn I'm going to have to find some unsuspecting adult to palm them off on.

I know you said maxi dresses seemed a bit too much, but I've been really enjoying this kind of thing in summer (UK) https://www.cos.com/en-gb/women/dresses

I find longer dresses easier to wear than something shorter and it's a complete outfit!

There's also a lovely jersey column dress on the Cos site - if you've got a good figure why not?

@Ontheedgeofit do you have a link to that dress? I love that

Which one? The first pic in the wrap around beige colour? If so, it’s from Zara. But I’m in South Africa so not sure if the stock is the same. I actually went in yesterday and it’s beautiful. Waiting for my online order to arrive. I’ll post a pic with the product code and you can see if it’s available in the uk.

ps everyone else who sends a Zara link to me, it doesn’t work as it takes me to the South African version and invariably we don’t have the same.

Oh gawd, I'm sorry you've been through that. I hope you've been able to adopt.

Why do you think you need to look effortless?

Effortless = I’m sure they have put in effort but it looks so natural and feminine and this is not how I feel when wearing a dress.