Help me wear more dresses…

[Ontheedgeofit]

So I went to a Sunday food market / fair today with a whole bunch of people from our neighborhood. All the women were wearing lovely day dresses etc. I have a cupboard full of dresses but just don’t seem to look so effortless when wearing them. I’m 47, average chested and I have a very good figure from not having had children and I’ve done a fair amount of sport and exercise over the years. My arms could use a little toning but otherwise there is nothing to hide. I love winter because I can wear jeans and a nice top and trainers and a coat or bomber jacket. Summer (I live in the southern hemisphere) is just another story and I can’t seem to find anything especially dresses to wear. I wouldn’t consider myself girly and I’m not a fan of prints or large florals.

Just for fun can you suggest some dresses that are on the younger side of 45?

I think it was your insinuation that people with children won’t have a good figure…

That’s lovely and my immediate reaction is that it’s too short but then my go to in summer is mid thigh shorts.

I apologize.

Have you tried a shirt dress - they always look nice but bot too formal. Ditto tunic style or skater dresses. I find chunky boots or trainers help me feel not too overdressed.

My status as a non-mother does affect how I feel about myself and the way I dress. Like these other women are much more grown up than me because they’ve had children. They dress like mums.

When I do put dresses into an online basket they tend to have buttons all the way down the front so maybe I’m not far off.

If you already have a closet full of dresses, pull them out and try them all on again. Put with different pantyhose, thick/sheer etc and different shoes, heels boots.
Wear the one you like best out to the supermarket or somewhere “non threatening”and see how you feel.
It does take a bit of getting used to but you must have liked your dresses enough to buy them so see how it goes.

Ive got dresses too which I rarely wear but I did venture out in one recently and was complimented several times! For me it’s laziness that I don’t wear them more often! 🙄🤷‍♀️

I love this but gosh, I’m not sure I’m that brave!

I think I’m going to make a point of wearing at least one dress a week from the ones I already own.

Its not about being unkind. Its about you making the statement that you have a good figure figure because you havent had kids, therefore implying people that have kids dont have a good figure.

You can wear any dress you like whether youve had kids or not.

I say go for it! It's a fab dress and hugely adaptable for day/evening wear.

My favourite dress is from Sezane. It's black, strapped shoulders, quite a fitted bodice and then a mid calf skirt, not too full. It dresses down nicely with a cropped chunky cardigan.
Sezane delivers internationally (I think)

I have apologized in a previous posts. When I read style posts a lot of women are trying to cover up belly’s and make provision for large breasts.

If you could actually read my heart you would know that not having kids is something which makes me feel very insecure among my mother friends. It makes me feel very immature and I think it comes across in the way I dress.

Depending on your budget, Reiss have some amazing dresses and the quality means they last.

And if youre wearing thick tights it doesnt matter if its a wee bit short.

I love a form fitting knitted dress.

I’ve almost just bought it but the import duties almost double the cost! I’ll have to leave it in the cart for a bit while I think about it.

It sounds like the only thing stopping you from wearing dresses is you, OP.

Have you spent years wearing the same things and now feel a bit scared to break the mold?

You could always try wearing a dress on a day out shopping or something? Somewhere where you are unlikely to bump into people you know - not that they'd notice or care that you were wearing a dress but we do overthink these things sometimes, don't we?

A couple of shopping days in dresses and they'll feel much more 'normal' to go about your day in.

Im sorry, didnt mean to hurt your feelings. Could you maybe show what dresses you have and we could see what you mean?

Dont judge the way you dress on others. I'm sure there are people that think i dress too young, but i dont care anymore, i dress how makes me feel good!!

I totally get this. I'm sorry you went through all that. I'm sure you don't seem immature in the slightest (either in the way you dress or are generally).
I speak as someone who has also had lots of IVF.
X

Love this but white? And too smart? Could you wear this with flats?

www.reiss.com/style/su725503/w40880#w40880

Definitely me and in my head!

I would wear that with flats, no problem.
I've just bought myself a white denim mini (and I'm not young young - I'm 59)

If you like jeans maybe a denim dress would be a good entry point to wearing dresses for you?

Not sure what your climate is like but knee high boots with dresses also make me feel less like I am wearing fancy dress.

Tshirt style dresses in a plain colour might also work. Ditto the mixed media dresses that are around at the moment (tshirt top, cotton poplin skirt)

What has actually brought about this idea that my style needs to grow up besides for todays food market with neighbours is the looming wedding of my SD (when I say looming, I am catastrophising as they are not even engaged.) Her mother is a larger than me woman who just carries herself well and is just suited to a mother of the bride dress, she looks amazing in dresses and not so much in jeans and a t shirt. If I can’t even find a dress to wear on a Sunday afternoon how the hell am I going to feel comfortable in a dress at a wedding where I am going to be one of her four parents. I’ve always been the trial running, beach shorts and t shirt parent with the messy pony tail 🙈🙈🙈

You are beyond catastrophising!
If there is ever a wedding, and assuming it's in a lovely warm place, I'd go for a boho-luxe dress or a stunning trouser suit
Are you near a high end department store with a personal stylist department?

@WFHforevermore @ThePoliteLion thank you. Im actually sitting here in tears. This stupid post about fucking dresses has picked at scars I thought were long healed.

I’m definitely going to bring in the professionals when the wedding comes. Even if I have to travel.