Help me wear more dresses…

[Ontheedgeofit]

So I went to a Sunday food market / fair today with a whole bunch of people from our neighborhood. All the women were wearing lovely day dresses etc. I have a cupboard full of dresses but just don’t seem to look so effortless when wearing them. I’m 47, average chested and I have a very good figure from not having had children and I’ve done a fair amount of sport and exercise over the years. My arms could use a little toning but otherwise there is nothing to hide. I love winter because I can wear jeans and a nice top and trainers and a coat or bomber jacket. Summer (I live in the southern hemisphere) is just another story and I can’t seem to find anything especially dresses to wear. I wouldn’t consider myself girly and I’m not a fan of prints or large florals.

Just for fun can you suggest some dresses that are on the younger side of 45?

I also get this. Suddenly things that you thought were "dealt with" loom suddenly and tearfulness takes over
Hugs
X

I’ve thought about where my comment came from and it’s because I’m often told that I have the shape I do because I haven’t had children. So it’s just a reverse and again I apologise for the insinuation. It’s obviously a scratch on my record.

OP I think I can help.

I’m mid-40s and also have a very good figure. I know exactly what you mean about not looking too young in bodycon etc. I could wear them (as in, I have the figure for it) but I feel like I’m a bit too old now.

However, I wear dresses a lot in the summer. Maxi is far too dressy for what you want imo, so I would go short and strappy and button-through - like the ones that were popular in the 90s and sometimes worn over a t-shirt 😂. They’re not too dressy and you can even wear them with trainers.

I think the more you wear dresses the less ‘dressed up’ you feel iyswim. I tend to not wear jewellery or anything else.

I think the one you’ve shown in your early post is perfect - I would wear that with flip flops or flat sandals.

I'm a similar age, with a skinny-athletic figure and I like dresses that sit just above the knee - I feel slightly self-conscious if they're true mini length - and for summer I like fairly simple shapes. None of these is perfect, but hopefully they give an idea of what I mean. It can be a fine line between flattering shift dress and shapeless sack, but you learn what works for your shape.
Binny Black Button Linen Dress (don't like the colours or I'd probably have bought this)
Linen Sleeveless Knee Length Wrap Dress (wrap dresses aren't me, but might appeal to you?)
Linen Sleeveless Knee Length Shift Dress (experience tells me this would look like a sack, but I like the print)
Shawl-collar dress (a bit dull and demure, also expensive, they had nicer ones when it was actually summer)

Love the fat face one. I’d wear that in the summer too

Dooooooooo iiiiiiittt!!

Buy something pretty, wear it out, take a pic, post it here and let us applaud you!

It's hard sometimes to break out of the weird confines we've put on ourselves.

Worth it though.x.

Don’t worry what other people think. If the dress suits you and you like it, then wear it.

One of my favourite dresses was described as a marmite dress, and had a whole thread dedicated to it. Some people loved it, others hated it. It wasn’t even anything extravagant, and was from a local supermarket! Last time I wore it, a shop worker immediately complimented me!

Have you tried on all your dresses recently, could you try them with different boots, tights, trainers, shoes, jackets etc?

Perhaps start wearing them indoors and pop out and build it up?

I wear dresses two thirds of the time and feel totally casual/normal in them. Different accessories does make a difference.

This is clearly not about dresses.
I think you need some therapy.

Thank you all!
@Parnassia love the fat face dress.
@KateMiskin acknowledged. I’ve done all the therapy. Something’s just don’t go away and will probably always remain.

Sorry to hear that, OP.
There is a MNers Without Children sub-forum that may be of help to you.

That’s a lovely dress but it is look at me style. To wear dresses effortlessly the trick is neither to short (minimum an inch or two above knee) not too long so you trip (4 inches above ground is my maximum for day wear) and crucially not too revealing so you don’t need to keep checking its in the right spot, buttons accidentally undone etc. Being in the U.K. I tend to consider if summer dresses will work with thin tights as well to extend their season. I favour v neck as I’m larger up top.

I hear you. I also find sleeves a bit weird. Especially short sleeves. I don’t think I’m very broad shouldered but anything too voluminous makes me feel bigger than I need to be and then on the converse anything too strappy feels too much like a teenage summer dress.

Do you think buying a dress that is too long ie maxi and having it tailored to be a midi is silly?

No, taking a few inches off a dress is in no way silly.

If you like the Sezane dress then Next do one that’s not a million miles away, in a pink animal print and it’s £30.
I’m similar to you in that I live in jeans and tees and although I own a handful of dresses I rarely wear them as I feel too feminine/ overdressed somehow. I’d like to look smarter but I feel vulnerable when I’m not in jeans.

Exactly. It’s like if you showed up somewhere in a dress everyone would notice and comment.

Will have a look at next. They definitely do deliver here and I’ve ordered a fair amount before.

Do vinted deliver to you? I browse it a lot and the algorithms get to know the kind of things I ‘favourite’ and it suggests similar things in my suggestions items. I’ve actually bought a few of them.

No we don’t have vinted here. We have another platform but it’s really hit and miss. Lots of cheap rubbish to sift through.

How about a linen mid thigh shirt waister? Not too girlie. Or a classic, fitted shift dress
So glam but not floaty girlie.

I'll find versions and post below.

What about a T-shirt type dress. You can wear it casually with trainers or dress it up a bit
https://www.sezane.com/en-en/product/pippa-dress/washed-blue#size-s
This is the kind of thing I mean. There is also a sleeveless version if those short sleeves don’t work for you

This is me too! I dress like a teenage boy most of the time too. Reading this thread with interest.

I never used to wear dresses, and found summer clothes especially hard to find as it was either dresses, or shorts and tshirts (which made me feel like either an overgrown toddler or a frumpy mum trying to Be Cool).

I started off with a few skirts, autumn time. Wore them with doc marten boots and thick tights. Then in the summer, jersey circle style skirts (RIP Gap with the many variations on this) with vest tops and either superga trainers or flip flops or birkenstocks.

Once I got used to that silhouette, I tackled dresses. I like wrap style dresses or v neck ones. And now I know the style, I wear them.

So you could take small steps to dress wearing. Or... find a dress you like the look of, buy it and wear it round the house. Take the bins out in it, make it normal. Then wear it out the house. Ta-dah! You now wear dresses!

I'm a mother, I've got a great figure and I dress like a teenager.

There's a lot of assumptions and 'shoulds' in your posts about yourself and others which are distracting from you doing you. Sounds you've had a difficult journey with IVF which has possibly affected your confidence and identity, I'm sorry you've suffered.

To answer your question - denim and block colour jersey fabrics make dresses appear more casual so that could be a good place to start. Toast denim dresses are well made and not revealing.

That’s lovely. I’m seeing some inspiration.

I put on a dress this morning, went through to make DH and my breakfast, and then went back to change into a denim skirt and vest type shirt, went back and had our morning coffee on the porch, then went back and put my jeans back on with birks. So today was not a winning day.