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17 year old wedding guest

135 replies

JustADressPlease · 24/08/2025 16:46

Please help me. I'm going to try and cram enough details in, so please excuse the length of the post. We are due to attend a fairly small, fairly casual (in a church but then in a nice country pub afterwards), family wedding in a couple of weeks and I desperately need help. And I say that without any hyperbole! My daughter is 17, mildly ND, has issues with labels and things she feels are constricting. She is 5'10" and a size 6-8, but prefers an 8. She has really, really loooonnng legs (thank goodness she took after her dad and didn't get my stumpy legs with podgy knees and ridiculously long back because that would make this even harder) but doesn't particularly like to flaunt them! She has a model physique and could wear a bin bag and look amazing but is happiest in a pair of leggings and a fleecy jumper. She isn't overly girly, very untrendy, doesn't like jumpsuits as they, ahem, cut her in two, is willing to wear a dress (that's kind of a "must", don't ask!), and doesn't like yellow, overly bright patterns or flowers.

I took her and friend over to the nearest big city a couple of weeks ago and she found nothing. She said she would wear a dress she already has. I've kept asking her to try it on and to show me and she kept forgetting or saying she'd do it later and then that it would be fine, but still hadn't shown me. One of her ND side effects is avoidance of things that make her uncomfortable. I forced her to go and put it on and show me this morning. It's too small, which I suspected it would be. Sigh... I have been looking for something online for the past week or so because I foresaw this coming. I have probably spent about 15 hours, maybe more, trolling loads of sites (Nobody's Child, H&M, Next, Sosander, Roman, Phase Eight, River Island and probably more that I have forgotten) and opening about a million tabs which I sat her down and made her look at this morning. Just to give me some ideas. This is the ONLY one, from Nobody's Child, which was almost acceptable and of course, now it's flipping out of stock. I have emailed and hopefully it might come back in stock, although since it's summery it's unlikely: Acceptable Dress I have looked at every option within my budget (upto £150, I'm that desperate, but prefereably, much, much less as she's likely to only wear it this once!)

So please, please, help me and suggest other stores or even better actual dresses that might be acceptable. I would be unbelievably grateful.

Thanks, one tired,desperate internetted out mum...

Pink Sleeveless Tiered Charlie Midi Dress

Pink Sleeveless Tiered Charlie Midi Dress

https://www.nobodyschild.com/products/pink-sleeveless-tiered-charlie-midi-dress-d255476pnk?cjdata=MXxZfDB8WXwxNzU4NjM3MTI0NDk2&cjevent=3e0e651580f511f083f302200a18b8fc&utm_source=CJ&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=Easyfundraising+Ltd

OP posts:
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SaltAirAndTheRust · 25/08/2025 11:17

It sounds as though she’s messing you around.

Id get on asos, order one you like and that’s that. She’s had the chance to pick and she’s messed you about, so she has to deal with it. That’s what my mum would have done.

Vitriolinsanity · 25/08/2025 11:43

Beachtastic · 25/08/2025 11:09

I know it's not what you intended, but I had to laugh that this is the first image that came up via that link... ideal for a wedding! 😀

Brilliant!

that’s what I wore to my own wedding BlushBlushBlushBlush

AliceMaforethought · 25/08/2025 11:48

JustADressPlease · 25/08/2025 10:13

That's what she wore to the hen do, but this is definitely a dress thing. Thank you though!

Kindly, I don't understand 'needs to be a dress'. The reception is in a pub, it isn't black tie. If the family say she needs to wear a dress, they are highly unreasonable.

JustADressPlease · 25/08/2025 12:23

SaltAirAndTheRust · 25/08/2025 11:17

It sounds as though she’s messing you around.

Id get on asos, order one you like and that’s that. She’s had the chance to pick and she’s messed you about, so she has to deal with it. That’s what my mum would have done.

She's really not. When she was younger I would just buy her what I thought she needed and she would wear it. As she's got older, her ND has progressed and textures, fit etc have become more of an issue. When I have insisted she wears certain things, she has become visibly distressed, pulling at hems and necklines and welling up at her discomfort. I am sorry your mum did that to you, that must have been awful for you, but I am trying to help my daughter to not only find her own style and widen the range of clothing she can tolerate but to do it in a way that doesn't overwhelm her. I name changed specifically for this thread, I've been here since 2007 and am very much an advocate of children sometimes having to "put up and shut up" so to speak and am almost certainly on the stricter side of parenting. However, I am also not a monster and if I can help my girl by asking other parents for advice and suggestions and doing a few hours of legwork (sitting on my bottom in the comfort of my living room) to try and reduce the stress for my beautiful daughter then I will, without apology.

OP posts:
JustADressPlease · 25/08/2025 12:30

AliceMaforethought · 25/08/2025 11:48

Kindly, I don't understand 'needs to be a dress'. The reception is in a pub, it isn't black tie. If the family say she needs to wear a dress, they are highly unreasonable.

Kindly, you don't need to understand and it really doesn't matter if anyone is being unreasonable. Those things are maybe for another thread. A dress is what I need to find so that is what I have asked for help with.

And to be honest, finding trousers (or a skirt) and a top would actually probably be even harder. "Tall" trousers usually graze her ankles. Even Long Tall Sally clothes are often not long enough. Waist bands irritate her and trying to get a top to go with them nigh on impossible.

OP posts:
DeepfriedPizza · 25/08/2025 12:31

Primark have a similar one to the Nobod's child one but in Burgundy Womens Burgundy Sleeveless Midi Dress With Shirred Bodice | Primark

AntiBullshit · 25/08/2025 13:13

If she likes the dress that’s now too small why can’t she get the size that fits her now?

ludicrouslycapaciousbags · 25/08/2025 13:18

Bershka
Stradivarius
Pull & Bear
ASOS
Zara

These are all suitable for her age.
Has she looked on vinted?

ludicrouslycapaciousbags · 25/08/2025 13:19

House of CB

JustADressPlease · 25/08/2025 13:24

AntiBullshit · 25/08/2025 13:13

If she likes the dress that’s now too small why can’t she get the size that fits her now?

It's a few years old and they don't sell it anymore. 😞

OP posts:
Justyouwaitandseeagain · 25/08/2025 13:49

worth checking Amazon too. Search Auselily sleeveless midi dressses. These have been great for me and my ND daughter.

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 25/08/2025 14:02

JustADressPlease · 25/08/2025 10:18

Oh, defnitely not, this is the first wedding she is going to and it is her beloved cousin's. She is beyond excited to be going but just can't mentally get over the clothes issue. But I totally understand why you may think that and your tone was very kind!

In that case I wish you very good luck!

FrodoBiggins · 25/08/2025 14:10

JustADressPlease · 25/08/2025 13:24

It's a few years old and they don't sell it anymore. 😞

Do you have a pic of it? It might still be available from another retailer or on vinted/Ebay etc. I am a fiend for being attached to an old item of clothing and having to repurchase!

Sunholidays · 25/08/2025 16:51

Did she like any of the suggestions OP?

BriocheForBreakfast · 25/08/2025 17:08

Apologies for not reading the full thread but how about polka dots?

https://www.newlook.com/uk/womens/clothing/dresses/green-polka-dot-milkmaid-midi-dress/p/936372339

JustADressPlease · 25/08/2025 17:37

Sunholidays · 25/08/2025 16:51

Did she like any of the suggestions OP?

She's gone to stay with a friend for a couple of days before college starts again and isn't back until Wednesday so she hasn't seen my efforts yet. 😂 I spent just over 4 hours solid opening every single suggested dress and / or website. Must have looked at eleventy-billion frocks. I'll be dreaming about them tonight to be sure, dancing round my head like candy canes...

I narrowed it down to about 30 that I think she might be able to choose from and have sent her them all in an email. I'm hoping that she'll have a look at them with her friend and agree to order a few to try. If not, she's going in her jimjams and I'm going to drink a lot of wine!

Thank you all so much again, so sorry I haven't replied to each one of you, you are all superstars giving up your time to try and help me. You can all polish your haloes! 😍

OP posts:
Zero2ten · 25/08/2025 18:14

Definitely have a look through Zara. Sounds like her sizing would suit their range well

HollyGolightly4 · 25/08/2025 18:24

Does her friend have dresses she could try on to get an idea, even if they aren't the same size?

Pineapples123 · 25/08/2025 18:41

A bit different from the previous suggestions but I got this for a wedding this year- it’s lovely soft material and I had lots of compliments on it. Add some gold jewellery and it looks lovely

www.riverisland.com/p/green-asymmetric-draped-wrap-midi-dress-928824