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17 year old wedding guest

135 replies

JustADressPlease · 24/08/2025 16:46

Please help me. I'm going to try and cram enough details in, so please excuse the length of the post. We are due to attend a fairly small, fairly casual (in a church but then in a nice country pub afterwards), family wedding in a couple of weeks and I desperately need help. And I say that without any hyperbole! My daughter is 17, mildly ND, has issues with labels and things she feels are constricting. She is 5'10" and a size 6-8, but prefers an 8. She has really, really loooonnng legs (thank goodness she took after her dad and didn't get my stumpy legs with podgy knees and ridiculously long back because that would make this even harder) but doesn't particularly like to flaunt them! She has a model physique and could wear a bin bag and look amazing but is happiest in a pair of leggings and a fleecy jumper. She isn't overly girly, very untrendy, doesn't like jumpsuits as they, ahem, cut her in two, is willing to wear a dress (that's kind of a "must", don't ask!), and doesn't like yellow, overly bright patterns or flowers.

I took her and friend over to the nearest big city a couple of weeks ago and she found nothing. She said she would wear a dress she already has. I've kept asking her to try it on and to show me and she kept forgetting or saying she'd do it later and then that it would be fine, but still hadn't shown me. One of her ND side effects is avoidance of things that make her uncomfortable. I forced her to go and put it on and show me this morning. It's too small, which I suspected it would be. Sigh... I have been looking for something online for the past week or so because I foresaw this coming. I have probably spent about 15 hours, maybe more, trolling loads of sites (Nobody's Child, H&M, Next, Sosander, Roman, Phase Eight, River Island and probably more that I have forgotten) and opening about a million tabs which I sat her down and made her look at this morning. Just to give me some ideas. This is the ONLY one, from Nobody's Child, which was almost acceptable and of course, now it's flipping out of stock. I have emailed and hopefully it might come back in stock, although since it's summery it's unlikely: Acceptable Dress I have looked at every option within my budget (upto £150, I'm that desperate, but prefereably, much, much less as she's likely to only wear it this once!)

So please, please, help me and suggest other stores or even better actual dresses that might be acceptable. I would be unbelievably grateful.

Thanks, one tired,desperate internetted out mum...

Pink Sleeveless Tiered Charlie Midi Dress

Pink Sleeveless Tiered Charlie Midi Dress

https://www.nobodyschild.com/products/pink-sleeveless-tiered-charlie-midi-dress-d255476pnk?cjdata=MXxZfDB8WXwxNzU4NjM3MTI0NDk2&cjevent=3e0e651580f511f083f302200a18b8fc&utm_source=CJ&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=Easyfundraising+Ltd

OP posts:
Thread gallery
22
Silvertulips · 24/08/2025 17:51

Try Club London, they have lots of soft well made fabric dresses that are a longer length:

Vinted have the better prices!

FunnyThing2 · 24/08/2025 20:26

Hi,

Your DD sounds like me. I'm 5'10" and ND.

My answer to this problem is that my parents bought me a beautiful ankle length kilt when I was 17 and I've worn it to every single smart event in the whole of the rest of my life. I've literally never had to buy a new item of clothing for a wedding or concert or anything. It's made my life so easy for these things.

It's like this:
https://www.houseofbruar.com/l-full-length-kilt-black/

Sorry, I know your DD will have very specific prefences about a lot of details, and it might not suit, but wanted to mention in case something like this might help.

The kilt was a bit pricey, but for 40 years' wear, it certainly works out cheap.

Ladies Full Length Tartan Kilt

Carefully crafted in Scotland, this superb ladies full length kilt is made from traditionally woven pure new wool tartan in a vibrant traditional check.

https://www.houseofbruar.com/l-full-length-kilt-black/

Psychicpineapple · 24/08/2025 20:27

I have an ND 19 year old daughter so I feel your pain. @JustADressPlease

She has huge sensory issues and hates shopping. ASOS has been a life saver. We pay the yearly delivery. When she needs clothes I pick things I think she'll like, she chooses the least unacceptable and we send back what doesn't work.

I have the opposite size issue though as my dd is only 4'11.

3girlsmama · 24/08/2025 20:32

Try Vinted, you can filter by colour & style. As it's so cheap you could order a few and see what works best. I know how you feel, one of mine is ND and I don't envy your task ;)

JustADressPlease · 24/08/2025 20:42

Sorry, have been busy since my last reply and have come back to such a lot of replies and just wanted to say a quick thank you to each and everyone of you that has replied, with suggestions and sympathies! Did NOT expect so many amazing people to reply. I'm going to have a look tomorrow at all the suggestions and sites mentioned and hopefully come up with something that is acceptable! I'll let you know... 😘😘😘

OP posts:
ChopsyHatesFungus · 24/08/2025 20:45

That’s a very simple style dress and not at all difficult to make.

I’d be inclined to take the current small one to a seamstress, choose some fabric and ask her to replicate it to fit your daughter. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Goingincirclesstill · 24/08/2025 21:53

@JustADressPlease
If that cream one is suitable, why not see if it can be dyed in a colour she likes? Dependent upon the fabric, dylon do different dyes to chuck in a washing machine

Nn9011 · 24/08/2025 21:56

Why does she need to wear a dress? What about some nice black trousers and a cute top? If it's a bit cooler, a soft cardigan over the top would work. Think about what she's comfy in and dress it up. Weddings are really overstimulating so it's important to make sure the clothes are as accommodating as possible.

strawlight · 24/08/2025 22:01

Buy her a newer but more weddingy coloured version of the existing dress she likes.

MrsBucketHat · 24/08/2025 22:02

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su426623/aj2588

you said you’d looked at Next but this is kind of similar to the NC one? I hope you get sorted soon!

Yellowbirdcage · 24/08/2025 22:04

I love that kilt! How cool to have your own style. What do you wear it with? Am thinking a plain fitted jumper in a toning colour.

Wasitabadger · 24/08/2025 22:15

@JustADressPlease I struggle with some sensory challenges due to Autism. I have found the Oliver Bonas dresses comfortable they often good quality cotton and can be dressed up and down.

Wasitabadger · 24/08/2025 22:19

JustADressPlease · 24/08/2025 17:14

Apparently plain navy is not weddingy.... Honestly, I could cry! 😂

My matron of honour and one bridesmaid wore Navy Coast dresses. My wedding colours were navy and lilac. I wore navy shoes bespoke shoes.

Beachtastic · 24/08/2025 22:28

Onemoret1me · 24/08/2025 17:51

I could have written your exact post earlier this year

older teen that is ND, lives in leggings and hoodie. Very sensitive to clothing, textures etc. does not like colour. Wears black or grey.

I took her shopping for a wedding guest dress and was dreading it but she tried this dress on and loved it. I also bought it in colour but she refused so wore the brown one.

https://www.bershka.com/gb/strappy-midi-dress-c0p196951806.html?colorId=716

Oooohhhh, some lovely things on that site - how I wish I was young again! 😍

Sometimesrow · 24/08/2025 22:36

This one is kind of similar except with straps https://www.abercrombie.com/shop/uk/p/dipped-waist-smocked-midi-dress-59604320-1005?faceout=model&seq=03&pagefm=navigation-swatch&prodvm=navigation-swatch

If it’s specifically a comfy smocked bodice you want then I’d check out Sugarhill Brighton. They do lots in that style though they may be a bit patterned for her.

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 24/08/2025 22:51

Is it possible she might not want to go and is expressing this through her avoidance in picking an outfit?

I hope the gentle tone I’m aiming for lands.

MooFroo · 24/08/2025 22:59

@JustADressPlease if you have a credit card, I’d order a few of the ones closest to what you know she’d wear, and return the ones she rejects.

gives her the chance to try on at home with no pressure and may be more helpful way for her to shop?

just double check returns policy first!

MrsMoastyToasty · 24/08/2025 23:17

How about a trousers and matching waistcoat or a tuxedo?

EscapadeVelocity · 24/08/2025 23:23

Fascinating … Really hard to see why both the brown and the black and white gingham are both unacceptable, since they’re available in an 8.

tougholdbirdy · 24/08/2025 23:25

https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/products/E474063-000/00?colorDisplayCode=67&sizeDisplayCode=003

these dresses are fabulous. Easy to wear, and pockets!

Thefrenchconnection1 · 24/08/2025 23:30

Tougholdbird beat me too it. Uniqlo has things nd friendly (I felt the one linked above and I approve although it may be a little restrictive on top half as quite thick. Defo one to explore tho! They have things in lots of colours

Nomorecoconutboosts · 24/08/2025 23:32

I find lots of shopping overwhelming when I’m stressed or there is some sort of pressure/deadline. I’m not ND.
I love the poster who wrote about their kilt - what an excellent idea and really reduces stress.
I’ve done similar with shoes, bought a suede pair with suitable heels which go with pretty much anything. So if planning an outfit I never worry about that part.
Lovely thread, hopefully not just ideas for the more immediate need (wedding) but strategies for the future too?

LimoncelloSpritzplease · 25/08/2025 00:58

At 5’10’ and all legs she will need something from a tall range.

My DD is the same height but less slim and has a long torso. She/we found a jumpsuit in NEXT tall which was acceptable for another event in fact she ended up being able to wear regular length in the one we purchased earlier on this year. Or how about trousers from a tall range and a waist coat.

I would try and put the filter on NEXT for size 8 and tall and encourage her to pick half a dozen things out to try.

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