Clothes for a grand long weekend away

[sowhythen]

Apologies for the length of this post, I wanted to include as much relevant information as I could.

Close members of my family are ‘landed gentry’ definitely not a stealth boast, it’s not my bloody money 😆 I am setting the scene. I would prefer not to describe them as landed gentry, it is the only adequate description for their life.
With absolutely no irony whatsoever they do not enjoy the UK, particularly not the weather. As a result they spend months of the year abroad, returning to the family home for the summer.
As children we used to visit them for a week or two every summer. When we were younger it was great.

For context wrt clothing, it may help if you read my OP on this thread:
previous thread

Happily DH has stopped being an angry bellend.

Since my accident we have avoided visiting the fancy side of the family.
This year one of them has a significant birthday, we have to go to the celebrations.
We are staying at their home, either their main house or one of the cottages, for the whole weekend. Wherever we stay there will be regular food and drink, we will be expected to attend the communal events.

This side of the family are all horsey, think Princess Anne with darker hair, they look amazing in big florals. As I am small they make me look like I am being assaulted by an apprentice florist with a grudge.

Trigger Warning it all gets a bit Downton Abbey from here.
The birthday events are:

Thursday - travel and evening supper.
Dress code smart casual cashmere with a skirt.

Friday - a choice of activities, given the disability I might choose to stay in bed, if I am up and about I will probably have a wander.
Dress code pyjamas or smart jeans, wellies or trainers and a good jumper or similar.

Friday evening - a meal with family and friends, around 50 of us.
Dress code smart dressy.

Saturday daytime - the same as Friday. With the addition of mucking in to do some greeting.
Dress code the same as Friday.

Saturday early evening tea - Dress code smarter version of cashmere sweater with a good skirt.

Saturday evening - formal dinner for around 200 of us.
Dress code very smart dressy.

Sunday - Sunday lunch with my family. A good walk if I am up to it.
Dress code wellies, jeans, Barbours. Smarter in the house.

Sunday evening - another meal, less formal.
Dress code a nice dress, smart.

Monday - just family for the day.
Dress code still an expectation of smart but less than previous days.

Monday dinner - we are always expected to dress smartly, Monday will be less formal.

Tuesday - breakfast then home.

Me
As I can no longer leave the house alone it has severely impacted my weight. It is very difficult for me to exercise safely even though I eat little and healthily.

I feel fat, I cannot rely on my voice to speak. I can get around slowly with my sticks.
My self esteem is at rock bottom.

I’m 5ft 2, size 12 - 14. An hourglass figure.
My main thing is that as I am in peri my bust is larger than ever.

Colours - I can wear neutrals; dark grey, navy, chocolate brown.
Any blue looks good, all the cooler colours also work, as do some brights. Pinks are good, greens are tricky.
I can’t wear orange or yellow.

My family will pay for any new clothes, that’s how they are persuading me to go 😁

Black is not the done thing, definitely no animal print.

Clothes I need
It does not necessarily have to be expensive, it does have to be tidy and presentable. Aside from jeans I can’t wear the same thing twice.
I’m fine for makeup, that’s one thing I can still do.

I’m asking for any ideas & tips on any of this.
• 1 pair jeans - I usually wear flares, currently I am living in Free People pull on flares and I love them, they won’t cut it here.
I need something like NYDJ or 7ForAllMankind bootcut in a standard dark blue wash, I would appreciate any recommendations for this particular fat bottomed girl.
• Although I have some cashmere I will need versatile cashmere jumpers or cardigans + smart tops or casual dresses to be worn on 6 days, it’s ok to repeat a cashmere sweater as long as the rest of the outfit is different.
• I would love one or two smart, jersey dresses. As an alternative ponte would be very good.
• Chambray dresses should be ok & a good investment, heavy denim dresses are not ok.
• I have to be prepared for cooler and warmer days.
• Everything daytime will ideally mix and match.
• No uneven hems.
• For Friday or Sunday evening Nobody’s Child has a lovely print. Maybe a day dress, rather than evening?this print
• I need a skirt or two to go with the sweaters/cardigans, preferably midi length.
• Saturday night is a challenge. Maybe this? Saturday night
• One of the evenings is this smart enough? smart/casual dress?
• Currently I am lusting after most of Rixo too.

Many, many thanks if you got this far.
That’s probably way too much enough information for now.

All ideas very welcome 😊

What time of year will it be? Cashmere will be no good in August.

Why does jeans brand matter? Nobody will know it, unless you want them to by wearing a crop top.

Oh my goodness, @sowhythen …

I have read your previous thread, as directed.

As regards this one, I’m not sure whether to be impressed or appalled that you’ve found it necessary to set things out in such detail. And I do feel it necessary to observe that I’ve spent many long years amongst the ‘landed gentry’ and never, never experienced any such sartorial strictures. If there’s any extra special dressing happening, men wear the DJ they had made for university, women either wear an old favourite or go out and buy something they like. No one would give a fig about the brand. (I mean, one or two people might care about clothes but mostly not.)

I love clothes but would find this level of stress unacceptable, and I really don’t think it can be good for you. Is there not a considerate and time-generous relative (any age or sex) who might do all the organising of this for you?

And yes, which month?

Furthermore (sorry!) your relatives would be kinder to pay for someone who will regularly walk with you, if your DH cannot or will not do this. It is entirely unacceptable that you should be tied to the house purely through lack of the right support.

What’s the budget? I know someone else is paying for this so what you should do is get some good things in colours you like and will wear again (for example the cashmere should be something you love as you can wear that anyway).
Karen Millen do some lovely things for the dressier skirts / dresses and Zara can have some gems.
Jeans - I’m 5’9 and 7 for all mankind are ridiculously long - try Abercrombie, they do an excellent curve range (the normal range doesn’t fit my fat ass in).
Me and Em do some great palazzo jersey trousers, really nice and soft and smarter than jeans, get a navy pair of these (they are cheaper than most Me and Em things too, but look at the sale stuff as there may be a gem that works for you).

Im 5’2” and recently bought this, dressy but not overdressed:

Me&em cheesecloth dress

Cream espadrilles

www.johnlewis.com/chinti-parker-cloud-pure-cashmere-cropped-cardigan/cream/p112832432

I really like Sessun seakey jeans, have both colours and you can dress up or down, last really well

www.laredoute.co.uk/ppdp/prod-350262074.aspx?dim1=1&dim2=3&cod=SHP00201051UK&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22456846766&gclid=Cj0KCQjw097CBhDIARIsAJ3-nxeoNRhF8Jksc09lkooD_0AvIu42wld952ZeS8pbt8idfFYXsKwML9MaAiIaEALw_wcB

I also have this cashmere jumper in blue, good height on me, they also do in v neck

https://nrbyclothing.com/products/sydney-cashmere-crew-neck-sweater-berry?currency=GBP&variant=41083901771831&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Google%20Shopping&stkn=bd029c2bc273&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21664550082&gbraid=0AAAAACxRAAmeVtMlQluk5_gXM8HC7skvL&gclid=Cj0KCQjw097CBhDIARIsAJ3-nxd2ZxtWP9tGeB3zyox24BdDjBjglw_a1BOIdNbPWoxU4KZqosSax4MaAthFEALw_wcB

Is this the sort of look you are after?

What I wanted to say. All of it.

@RemusLupinsBiggestGroupieit is the 28th August onwards, I do feel the cold and I’m wearing a cashmere jumper today. We are in the South.

Jeans style matters, not the brand.
If Free People did thick, ‘sensible’ jeans? I would buy them there.
I am a little old for wearing crop tops.

My husband is related to one of the oldest banking dynasties in the world and they don't carry on like this. Last time I attended one of their family events, most of us were wearing stuff we'd picked up in a charity shop or on Vinted! Like a previous poster, I love fashion, but this does not sound fun, and your husband's family don't sound massively classy if they're imposing all these expectations on you.

(I think it’s the OP’s side of the family - given that she’s been visiting them since her childhood?)

The whole business seems awfully unkind. Amongst the mostly fit and healthy clans I used to hang out with the idea that one would have to buy five days worth of new clothes in order to be an acceptable guest would be met with scornful bemusement. Most people would pack their three or four favourite tops / jumpers, some well worn jeans / skirts, a nice dress for a special dinner and maybe something new for the party. But they all know the OP has been desperately unwell and needs rest and care - that’s what they should be offering her, not this effing assault course of enforced dressing up. It’s horrific.

I’m really sorry, OP, I know I’m not being helpful. Maybe you love them and want to see them. But this is too much.

I usually love picking clothes but I'm exhausted by the specifity of that list. Try these websites. I have lots of clothes from them and would take a selection of them.

Klements
Palava
Sister Jane
Frontiers

I’d be terrified by this visit because I find getting the right clothes a nightmare these days. Would it be worth taking your list of clothing requirements to a personal shopper? I’ve used the John Lewis ones before and they were very helpful. Good luck!!

Well spotted! I tuned out a bit 😉 Anyway, I wouldn't find this fun, even though I normally love shopping and dressing up!

and @IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastleyes, I have spent plenty of time around ‘landed gentry’ too. In my OP I was clear that it was not a flex.
My own experience has been that the system of primogeniture is incredibly divisive, not for me, I was never going to inherit, rather the way it affects family dynamics.

This weekend matters, not so much to me as my wider family.
The Royal Family to name the most famous landed gentry in the UK do not wear knitwear full of moth holes to Royal Ascot, or at Christmas. We have not spent Christmas as a wider family for over 20 years. The feeling is that this will be the final time we see at least one of my family members, the idea is to have a good time.
A final throw of the dice.

My post was meticulous because I have put on weight, someone has told me that they will pay for new clothes and I would like some helpful ideas.

@TheGlamourand @IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastleare either of you disabled?

I can't help with cashmere. The idea of wearing it in August is beyond comprehension to me. Maybe little cotton cardigans could be an alternative with a vest top that isn't too low cut and a skirt? There are lots of pretty broderie anglaise summer midi skirts around at the moment.

Where do you usually shop and what sort of styles do you like? I agree with a PP that instead of shopping specifically for this stay, buy things that will really enhance your wardrobe generally.

Lots of colours of cotton cardigans here. https://www.johnlewis.com/brora-cotton-knit-cardigan/azure/p113344750

@WhiskyandWaterthe budget is if you need it for the weekend? We will buy it.
That said, there isn’t much point in having a wardrobe full of Loewe that I won’t wear to Asda.

Would it be worth looking at Holland cooper or some of the country style shops? This is far out of my comfort zone in afraid. My friend (male) is Irish landed gentry, married to a Guinness and hales from Danish royalty. When I went to his wedding in Ireland they had cupboards full of clothing boots shoes you could borrow if you didn't happen to have riding clothes. Or hunting clothes etc. I just took my regular wardrobe and no one forbid me from joining in. This sounds quite joyless

Brora skill skirt https://www.broraonline.com/uk/silk-floral-block-print-maxi-skirt-damson-rose-ds8437fl8441

Right then, you get the best cashmere because you will wear that again, get three because that will make you feel great and polished and will lift whatever is on the bottom half. I’d get Brora, two sweaters and maybe a twin set. Brora often have some surprisingly nice summer frocks too (I say surprising because it isn’t what they are known for).
Do look at the Me and Em jersey trousers, they are super comfortable and I think you could wear day to day afterwards. They don’t crease (thinking if you are alternating between a lot of sitting and then walking with sticks - they are quite wide in the palazzo so make sure they won’t tangle in your sticks).

Boden? This sort of tea dress (they have loads) could work.

Or this shirt waister from Crew?

For jeans from NYDJ. Try Marilyn in Rinse for denim. They also do nice corduroys in that cut. Then get them hemmed to the correct length for you by someone local.

For a dress look at Boden. The amara dress are cotton jersey (so comfortable) and hang well. The bright colors will stand up against other floral dresses without being so busy and the embroidery gives it a bit of interest

John lewis have some Barbour bits in their sale including a lovely navy jumper. Their dresses are also quite nice and may fit the brief. Might be worth a look on vinted.

For formal evening wear, look at Wolf and Badger Midi dresses.

This is neutral and a classic that you could wear in lots of different ways

And this could work for the formal dinners, perhaps?

I'm excited for you!! What a fun weekend with family. I have ideas but am greedily looking at what's been suggested