Going out in July with beautiful young people. Fat and old. What do I wear???

[delilabell]

I am not a great person for going out for social occasions. Much prefer a meal in a pub.
Anyway, last year I had a breakdown and I have worked hard to get better and my confidence has increased. But I've put on loads of weight and am currently size 26. Please don't tell me to loose weight as it is something I am beginning but I cannot put pressure on myself

Anyway we are going into a city. They are young and beautiful and tje kindest people but I can't bare the thought of cold shoulder, butterfly covered clothes. I am so far removed to what is fashionable!
My belly and thighs are the biggest problem. Wide legged trousers look awful cos of my belly as they have to be so so big for the they are huge.
Also, I have big boobs ( gg ) and so can't wear strapless bras and I don't wear heels.
Please please give me some help!

Is it night out/dressy, or a day trip to a city? How old are you? And what do you tend to wear day to day? Might help with suggestions.

Honestly I can empathise with your dilemma. My go to is black 🤣

It sounds like you'd feel most comfortable in a maxi dress. You can wear cropped leggings/cycling shorts style pants underneath so there's no chafing if it's a warm day.

Make sure you have a really comfortable bra that properly supports your boobs and back. And I wouldn't go for apologetic black but something fashionable.

Not sure if this is your colour, but something like this JD Williams broderie (very fashionable) summer dress, which you could wear with trainers, so your feet are comfortsable if you are on the go all day. They have it in your size.

Or this blue and white floral by Joe Brown. I have a similar dress from them and it is so versatile. I wear it all the time and it gets a lot of compliments. Again, easy to wear with trainers so feet are comfortable, and has sleeves so you can wear a proper bra with it. They have it in your size.

Forgot to say those things. I'm 42. I wear midi dresses lots or (mumsnet will hate me for both of these) jeggings and tshirts or shorter dresses with leggings.
It's a late afternoon start including meal and cocktails.
I'll have a look at them both now. I have snag chub rubs which are amazing and also some lovely sandals (tourist by hotter I think)
Thank you for looking and supporting me

Long sleeve I would sweat if I'm near my period. 😬 I have fabulous bras that hold me really well and are also non wired. I look like I'm kn my 90s if you just see my bra but hopefully that won't be happening 🤣

Ohhhh those dresses mentioned by @RedBeech are lovely. I hope you have a wonderful time @delilabell . You deserve it.

This one is really nice!

Thank you so much @TheBadLuckOfTeelaBrown .

Not keen on either of those I'm so sorry.

But what about this? Do you think this is modern enough? With my sandals and a denim jacket I already have? (I wear trainers every day at work so would prefer not to if at all possible)
https://www.yoursclothing.co.uk/yours-curve-black-embroidered-puff-sleeve-maxi-dress-p?ltiCountry=GB&ltiCurrency=GBP&S=ADPRODUCT&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=19671795070&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIjY-Npd7BjQMVSZtQBh0K1w4vEAQYBiABEgIAu_D_BwE

Could you please mention your budget? You will get better help.

https://www.yoursclothing.co.uk/yours-curve-black-broderie-anglaise-midaxi-dress-p?ltiCountry=GB&ltiCurrency=GBP&S=ADPRODUCT&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=19671795070&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIjY-Npd7BjQMVSZtQBh0K1w4vEAQYBSABEgLbUvD_BwE

Or this one?

That Yours dress is a modern shape, but I think you can do better. And I don't think you need to hide in black.

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su399101/e80090

This is the kind of thing I’d go for, not sure if it’s your style?

Sorry @CharlotteRumpling another thing I forgot. 🙂
I need it to be cheap as possible. Ideally less than £50 as I've also got to pay for meal, train and drinks

Oh that is beautiful....might be an issue with buttons and boobs but it's lovely

I work with, and attend events with, a ton of beautiful young people and the best advice I can give is to try and find a groove that isn’t anything like competing with them. The most compliments I’ve had recently were for a midi sort of poplin/cotton heavily gathered shirt that has a lot of shape, sort of a bell shape? And a fitted-ish T. I only ever wear trainers, so do they though! Oh and a Joanie cardigan with a vest top and wide jeans.

Another tip is to find your colours - AI can actually help you do this, it’s brillliant, download an app called Claude and ask them (MN tip). If I’m wearing the right colour they always say ‘oh you look great’. Groomed nails if you’re wearing sandals, bit of lippie. But don’t try to do ‘them’ - do ‘you’.

OP, I really like the first link you shared. It’s so hard to find nice clothes in bigger sizes. Am just popping in here as someone with a similar body shape to ask where you get your fabulous bras from please?!

With that budget I would look at Tu. I have many bargains from them, all in cotton.
Something like this, though not this particular one as it doesnt go up to 26? It's cotton.
Tu dress

I like both the dresses you posted and the one EmmaD posted, and they are all things you'll get lots of wear out of.

Try to avoid building it up in your mind- they won't be expecting you to suddenly look different just because you are going for an evening out. Wear something you like and have a fab time.

I recently had an event that required an amazing dress. I'm also plus size. Karen millen plus size was where I found my dress. Worth a look?

This looks fine to me if you like it.

Cold shoulder tops are absolutely terrible on anyone of any size.

How about some loose fitting trousers in linen, a nice quality cotton t-shirt and a denim jacket? Wear your favourite fragrance and get your hair done, and some cute jewellery.

The most important thing is to know your friends won't be judging you or really paying much attention to what you look like.
They'll just want to have fun with you.

If you're going dancing then trainers or flats but otherwise maybe a chunky heel?

I think the second “yours” dress was better than the first.

what about this? The neckline is a good shape on bigger boobs. https://www.next.co.uk/style/su474993/aj4258

Agree cold shoulders are horrible.
All the dresses posted here are quite modern in shape and will look great on anyone of any size. And you can glam them up with jewellery or lippy.

I love this one in the navy!

This maybe? https://www.joules.com/style/su399280/e01606