38 and done with dye, growing out my grey hair

[BoogalooBoo]

I'm 38 and I've finally decided to let my natural grey hair grow out and stop dying it. I was naturally dark brown but for about 10 years the badger stripes have been getting wider and wider and now my roots are an even mix of salt and pepper. I've always dyed my hair back to brown either myself or at the hairdressers, but this time I just can't be bothered!
Been thinking about growing it out for years but always give in after an inch of white/grey/brown roots grow back. The regrowth is now at 2 inches and looks awful (a mix of light brown highlights in a clear line, natural brown and white and grey) but I'm hoping to hold my nerve this time... I'm excited and feel a bit defiant(?) I feel like I need a sign saying 'don't worry, it's deliberate, I haven't let myself go'.
Has anyone else grown out their greys in their 30s? Did you just go cold turkey or get highlights, or cut your hair short to speed it up? How long did it take?
Feels like the start of a long journey...!

Grey/white can be unflattering on some skin tones. More so than any other colour. I think that's why a lot of women who grow in their white hair go back to dye after a while. I colour mine, but will never go completely white, as the white halo every three weeks makes my skin look awful.

It's been almost 5 months since I last dyed my hair. I have about 3/4 inches of salt and pepper on top but am completely white around my hairline. It's not a good look but I can't be bothered with the constant upkeep, too much time and money.

I would love to do this but I have properly white hair. Not sure how they would be able to blend that with my reddish brown hair!

I’ve been going grey since my twenties and took the opportunity to stop dying during lockdown.

I don’t look older, I look exactly my age. 🙂My skin looks better because my hair is the right colour for my skin and isnt such a harsh contrast (something I notice with friends who are still colouring) .

My hair is much much better condition that it used to be now I’m not colouring it every 4 weeks.

My tips would be:

Make sure you get (and keep up) a really good haircut. You won’t look unkempt and it will be clear you haven’t just forgotten to colour it.

Pay attention to your make up - I had to change up my routine a bit to take my hair into account. I wear a bolder lipstick than before - it brightens me up.

Think about your eyebrows - I now darken my eyebrows just a little - helps me look fresher.

No one tells men they need to dye their hair look young. I’m a great fan of normalising grey hair in women.

So jealous of all the blending and other options.

I have the option of leaving it …but my grey is an horrible dirty colour all on my hair line around my face. And it’s curly different texture to my normal curly hair (sort of grows up and looks like it belongs elsewhere) For now I’ll carry on colour it …though 5/6 weeks is pushing it now! And it’s resistance to box dye so hairdresser it is.

Im willing to embrace grey just not willing to embrace my hairs version of it

OP I’m older (by quite a lot) than you but I have had WAY more compliments about my hair since I stopped dyeing it.

Im fair skinned so looking washed out was a concern but I use eye makeup and give my brows a bit of definition, and I wear bold glasses.

So sick of the ‘it’s ageing’ mantra. Very few women can avoid looking their age with hair dye, frankly, and the time inevitably comes when the dye itself is ageing. My two best friends died 10 and 5 years ago, far too soon, I’m determined to celebrate my age not conceal it.

How are you getting on @BoogalooBoo ?

I have not dyed my hair since October 2024 and it’s really starting to show now. I’m white at the front, salt and pepper regrowth all over to about 4-5 inches, brown underneath at the back and blonde everywhere else. I dont have the guts to go short short and went chin length and hate it because I can’t tie it back very well and it’s the devils own job to keep it straight!

I’ve used various purple shampoos and hair masks and the latest one I used turned my white lilac 😳

Bumping this thread to see if anyone else has given in yet or if they are still just plodding along?

I'm much older than you but started growing mine out during lockdown. Then I had a few lowlights put in to soften the roots line - I had that done twice over about a year. I had it cut as much as I could bear, because the dyed bottom part eventually went a horrible faded blorange, although I didn't go pixie short, more chin length bob.
I use blue/purple shampoo and conditioner weekly, and extra serum/leave in conditioner if it's feeling a bit frizzy. I noticed that if I had it wavy and layered, the root line wasn't as obvious as when I dried it straight, but wavy looks messier on me.

Hi @guestusername ! I was thinking about doing an update on here just a few days ago. So i had babylights all over my hair a few months ago, a big mix of blonde, white, light brown tones. I had compliments from everyone, even strangers! But then the dreaded dye line grew out by 2 inches so I went back last week and had T-bar highlights just on my parting and temples. These are much lighter again and blend with the underlying mix of grey perfectly. She cut it a bit too short, just skimming my shoulders, but I will now grow it out to my usual longer length. I'll see if i can upload a picture but block my face!
As a contrast I was at a wedding and a lot of guests in their 30s had very dark dyed hair, it actually looked awful and probably what I used to look like!

OK here we go, hopefully nobody will recognise me 😎

I’m 54 and going through this now. Wish I’d done it years ago. Actually I wish I’d never dyed it in the first place.

I'm 49 and as of my last hair cut there is no more colour in my hair. I'm not as grey as I thought I was, and I think the remaining hair is a flatter brown/black than it was. I thought it was all looking a bit flat so got a more adventurous cut than usual and hate it. So I'm not loving my hair. I also wear big dark rimmed glasses, and when I had highlights I think it wasn't as stark but now it's all looking kind of dark. So I think I have to figure out hairstyle/glasses/makeup etc to match the new hair tones. I had been admiring women out with hair like mine - curly dark with plenty of grey through, but hadn't been looking at their cut, glasses, colouring etc. so I need some help in that direction.

Op I assume you're not single and looking for a date?
I would bleach it lighter blonde so it's less of a start grown out

Janey mack I don't look that bad do I?! 😅

It's a massive change, I've found it changes the colour balance of my skin so make up is done a bit differently with a more pinky blush. I'm lucky to have dark eyebrows and long black eyelashes, and I've gone out without make up a few times now and honestly felt fine. With my dyed dark brown hair I was washed out with the spots and redness around my nose very pronounced! I wear light thin silver framed glasses which help to open the face up and have had lots of compliments on them, even from a 20 year old which made me delighted. I was even asked for ID a few weeks ago which hasn't happened for 10 years!
Hair will grow and make up and glasses can all be changed, have fun experimenting! You can always dye it a completely different colour too, pink anyone?!

I'm early 30s and been slowly going grey for years now and not touched it. Look a bit like a badger now but I can't commit to maintenance of dying it. I barely managed to get my hair cut a few times a year, I'm just too busy with work and kids and prioritise other things for both time and money. Maybe I will change my mind one day but I doubt it because I've gone this long already it would seem like such a hassle to suddenly start dyeing it. My DM is utterly affronted and regularly tells me I should get it dyed.

For me, it’s about your skin undertone. If it’s cool, you’ll suit grey. If it’s warm, your face is more likely to clash with the grey.
I’m warm toned and intend to dye my hair forever, as the white and grey patches just don’t look right on me.

OK 6 months later.... I was filmed for tv last week and bottled it, literally! I'd been growing everything out but tbh there was starting to be too much going on. Older dark brown at the ends, lots of highlights in the middle and roots at the scalp and temples. I wish I could afford to keep going with the babylights of lighter and lighter each time and cutting off the old darker bits. But then I got the call to be on camera and eek.... I got a bottle of semi permanent dark blonde and just applied it lightly to the worst bits. It's magically blended everything together so now all the colour kaleidoscope is in harmony with a calmer colour. So now we'll see how I get on going into winter. Hat season might help! Hope everyone is getting on better with their grow outs!

I went cold turkey in my early 30s and cut it all off into a pixie. I’ve never dyed it again. Get lots of complements on the colour and it’s now in a bob, have had a pixie at various times and just grow it out and then chop again.

I took the plunge and started using Plantur 39 brown shampoo. I no longer have salt and pepper roots or growing out blonde lengths 😀 my roots are now a little coppery for my liking but with prolonged use of the shampoo that should change, hopefully 🤞

Yes Plantur 39 has worked brilliantly for me too. It’s been a year now since I dyed my hair. So liberating! My grey hair is now a light blonde thanks to the shampoo. I do have a demarcation line half way down my hair but it’s really quite subtle.

After reading something on Mumsnet I started to use Plantur39 Brown shampoo and honestly I’m never dying my hair again.
Ive only been using it a few weeks and my grey is already looking like a warm caramel colour. So much easier than dying hair which just created a flat block of colour, my hair has different tones now and I love it.

Can’t recall who recommend it but thank you!

I stopped dyeing mine at 45. I have mid length hair. I spent a day in the hairdressers getting the colour stripped out and a neutral base applied, then purposely highlighted grey sections applied. It made the growing out process easier. It's now 100% natural to the nape of my neck and it turns out I have quite wide sections of paper grey and mixed grey colours throughout. I get a lot of compliments. I use purple shampoo to make the grey pop. My hair is soft and shiny and I save about £100 per month. It's a hard transition but totally worth it.

For those using Plantur 39, is it colour deposit only? I’m three years into growing out and sometimes miss my brown and would like to have some options but I could never go through the torturous grow out phase again. If I used it a few times would it wash out completely?

Confidence is sexy. Self worth is fucking incredible to experience without all the visual props and crutches we are told are so desirable... Your own hair tone suits your skin, and it is a direct line to all the women you've ever been blood related to since the dawn of time. That is beautiful.

@FamiChiki I absolutely LOVE this! Could not agree more.

I absolutely love my grey hair. It's long, thick and a bugger to manage, but it's my best accessory. I can now wear colours that never suited me previously, which is a bonus.