sexy but understated outfit for rare weekend away

[Scatternobrains]

Hubby and I are having a cheeky weekend away whilst our son is home from uni to look after the dogs. We are early and mid forties have been married for over 20 years. I have bought some gorgeous sexy black underwear, including suspenders (note to self don't forget to buy the stockings) to bring a bit of spice as I know he will love that.

I have booked a table for one evening in a very nice but quite relaxed restaurant. I would love put the underwear on to go out in and give him a flash enroute so he knows what he is waiting for him. However I dont want to look over dressed up, or it be so obvious that everybody else will know. I'm not thinking little black dress with seamed stocking and high heels. I think I want understated, tempting, tantalising and classy sexy rather than the full on raunchy, explicit sexy I would have done for him many moons ago.

I am about a curvy size 14, tiny waist, with huge boobs (34G), big hips, bum and quite large legs. I generally wear trousers or jeans day to day, haven't worn a short dress in years, but do wear maxi dresses in the summer. I prefer v necks or low neck because of my boobs.

I would love some some ideas, thoughts, inspiration, links photos on what I can wear over the top of the full sexy ensemble underneath. What would you wear? I think I am picturing a long dress of some description (I really don't like my legs & cankles), I don't have high heels, I do have a few pairs of kitten heels but I also don't want to look old fashioned or dated, perhaps more sexy modern fun. What shoes would you pair with the outfit too, as I am clueless on that also. I am happy to spend £200 ish if need be.

Any help will be grateful received, by me and him!

Why are you making this a gender thing... bloody weird, people just like what they like.

Because men don't bother with a male equivalent of stockings and suspenders. As @Pluvia says men just wear a nicer version of normal clothes

No idea why so many people are being so weird on this thread, op. I think it’s a perfectly reasonable question!!
I was in a similar position recently. Had some gorgeous underwear and stockings that I wanted to surprise my man with for his birthday, but as I usually only ever wear jeans, I wasn’t quite sure how to pull it off.
I ended up in a casual knitted dress and ankle boots. It was appropriate for where we were but allowed me to take it all off in one go once we got back to the bedroom. He very much appreciated it and still talks about it!!
Go for it and have a wonderful time!

I don’t think it’s patriarchal for men to like looking at women in underwear that deliberately draws attention to the female sexual characteristics of their bodies. I think that’s just basic sexual attraction.

And of course a man can tease!

Men can tease by hinting they're wearing "sexy" underwear?

For me the laughter induced by that would kill all interest.

All I can think of now is spider man pants!

I think this says a lot about the kind of men you know tbh. I know a lot of men who have fabulous clothes for going out, and believe me, there are plenty of options for “sexy” underwear for men, particularly within the gay community.

You are determined to find offence where there isn’t any. OP is going for a night away with her husband and all of this is perfectly normal and fine.

My husband has lots of very attractive and stylish going out clothes but I can't think of anything more of a turn off than sexy underwear for men.

Nothing to do with "finding offence". It would make me laugh and/ or I'd be embarrassed for him.

You clearly haven't walked down Old Compton Street at midnight on a warm summer evening...

They're not looking to atract heterosexual women.

There is a difference between between men and women. Unless you are lucky enough to have a man who looks like a male model, most of them don’t look that sexy in their underwear. Men find women in underwear sexy, regardless of whether the woman confirms to societal beauty standards. That is a key difference.

The fact that there is no (straight) male equivalent of suspenders is arguing apples and oranges. Women find other things sexy in a man, it maybe the way your favourite shirt fits him, it might be his hands, or it might even be him finding you sexy that turns you on.

Suggesting that wanting to be sexy for your partner is wrong is a very strange take.

My husband just bought some Christmas boxers in the John Lewis sale. He looks very sexy in them. Christmas and my gorgeous husband - my two favourite things in one!

Can you not read the wildly sexist generalization that was quoted?

Also, has it occurred to anyone that some people just actually like dressing up?
When you say "people" ...? You mean women. Men just wear nicer versions of their everyday clothes. Again, that's enough for us to find them sexually attractive.

Men very much do have an equivalent... sock suspenders, pants suspenders and garters where originally a male thing.

You don't find them sexy then fine (I don't either) and I also don't find women ones sexy either but they very much DO exist.

Most women (like men) now do not wear suspenders, the OP specifically said shes NOT looking for that but some still do,

I have known yuppie/Hipster type men than wear suspenders as part of the look. You make a lot of wildly sexist comments that just show you live an incredibly uncultured and sheltered life. I'm sorry you only know boring and slobby men but maybe you should expend your circle and expect a bit better but its very much a you settling and ignorance thing not reality.

There's so much nonsense in that post it's difficult to know where to start.

What does that matter? It only shows that all the "men do X while women do Y, men like A while women like B" generalisations on this thread are heteronormative and regressive.

Actually, no; when I said “people” I meant “people”. Men of all sexual orientations can and do enjoy clothes and looking their best, for themselves or for a partner.

I have known yuppie/Hipster type men than wear suspenders as part of the look

Are you American or do you mean braces? If by "pant suspenders" you mean trouser braces, those aren't limited to "yuppies" (does anyone still say "yuppie"?) My husband always wears braces with his dinner suit and a couple of other suits.

Well of course they do, but this thread isn't about general dressing up- it's about a very specific type of underwear.

https://www.reiss.com/style/su445061/ad9458?utm_content=search&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADy9EnoLYum11LEvXLk9woErCyS3R&gclid=Cj0KCQiA8fW9BhC8ARIsACwHqYrA8BKhPKJyQDqi0tgq7Cqnif9gU0xNUNTCl5hbnchsy0jR0BJiQ3QaAh_tEALw_wcB#AD9458 or maybe this

https://www.hush-uk.com/rosey-leopard-midi-shirt-dress-brown--black-leopard/013572-4604-4.html?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=dresses-jumpsuits-playsuits-skirts_existing&utm_content=nonbrand&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiA8fW9BhC8ARIsACwHqYoRN22H_4cvGjiSdGTaEYBhtarUbbrFmxEcBYHDSZU6pvYWhT7LCD0aAnW4EALw_wcB

And a tad over budget but Ba&sh have some lovely dresses left in the sale. They always hang so beautifully https://ba-sh.com/uk/p/dress-fazia-anthracite-3664784825418.html?_gl=11kryznp_up*MQ..&gclid=Cj0KCQiA8fW9BhC8ARIsACwHqYqTomUIe0-e-gVsYzVkDaDe7wqi6vBRyauiY_UMpNRJF64_sStAyBQaAj4mEALw_wcB

funny I thought the absolute same about your utterly ridiculous generalization that suggest you have ZERO world experience.

You post such utter crap as be all and end all fact that I struggle to believe anyone is that unaware of themselves so can only assume you are taking the piss to be deliberately disruptive.

And no I'm not American and suspenders are called suspenders. Yuppie has always been a word used in Britain to refer to the power suit style of the 80s for men, very 'apprentice candidate' style... have you never watched classics British shows like only fools and horses?

The quote I quoted LITERALLY says 'when you say people, you mean women', I was quoting the response... is everyone struggling to read today?

Yuppie was big in the 80s and 90s. I'd be embarrassed to show how out of date I was by using it now.

In the UK men do not generally wear suspenders (well, a few do but that's a bit niche)

These are braces. In the US they are called "suspenders" or as you put it "pant suspender"

Men's braces

Lol, I have had the help I needed, I have a banging outfit that I look and feel great in, and that I can also wear with or without suspenders. I don't see anything wrong with the fact that I feel sexy in suspenders, it may be old hat for some, but we are all entitled to like what we like and that doesn't have to mean I have been brainwashed by patriarchal scripts. It must have been a good 12+ years since I have worn them and I know from past memories how much my husband loved the effort I made, and I loved that for us both! He also loves and finds me attractive when I do look like Brian (I really am not Brian despite the ongoing suspicions). I am so excited to feel super sexy and have mind-blowing sex in a beautiful location, but likewise I am also super excited to wake up with him in the morning with my hair all over the place, no makeup, morning breath and think about what we have achieved in life and undoubtedly wonder if the kids are ok and if they have remembered to feed the dogs.

Yes my hubby probably wont be wearing highly sexy underwear, but he has invested in a new pair of Calvin Klein boxers in my favourite colour. To be fair I am not sure I would be turned on sexually by any mens underwear. He generally does take pride in what he wears, where as over time, that has fallen off my radar a little. I have also found it hard to find my new style given an extra stone or two that has appeared in the 23 ish years we have been together. Not to mention the fact my role in life has shifted a little from being a mum to something else thats in the making, and this is so exciting. He too has bought some new clothes that he knows I will like, and I cannot wait to see him in them. For me the effort and thought he has put else where is also super sexy. Our first date after meeting one weekend was a trip to the zoo, he has booked for us to visit the zoo near where we are staying, not only to reminisce on the start of our journey but also knowing that I bought a new lens for my camera last year and really wanted somewhere to put it to the test.

Regardless of sexiness, weekends away, for husband or just for me, with some of your ideas I have tried some clothes I might not have tried before and I love them. Thankyou!

As for the rest of the comments, I have chosen to ignore them as they aren't what I asked for and although food for thought on occasion, I am really happy with my intentions, my view of sexiness and my amazing man. And I most definitely wont be thinking of this chain of discussion whilst we are at the zoo, out for dinner, on a walk in the local area or more importantly when I feel and act super sexy whilst having mad passionate sex.

Enjoy your weekend peeps!