Aged so much in five years. So depressed

[Lookingoldandugly]

I’m 41 now and I was looking at photos from five years ago and I looked YOUNG. And I was quite pretty! I didn’t think it at the time but I must have felt better about myself because I did allow photos to be taken of me.

I cannot stand it now, I refuse to have photos, but that’s because I look so awful. It’s like the whole of my face has changed shape. I have had a rough few years personally and maybe it’s that? I am not really that much more wrinkled but I just look old and weary instead of young and optimistic - which I guess is how I feel.

Any advice? Do I just need to care less? I feel like it’s downhill from here on in!

I know this is S and B but before everyone rushes to suggest Botox and fillers, I will say that you do need to care a bit less ( I am 53).
Downhill from now on is called ageing.🙂

There's a whole host of things you can do between botox and nothing at all! Do you drink enough water? Get enough sleep? Eat well? Do you have a skincare routine?

I personally like face yoga and it does make a difference. I also did strength training for a while and it really toned my face and neck weirdly.

Tretinoin works very well for me but ot's not for everyone.
Also if you are peri, look at HRT.

Following as feel the same and I'm 44. Got that drip around my mouth and eyes and feel it's just happened overnight! Interesting tips from PPs. Might take that on board myself!

I think you need to start by being a bit kinder to yourself. Often the way we feel inside shows a lot on the outside. Getting more sleep, drinking more water and treating yourself can work wonders.

I turned 40 last year and for the first few months I was fine. Then I started noticing the odd wrinkle, my hair was dry, my boobs were a bit saggy, round my eyes looked dull. It was like going down a rabbit hole once I started. I’ve started to look after my skin and hair and just be a bit kinder to myself and most days I think I look pretty good. Not perfect but more than acceptable xx

I saw the title of your post and before I clicked on it, I said to myself that I bet it will be someone who is 41. Because I am too. And I feel exactly the same.

Please carry on having some photos with your family. I am so sad that there are none of my mum with any of us for at least the past decade as she hates aging so much. Her great grandchildren have none of them together let alone me and me my daughters. It's not nice getting older but it is inevitable if you are lucky. I suggest you make peace with it or you have a rocky 30 years coming up.

I know this is S and B but before everyone rushes to suggest Botox and fillers, I will say that you need to look to your diet.

Have you been ill at all? That or any other type of stress / trauma need a good deal of love and care for yourself in order to heal.

If you don’t currently grow your own - I suggest investment in a weekly veg box. And cutting down on sugar and artificial stuff.

Also fresh air, sleep and massage with a decent facial oil.

And as little stress as is possible to arrange.

I feel the same. I'm 40 and I've aged hugely in the last 4-5yrs since after having 2 kids. I look tired and haggard and my hair and skin look dry. I've also lost almost 6st and that has aged my face a surprising amount.

I'm getting married in a few weeks and I look like crap ☹️.

You need to get a grip 😂

Enjoy how you look now because if you’re lucky enough to make it to your 80s, you’ll think at 41 you looked like a child!

I sympathise OP, I feel the same at 42.
It's my profile I can't stand seeing - like suddenly have a saggy neck!
@redstripestar I'd be interested I'm face yoga, any reccomendentions?

I'm 39 and feel the same! Lost my Mum last year and I think the stress of it all has aged me even more 🫣 makeup doesn't even help anymore either if anything it makes me look worse.

However losing a loved one has made me realise it doesn't really matter and all that stuff, but I do still care that I'm looking older

A huge amount of this will be perception. There are lots of studies to prove that we feel different levels of attraction to others and the perception of how we look ourselves depending on mood. If you feel better about yourself you'll think you look better, I guarantee it, so I'd make that my priority if I were you. Try to address those causes that are making you feel down and worn out.

If your face has genuinely changed shape, that could indicate a drop in oestrogen. At 41 you may be able to counter that a bit with a really healthy diet but HRT may be an alternative if you have other peri symptoms.

Hope you feel better soon. 💐

I felt similar around 40 and hated it. It comes on fast.

My forties I was at my absolute best, I never looked better, then 50 and menopause hit and I literally aged overnight, honestly if you are in your 40’s enjoy it because if you can’t cope now you will struggle massively in ten years, 50 and post menopause is a completely ball game.

I’m 55 and 10 years ago would never confess to my age. I couldn’t believe how old I was. Now I look back at pictures of myself and think I looked great.

It’s all relative! Find some older friends to spend time with and you’ll feel younger.

Yes, I think around about age 45 are when you really notice it and it takes a few years to come to terms with the fact that your youthful looks are gone and will never be back. Perimenopause is a total killer for your looks and health generally.

I'm 51 now. I've come to terms with it. It'll be a year next month that I had my last period so I assume I'm actually through menopause now. I'm at the stage now at work where there are the women who are invisible to men now, and the younger ones who aren't. The irony is they don't realise how gorgeous they are and they seem to be less comfortable in their skin than us older ones.

You'll be fine, OP. It just takes some getting used to. Instead of fretting about it all, try to thiink about it as being lucky that you are able to reach this stage of your life. It is a privilege to be here, living your life.

Is something making you anxious or causing you unhappiness now?

Five years later you will think you looked lovely at 41. You are the most beautiful today so smile today. (Tomorrow is a little worse).

Don't be absent from photos though. Take them on the chin and be present in your loved ones life records.

Same here. Lost my lovely Mum (which was very traumatic), then had a baby a few years later. I look (and feel) awful! I'm not yet 40 and don't even recognise myself. It's like the stress and sadness and more recently lack of sleep is etched into my face, deep lines suddenly appeared and my face somehow looks both bloated and haggard at the same time. Which is a shame because I actually feel quite content with my life at the moment and my little one brings me so much joy. It irks me that I look so miserable!

However, I also try to keep in mind that aging is in fact a privilege we don't all have. I was expecting my Mum to live into her dotage - I lost her in her 60s. So I try to accept some of the changes, and when I have more time/money/headspace will perhaps look into making a bit more effort with skincare etc.

sorry to jump in but the moments on YouTube has amazing videos also trinhhgeorg

You need to care less. Age gracefully and remember there's nothing more attractive than a big smile and a positive attitude.

Same.

40 and lost a lot of weight and aged terribly.

I am much older than you and I also feel that I have aged hugely in the last 5 years. I’ve been putting it down to the stress of the pandemic. Try to consider ageing as a privilege. Not everybody gets this far.

Skin products, keep fit, god haircut. I feel your pain! If you have had a hard time you may naturally see an improvement