Help me stop looking like a mum

[SanctusInDistress]

I look like a mum, like a frumpy mum. I’m petite (under 5 feet) and a size 10, and I hate wearing heels. The only times I don’t feel like a mum is when I wear jeans, but I’m sick of always jeans. I like wearing skirts and dresses but I always end up looking like a white stuff catalogue (nothing wrong with white stuff, I love their stuff) but that’s the whole point, I want to look less mumsy and more ‘me’.

where do you shop? I hate synthetic materials, so it has to be stylish and not made of plastic. I love for example poetry and cos, but yiu need to be 6 feet and have the legs of a giraffe to carry off their looks.

I’m sorry you feel that mothers are all so uniformly recognisable purely by their clothes …

Anyhow - have you looked at all the brands listed here?

https://www.independent.co.uk/extras/indybest/fashion-beauty/womens-clothing/best-petite-clothing-brands-uk-women-b2263007.html

I’d love to look like a mum! To be someone’s mum is the most important thing. If you like white stuff just buy it, who cares what others wear or think?

Are you a mum? If so, you’ll look like one forever more.

First thing is that if you think you look nice, then there’s no need to worry. Second thing is to keep in mind the most mum-looking thing is to be conspicuously trying to dress ten years younger to not look like a mum.

What did you dress like before you were a mum?

I'm going to give the mum stuff a swerve because you sound so down.
Maybe you could tell us more about 'me' instead?
What does 'me' look like in your head?

Watching with interest. I’m sick of finding beautiful clothes only to be gutted because they swamp me. I’d anyone knows any great brands that do petites (especially if they have a boho vibe) please share!

@ChowMoWan I’ve linked a fairly extensive list at the top of the thread.

I love for example poetry and cos, but yiu need to be 6 feet and have the legs of a giraffe to carry off their looks.

Start by dropping that mindset. I don't have any Poetry but have lots of similar to Poetry. I used to wear a lot of Cos. I'm 5' 2".

Some of the most stylish people I know are mums!!

It’s all about dressing for your body. Throw trends in the bin. Throw what you “like” in the bin. If you are petite, dress for your body. I have countless things I’d love to wear but I would not because it will make me look frumpy.

Im average height and have a longer torso and short legs - so I wear things that elongate my legs and because I’m curvy then I dress to either bring out the curves or conceal it with baggy stuff. Depending on mood. I never wear heels because I want to be comfy - so I have shoes and trainers that are flat.

Do a Pinterest board for petite women. Go to a retail shop and try things on and look at the mirror. If you think it complements your body, that’s a style. If there is even a little bit of doubt, don’t buy it.

Once you find the items that suite your body, that’s all you need to buy. My wardrobe is made up of different versions of the same 5 things.

When you say you want to dress like you what do you mean? Who are you? What does looking like you look like. If we have an idea of your style preferences we can maybe give some thoughts

'Throw what you like in the bin'?

I'm not in the mood for an argument so I'm off. Good luck op and I hope you get some helpful answers.

I am a mum and yes I’m quite good at spotting one.

thank you for the link!

I couldn't disagree more with this advice. I don't know what OP is looking for other than she likes Cos and Poetry but has decided she can't wear them.

I don't think more limiting advice is the way to go.

You think you can spot 'mums' but i bet you often think people are mums who arent, and vice versa.

I think its just adult womens clothes, especially if they happen to be or to look comfortable or practical.

I’m a housewife. I have a job but not a glamorous job. My life is about making my childs and husband comfortable. I wear clothes to be comfortable and I also have sensory issues so can’t stand tight synthetic stuff. Comfortable clothes swamp me and make me look frumpy.

i think mums get the ‘I look like a mum’ look. Clothes that are quick and easy to throw on. Maybe it shows my age that I was a mum when it was actually a standing joke to say ‘I’m wearing my best mum jumper’. I am in early 50s. Teenage children.

I think a big factor is a total change of hair style. Go for something really different! Gives you a real boost!

I feel the same. I do associate certain brands with 'mum' and particularly muted colours. White stuff is always quite muted, so is seasalt. Stripes are very mumsy and feel like breastfeeding clothes which were admittedly great for disguising milk leaks but I don't want that now!

I wonder if some very strong colours would help?

Do you have mom's hair? Because I cut my waist length hair into a short style recently and my kids exclaimed that I look very nice and I look so much more like a mom now! Wow! 😂

I don’t see what’s wrong with looking like a mum personally, but now that I think of it, the only women around your age I know who I would think “they look like they definitely don’t have kids” are women who actually haven’t.

My life is about making my childs and husband comfortable.

Don't forget about yourself while you're at it! You're important too.

Wear fitted leggings (next) get a nice pair of good quality leather boots to balance out hips (I do this and I'm similar stats to you)

Off the shoulder comfy top or , half zip top
Invest in a good coat (Holland Cooper)

Always do your hair. I have a toddler so I slick mine back daily. Steam my face every 3 days, snail muercin for shine, take my vitamin supplements, moisturise, always keep my feet like a baby, minimal make up (mascara, concealer, brows and lipstick with gloss)

If I don't do this, I look so haggard!

I have Asian roots so I oil my hair with olive oil. Mayonnaise if it's dry on the ends for 30 mins.

Feeling tired today, so going to walk to the shop now dc has woken from his nap xx

Can you post a couple of photos? One that shows what you think a Mum looks like and one of how you would like to look ?

To avoid potential frump I would steer clear of anything patterned/floral. Stick to block colour. Tuck tops in skirts to give definition. Try Zara, H&M, Mango. I've noticed that younger women tend to avoid pattern. But it's a personal choice obviously.

Oh OP...I'm not even going to go there with the whole 'mum' thing. I think we all probably know what you mean but how you've worded it will definitely ruffle some feathers.

Anyway...to the issue...I feel that perhaps as you've aged & moved on from the messy hands on phase of motherhood it sound like you've lost your way with your own style somewhat?

I don't think you should let notions of 'shouldn't' guide you in decisions on what to wear.

The first thing is to have a think about what sort of 'look' you like & then start browsing on various brand websites to see how they've styled things.

I'm mid 50s & I am dressing as well, if not better, than i ever have. My dc are young adults / late teens. I have the income & time now to focus on myself more..

Last year I lost just over 2 stone & that's made a world of difference to me & my confidence

I'm tall & I know what styles I like & what works for me
.
I think it might be worth having a look at some brands like

Sezane
Ba&sh
Maje
Claudie Pierlot
Wyse
Me+em
Sandro
Essential Antwerp

These will give you some ideas to start thinking about . And once you know what you would like you can watch out for yhen in the sales or on vinted etc

Make sure you have a good coat that makes you feel great & a selection of excellent shoes that cater for all occasions & that go with the outfits you like. I'm building mine up to include trainers, loafers, laced flat shoes (dr martens style but nicer), heeled ankle boots & flat knee high boots. Couple of pairs of birkenstocks for summer.

I like lovely shoes & have bought from Toast, Plumo, ba&sh & me+em

I also have 5 or 6 nice leather bags