Help me stop looking like a mum

[SanctusInDistress]

I look like a mum, like a frumpy mum. I’m petite (under 5 feet) and a size 10, and I hate wearing heels. The only times I don’t feel like a mum is when I wear jeans, but I’m sick of always jeans. I like wearing skirts and dresses but I always end up looking like a white stuff catalogue (nothing wrong with white stuff, I love their stuff) but that’s the whole point, I want to look less mumsy and more ‘me’.

where do you shop? I hate synthetic materials, so it has to be stylish and not made of plastic. I love for example poetry and cos, but yiu need to be 6 feet and have the legs of a giraffe to carry off their looks.

I think at 50 and with teens this is about losing your identity and approaching empty nesting because your children aren't young toddlers to influence your wardrobe anymore.
Try to remember what style you like and then find places that cater to petites.

My life is about making my childs and husband comfortable

well I don’t think you can dress yourself out of this op. You can’t dress like ‘you’ because you don’t seem to know who you are and live for others. Turn that around and the style will follow.

OFGS people, give over! Of course we all know what she means by looking like a mum. I have a Seasalt Janelle coat - super practical, when I wear it I look like a mum, as does everybody else who has one whether they are a mum or not.

OP, I would start with coat, hair and shoes - these are the peak "mum look" danger zone and where you can make the quickest impact.

I’m a housewife. I have a job but not a glamorous job. My life is about making my childs and husband comfortable.
😂

I think this must be mindset specific. I certainly don’t see that look around. The only person I can think of who wears a Seasalt Janelle is a very cool forager who supplies my friend’s restaurant, has long red, curly hair and a nose ring. Looks like Boudicca in DMs.

No idea what a Seasalt Janelle is. Am I not a mum? Never set foot in this shop, not my taste.

I don’t know what you mean by ‘looking like a mum’ but the words frumpy etc always crop up. It’s more derogatory stereotyping to pigeon-hole women and criticise them for not being ‘right’. It’s nasty.

I too have never set foot in a Seasalt shop - but fortunately I have an unbelievably advanced phone that has something called … Google on it. Get a better phone!

Leaving aside the sniping over words...For me it is about being intentional to get a look rather than 'X shop threw up on me.'

So eg the lady above with the jacket and DMs & red hair - she has probably chosen a jacket that sets off her hair etc.

Or wearing baggy because it works with your outfit. And it's about degrees. I am slim and quite flat chested so for a volume look I don't need to size up as much as a bigger woman otherwise I look like a kid in my mum's clothes.

Accessories/lipstick are such a quick way to lift a plain outfit

I think having a nod to current trends (just in shapes, not slavishly) is a good way of avoiding the 'I last thought about my own style before my kids were born' look

This

I'm not a mum, sooo... but I agree with the PPs who suggested a radical haircut as a kickstarter. (It generally grows back.)

Also, when I was in a general style rut, with my cheap silver hoop earrings, one in each ear, pierced in my twenties, I went and got a couple more piercings in each lobe and got a bit more radical. (Still contemplating a septum piercing/or a bar but I'm a coward). It might help to see yourself differently.

Good luck.

I wear the same things I wore before I was a mum with a nod to current trends. So wide leg jeans or trousers instead of skinnies, I updated my trainers (I personally love On Cloud trainers as gazelle etc are too uncomfortable), I wear tighter or slightly cropped tops to give me some shape, I wear chunky/oversized cardigans instead of more twee ones. To make it easier to put looks together I stick to a simple colour palette I love & only buy something if I have something else it will go with.

ETA: unless I’m doing a school run & my hair is just chucked in a bun, I style it. I usually curl it using a wand & wear it down. I add a texture spray & mess it up a little.

My life is about making my childs and husband comfortable
Get rid of that mindset and put yourself first.

In this situation, I go on pinterest, find a celeb I like who is my height, colouring, and look at what they wear. Casual wear.

Then I get a hair cut, have a beauty evening, sort out my wardrobe, make up and skin care. I let my teenagers advise me.

Then I look lovely for a bit, all polished and chic, before I slip back into jeans and a white cap sleeve t shirt and trainers every day. And get on with housework and ensuring everything is as it should be.