I want to be a glossy 4x4 mum

[glossystyle]

I’ve got major envy for those glossy mums who always look effortlessly put-together, the ones who pull up in a gleaming 4x4, wearing an immaculate coat, perfect jeans, and trainers that somehow look fresh and stylish instead of like they’ve been through a muddy football field. Their hair always seems bouncy, their nails are pristine, and they make juggling kids and life look so chic. I know the reality underneath will be different to this perceived polish but I fantasise about gliding around like a glossy mum.

I’m determined to give my wardrobe and look a bit of an upgrade, but I can’t afford to throw money around. I’m obsessed with Vinted, and I’d love some advice on what kind of brands or key pieces I should be looking for to recreate this vibe. Think understated luxury, nothing that screams flashy, just timeless, polished style. I am 42 and would love to dress youthfully but established.

I also feel like there’s some secret to their beauty routines, always glowing skin, neat nails, and perfectly styled hair that looks natural but clearly isn’t. Is this the magic of a Dyson Airwrap and Charlotte Tilbury, or am I missing something?

Basically, how do I create this effortless gloss without bankrupting myself? And is there anyone else out there reinventing themselves via Vinted too? Would love any tips, tricks, or recommendations to help me nail the look! Thank youuuu.

I think this just goes to show that everyone has different ideas of what the ‘glossy well put together’ look is. I just looked at Cleo Lacey’s Instagram - to me she does not represent the look I thought OP was asking by about (she is the opposite of the classy/effortless look I had in my head - she wears lots of make up and has obvious lip filler etc).

The OP has asked how to look like a 'glossy bouncy 4x4 mum', and someone wearing leggings, sports socks, big donkey trainers and a puffer jacket is the complete opposite of the look the OP had asked about.

Extra points if you can run over a small dog 😄

@LarkinAboot you've nailed it. After 9 years of young child rearing I want to enjoy what I wear. Pre kids I enjoyed when I made the effort and would usually have a better day because of it. The state of the things I've been wearing would make steptoe and son cringe.

This isn't my main aspiration in life for goodness sake. Surprisingly I am very cultured and very well travelled with a business and hobbies. This thread is a little bit of fun. I am asking for advice on how I can 'glow up' and feel a bit more glossy. I'll still be listening to Puccini & Wagner in my shiny 4x4.

Now I have to correct you there , Harold Steptoe scrubbed up well , had a Family Business and a horse .
Quite debonaire

I agree with you, I also would not have considered that the look OP was going for, to me, that's too obvious and brashy (hair too long, too highlighted, too much makeup, clothes too revealing, face too 'altered').

The look I imagined OP wanted was more subtle and understated, with voluminous hair.

Invest in a decent wig so your hair is always perfect. Lasts longer than a haircut and you don't need to style it every day!

I am amazed at the view that you have to be skinny to be "glossy" or groomed.

The OP has asked how to look like a 'glossy bouncy 4x4 mum', and someone wearing leggings, sports socks, big donkey trainers and a puffer jacket is the complete opposite of the look the OP had asked about.

Tbf plenty of people wear the above with bouncy hair & drive 4x4s. It’s not my idea of glossy as you say.

I am amazed at the view that you have to be skinny to be "glossy" or groomed.

Are you new to MNs? 😆

Time, money and a shit tonne of anxiety about what people think about you.

Agree - that's proper "old money". The people I know who are old money and v wealthy, are definitely not glossy.

Why are you amazed? This is the general world view, it isn’t unique to Mumsnet.

That's what I was thinking. I can do a full face in under 5 mins. I can also take all day if I have the time and want to. But generally it's 5 mins. It takes longer to do skincare and brush teeth than apply makeup.

I always found it funny how the genuinely well off - we’re talking estate owning, generations rich - always looked as scruffy as me! And the 4x4 was an old, dirty estate or maybe an ancient Disco.

I think comments like this sound judgemental of these 'type' of mums. What if they judged mums that made less of an effort with their appearance? That would be seen as wrong. Why is it frowned upon if women make an effort? It is possible to look 'glossy' with a career, hobbies, a family as I have seen women like this. I have small children so not personally a 'glossy' mum, don't understand why people can't let people be instead of judging them. 'Glossy' 'non glossy' value people as people. I know some posters have said they wouldn't want to talk to women who are glossy why?! It sounds like they are intimidated by them even jealous possibly, which is their issue not the glossy mums issue

Cleo Lacey is not the look I'm aspiring too. Think more of a blend of Kate Middleton and Rosie Huntington-Whitely. Are there any non celebrity influencers who are nailing this look I can research?

I guess I am more 'amazed' in 2024 that this is still the blinkered view. I am 'slim' but I also know numerous 'larger' ladies that are perfectly groomed and effortlessly well turned out.

A good haircut
Good teeth
No acrylics or gels
Very light make-up (three minutes to apply)
A good diet
Well made, well fitting clothes, a good coat or jacket, good shoes or boots.
Simple jewellery
Simple bag
Self discipline

I think I have achieved it. It took a lot of money and is depressingly mostly about being thin, but also changing spending on clothes to spending on services.

• dermatologist (acne gone, fillers dissolved and regular injectable moosturising treatments and Botox only)
• weight loss from 13 stone to 8.5 stone and then tummy tuck for the excess skin (personal trainer + expensive gym membership)
• the weight loss took my boobs from a 32H to a 28E
• Brazilian blow dry
• laser hair removal.
• semi permanent very very subtle eyeliner - you can’t see it but it makes my lashes look thicker

the non money/very cheap things are:

• bothering to paint my nails (keeping them short)
• Maintaining weight loss
• keeping eyebrows plucked
• at home eyelash curling kit - together with the eyeliner and finally acne free skin I don’t need make up anymore.
• don’t have any diamonds and very little real metal jewelry, but I have some cubic zirconia studs and tiny gold coloured hugging hoops and a tiny gold chain in that special metal that looks like gold and doesn’t rust.

I buy cashmere and wool coats on Vinted, going for massimo dutti or uterque or similar.

I am often told how glowing and glossy I am, but I barely sleep, my car is shamefully dirty and messy, my house is a mess too. I have a very stressful professional management job and the way I look has helped me progress in it a lot - whether this is my own confidence or whether people respond to me much more differently now, I don’t know. I don’t have inner peace. I’d like my inside to reflect my outside more.

Eating really well - no crap, but lovely nutritious food, is the secret to being skinny but also having good hair and nails. Louise Parker is a good place to start.

Hang out with other glossy mums, as that creates some subtle peer pressure. If you can, combine that with regular exercise.

Make your next hair appointment before you leave the salon (not when you finally notice the inch of grey, or uneven ends). Ditto for other appointments - nails, dentist etc.

If your time for yourself = exercise and skin care it’s so much easier than if your self care routine is non- appearance related.

Eating really well - no crap, but lovely nutritious food, is the secret to being skinny but also having good hair and nails. Louise Parker is a good place to start.

Certainly wasn’t the case when I was modelling!

Fair enough - I wouldn’t call either of them glossy 4x4 mums though, they are much more old money/Chelsea girls. Glossy 4x4 to me is more of the Essex vibe.
You could follow Lydia Millen who is basically cosplaying Kate Middleton at this point but most of what she wears isn’t affordable or practical, or most of the influencers who claim to live in the Cotwolds but actually live in Banbury or Milton Keynes

@Ineedanewsofa I suppose a modern Sloane could also be a description. Ideally looking for someone who has kids and in their 40yrs. Lydia is not genuine imo.