I want to be a glossy 4x4 mum

[glossystyle]

I’ve got major envy for those glossy mums who always look effortlessly put-together, the ones who pull up in a gleaming 4x4, wearing an immaculate coat, perfect jeans, and trainers that somehow look fresh and stylish instead of like they’ve been through a muddy football field. Their hair always seems bouncy, their nails are pristine, and they make juggling kids and life look so chic. I know the reality underneath will be different to this perceived polish but I fantasise about gliding around like a glossy mum.

I’m determined to give my wardrobe and look a bit of an upgrade, but I can’t afford to throw money around. I’m obsessed with Vinted, and I’d love some advice on what kind of brands or key pieces I should be looking for to recreate this vibe. Think understated luxury, nothing that screams flashy, just timeless, polished style. I am 42 and would love to dress youthfully but established.

I also feel like there’s some secret to their beauty routines, always glowing skin, neat nails, and perfectly styled hair that looks natural but clearly isn’t. Is this the magic of a Dyson Airwrap and Charlotte Tilbury, or am I missing something?

Basically, how do I create this effortless gloss without bankrupting myself? And is there anyone else out there reinventing themselves via Vinted too? Would love any tips, tricks, or recommendations to help me nail the look! Thank youuuu.

These are lovely styles! Thank you

Love your self more op you will shine.
Im a bigish girl i dont have a 4x4 and im not glammed up.
But i love who i am and that helps.
Never compare to anyone dont blend in stand out.

White shirts. They don't have to be expensive but they do have to be 1. Clean 2. IRONED 3. Made of cotton.
Wearing one colour for your whole outfit makes it look more put together.
Or colour combinations....
Black and camel
White and navy
Mustard and navy.
Go on Pinterest and look up ' capsule wardrobe' that will give you ideas

Yup, this!

I am a long way from what you’re aiming for… however a Brazilian blow dry has been life changing (ok, hair changing) for me. I no longer have terrible hair days, I can spend 10 mins blow drying it and get a better effect than spending an hour on it previously. Does involve throwing money at it, but a big step towards glossy and bouncy!

I also like the country style as someone else said above- good pair of Dubarry boots- I have good dupes, will find the link- I do wear them riding but also great for country walks with skinny jeans and a green quilted coat/ cashmere jumper.

Loving all of this insight. Thank you everyone. I'm confident in myself but I just want to give my look a little polish so I can feel like I've emerged from my slob by cocoon.

https://www.naylors.com/16494827/moretta-womens-bella-country-boots-brown-16494827/4155592/?istCompanyId=684339d5-dfdd-4b40-a421-3f1a725421f6&istFeedId=d3d02029-20dc-4a68-8a63-dd4cf0f58b87&istItemId=pamqawiqq&istBid=t&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAo2TZiF-ZcUJkcjT_SazV0cU8-Im4&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIqNyFmfHIigMVdJxQBh3_hgmQEAQYAiABEgLNXPD_BwE

A Brazilian blow dry will keep hair looking good for around 3 months with just a quick blast with the hairdryer after washing. Gel nails in neutral colours will last for 2-3 weeks as will tinted eyelashes and brows. Then all you need do in the morning is slap on some tinted moisturiser and lippie

For clothes I would choose a uniform which works for you maybe in different colours to ring the changes. So potentially good dark blue and black and white jeans of the same style (I like J Brand or Paige), with 5 similar tops in different colours (J Crew is good for these), decent coat, scarf and boots and bag (Russell and Bromley boots last for ages if well cared for).

Takes the mental load out of the mix at least!

You can do small things too to help look and feel more pulled together-I always put on concealer, mascara and do my brows before leaving in the morning.
A good haircut and colour or highlights goes a long way.
I have my nails done every 4 weeks.
Little things like this really make a difference.

Blow dry your hair well after washing and it should last 3/4 days - on day 3/4 do a low ponytail, low bun or in a claw clip if needed. Wear it one length (no weird layers or styles) and get natural highlights or lowlights put in. Add serum and finishing spray for shine.

Plain jumpers in beige, camel etc with jeans/wide leg trousers and trainers (gazelles,spezials,vejas). Can get nice jumpers from H&M or m&s on a budget. A nice coat over the top in another neutral colour.

Leggings and hoodie for a sporty look with sports socks and more chunky sporty trainers. Wear with a puffer coat. Hair thrown into low bun like you’re about to go to the gym.

Look after your clothes and shoes - hang them well, have them organised, wash them carefully, keep shoes/accessories in boxes stored correctly. Take pride in your things.

Moisturise daily and a cleanser (no need for expensive brands just get into a good routine). Minimal make up but make it dewy. Do your eyebrows even when not wearing make up.

Go to the dentist regularly. Look after nails with manicure and simple polishes. Drink plenty of water (buy a big Stanley style cup for your car). Eat clean. Do some form of exercise - daily walk, yoga, Pilates, gym whatever you like.

Big blow drys or weaves. Very regular hairdresser appointments, manicures, facials, make up, maybe a bit of botox, expensive clothes.

I’m a glossy 4x4mum… after 19 years of slopping around in Tu from Sainsburys, complete with babyfood/bakedbean stains, short split nails, muddy trouser cuffs, unruly course curly hair that I got cut once every couple of years, a face that I cleansed, toned and moisturised daily for 2 weeks before I forgot the routine due to being too flipping busy. Some days I was never quite sure if I’d remembered to brush my teeth as it was a hit the road running kind of life with 2 SEN kids each morning after maybe 4hrs sleep (one is a night roamer with MH issues).

However, in 2023/24, I lost 6stone, started HRT, finally found a hair dresser that gets my hair and am booked in every 10weeks, got a Dyson airwrap for Xmas (not opened it yet) and a shit load of Clarins from Santa. Had a post weight-loss mega shop in Reiss and Mint Velvet, and acquired a shiny new 4x4 after writing mine off in a RTA 8 weeks ago (pensioner decided to slam breaks on on dual carriage way) …BUT my kids are 16 and 19 now and for the first time since having kids I finally get to shower every bloody morning, style my hair properly a few days a week, and put make up on every morning. Still get covered in mud walking the dogs, and my nails are still wrecked, but the only reason I can look ‘together’ now is TIME. As I finally have some.

I can only assume those glossy mums who have been doing this all along, giving dishevelled mums the side-eye, must get a good night’s sleep, get up early to get themselves together… and maybe have a lot of home help!?

On Vinted I’d look at materials rather than brands. Filter for jumpers and jackets made from wool, cashmere etc.

I’ve had some great buys from Vinted and eBay by doing this - including a tweed Max Mara blazer, and a cashmere navy long (unworn but vintage) Jaeger coat.

I think there are variations of the sort of look you describe - so what sort of thing appeals to you most? You could look polished and preppy in straight/slim jeans, loafers and a fine knit merino jumper with a classic coloured coat (camel?) or go for more of a pretty prints, silk shirts and jeans vibe (have a look at Sezane for inspiration), or an oversized high end puffer with leggings and cashmere jumper sort of look. Maybe worth defining exactly what you like in a bit more detail?

Other than clothes, you might want to look at some treatments like getting your nails done (or doing them yourself) getting a good hair cut/colour and thinking about getting your brows groomed or LVL lashes.

i hate myself saying this but if you are a size 10 and attractive then you can wear any shite and “be glossy “

I had a student mate who was petite and perma tanned we used to play game of going into charity shops and I’d always make her put on the nastiest outfit - she ALWAYS looked great ! She had Hair like a frazzled birds nest , would never let me condition or style it , no one gave a shite as she was chic French / Spanish and could cook like nigella … aged badly due to sun damage is nearly 6o now and looks like an old handbag who has smoked 30 a day

no amount of style advice is going to transform anyone into Kate moss ….

i want to be that mum at the school gate who makes me smile who I am please to bump into who I can talk to and feel like I can be myself around

@glossystyle this is an aspiration of mine too!

Agree with @Ineedanewsofa's suggestions, but here are a few tips I've picked up in my own journey:

. Expensive clothes does not mean good quality (avoid M&S, Next, H&M, and fad brands such as Me&Em, Claudie Pierlot, Self Portrait, Reiss (basically most things from Selfridges))
. Buy fewer (more expensive but) good quality pieces (e.g. casual - Sezane, Petit Bateau, Max Mara the Weekend, work wear - The Fold, Hugo Boss)
. Invest in natural fiber clothes instead of polyester (cotton, linen, wool, silk)
. Buy shoes only from shoe shops that have good arch support (check out Penelope Chilvers)
. Layer clothing (e.g. cotton shirt under cashmere vest/jumper with wool coat on top)
. Find a good tailor who can fit things to your body shape
. Buy good quality jewelry (Missoma or second hand real gold) if you are small go with dainty jewelry or medium sized if you are medium etc. aim to have at least a ring and earrings but don't have earrings, necklace, bracket and ring at the same time
. Keep nails polished with at least a clear varnish (also Chanel nail varnish is the best and are a small luxury at £29 but makes a great stocking filler request)
. Buy a well structured bag in a neutral colour (avoiding black) and match with belt - keeping the size of accessories balanced with your own size (e.g. if you are small use small accessories, or filler figured/tall larger accessories

Appreciate the suggestions I have made don't come cheap, but Vinted is a great way around this and it's a work in progress for you to build up your wardrobe and style over time. It's a fun process though, enjoy!

I’m likely not a glossy Mum but anyway..

H&M do understated simple clothing which looks smart and classy. No brands/labels on show.
Hair - use hair oil when you can and back comb for volume/use volume spray.
Makeup - keep it simple. Focus on skin care instead.
Car - much prefer a saloon to an SUV, can still be a 4x4 if you need it.

I don’t wear the style you’re talking about (I’m either in gym wear, jeans/uggs or wide leg trousers and a giant coat) but I do get regular compliments about looking much younger for my age. I use a Tumeric face masks from lush once a week, I also dermaplan my face (at home -you tube is great for tutorials) every 3months which gets rid of that peachy fuzz on my skin, never sleep with make up on, take collegen, lions mane and rishi mushrooms supplements, and also eat a really healthy diet… salmon is great for the skin. Oh and lots of water and only two cups of coffee a day.

My hair is thick and curly so I always deep condition it every Sunday, blow dry it with a defuser and wear a satin bonnet to bed.

I always think a max mara coat is elegant, along with nice jeans that are just the right length, Agolde seems a popular choice, nice cashmere jumper, nice trainers. Golden Goose ones seem a popular choice but I can’t imagine spending that much to buy trainers that look worn.

Light make up, a little cream blush, some Chanel cream bronzer, a slick of mascara and a tinted lip. Also the great hair, no flat one dimensional colour. Weekly masks help. Funnily enough the best one I’ve used recently is called Money.

Not that this is how I turn up at the school gates

I’m that mum that makes zero effort but gets compliments - and it’s simply because if I don’t like it, I won’t buy it. And I tend to buy things that are practical - I also have family that work in the clothing world who gift me things so that helps - but the reality I find is that these mums probably wear these “cool clothes” because it’s just there.

Check your clothing label and aim to buy good quality fabrics - wools, cottons etc. also have a few cool Tshirts.

Go on Pinterest and create a board of what you want to dress like. And look into what suites your body shape. I’m 5’5 with a long torso and short legs - so you will already see me in high waisted trousers - flared or baggy to cover my chunky thighs and I’m always in a turtle neck (because I’m always cold!). I also dress for comfort forst.

I usually get compliments from other parents. But the secret is having 2-3 looks that you can just throw on. I have a bunch of maxi dresses that I chuck on in the summer. I also have a “cool coat” - I have a cousin that gifted it to me and she is way more stylish! But I’d say go for a bright colour - or a sleek black.

I wear sunglasses because I squint really bad - but that helps.

I had a corsa for a long time but now have a 4x4 because of a bad back and having a new baby - and someone sadly reversed into the previous car. And my family couldn’t fit in my corsa (my parents are getting older and need more driving around) - so 4x4 is practical,

Im here to say that I think a small percentage of people purposely look cool - chances are - it’s who they are and how they dress. And what they buy.

I have a rule in my house - if you don’t buy sweets, you won’t eat them. And I have a similar rule for clothing.

My hair is always a mess so I always have a hat or scarf! Again - not meant to be cool - practical. But when I see my other mum friends with a hat it stands out (but they are usually wearing a hat to hide bad hair!)

There's quite an obvious style divide in our school between the mums that work full time ( ie throw anything on to run to school pick up between meetings) and those that have time in the day to select clothes, put on make up etc. It is what it is really.

Take a hair skin and nail supplement daily
Regular haircut
Good quality clothing (Uniqlo and M&S are both great budget options)
Look at how best to style your clothes - I recommend Nina Lee Caine and Lydia Tomlinson on YouTube for fashion and styling tips
Drink lots of water, exercise regularly, get a decent amount of sleep

Et voila! You are glossy! 🥳

I also feel like there’s some secret to their beauty routines, always glowing skin, neat nails, and perfectly styled hair that looks natural but clearly isn’t. Is this the magic of a Dyson Airwrap and Charlotte Tilbury, or am I missing something?

Just getting things done regularly and professionally.

Go to a skin clinic and ask what they’d recommend you do - there are various treatments available that really improve skin appearance, albeit expensive.

Good products help - a research piece for you there. I switched my products around recently and people assume I’m wearing makeup when I’m not.

Brows professionally done. Nails you can do at home but you have to commit to doing them regularly.

Hair - again, getting it done helps. If I can help it I get a blow dry twice a week, and it lasts. My ex MIL never washes her own hair, she just gets it done, and she’s the epitome of glossy.

Regular spa days, facials, workouts, good diet. Tan.

Very little of the ‘gloss’ is homemade treatments, getting your face and hair done professionally makes a huge difference.

This has been the best evening reading! Thank you everyone. So much food for thought. I am low maintenance so this glossy look is going to take some effort to achieve. I've been on hrt a year and this has improved my skin no end. Now I want to build up my wardrobe for this new phase of life not my kids are both at school. I'm going to try for a glossy drop off at the start of term.