I want to be a glossy 4x4 mum

[glossystyle]

I’ve got major envy for those glossy mums who always look effortlessly put-together, the ones who pull up in a gleaming 4x4, wearing an immaculate coat, perfect jeans, and trainers that somehow look fresh and stylish instead of like they’ve been through a muddy football field. Their hair always seems bouncy, their nails are pristine, and they make juggling kids and life look so chic. I know the reality underneath will be different to this perceived polish but I fantasise about gliding around like a glossy mum.

I’m determined to give my wardrobe and look a bit of an upgrade, but I can’t afford to throw money around. I’m obsessed with Vinted, and I’d love some advice on what kind of brands or key pieces I should be looking for to recreate this vibe. Think understated luxury, nothing that screams flashy, just timeless, polished style. I am 42 and would love to dress youthfully but established.

I also feel like there’s some secret to their beauty routines, always glowing skin, neat nails, and perfectly styled hair that looks natural but clearly isn’t. Is this the magic of a Dyson Airwrap and Charlotte Tilbury, or am I missing something?

Basically, how do I create this effortless gloss without bankrupting myself? And is there anyone else out there reinventing themselves via Vinted too? Would love any tips, tricks, or recommendations to help me nail the look! Thank youuuu.

Lots of hobbies will be behind this look. Pilates, yoga, meditation, skiing, tennis, travelling, swimming, reading and culture.

It surprises me you would automatically assume otherwise. Volunteering, sitting on different boards and/or charity fundraising is also pretty standard.

Why is reading and culture behind this look? What is “culture”? I’m getting confused now, I thought it was about wearing cashmere jumpers and having regular eyelash tints?

Essential or too much? https://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/gwyneth-paltrow-defends-vagina-steaming-advice-a7145026.html

@Lostinmusic22 I enjoy all of those hobbies. Plus horse riding and open water swimming. I do not drive a 4x4 or look glossy.

It’s not enough to project a look. It’s one dimensional, and just one aspect of a bigger picture.

Noone needs a 4x4 most of the time. They are horrible for the environment. You should envy me in my little polo instead :)

It’s all getting a bit Great Gatsby

I'd love to know what products you switched to?

(Want to look my best on dates rather than the school run 😁)

I find this post quite sad actually. The perception of money, looking good and ‘happiness’ all assumed by a daily drop off/pick up and how well presented the mother is….

If that’s the aspirations these days no wonder we live in such a shit world.

I think it's doing the boring unfun things first - like cutting fingernails. and toenails, getting those stray chin hair electrolysed, removing excess body hair
(yes I know it's natural and I should have accepted and delighted in my pre home IPL furry limbs), pumicing your heels, puuting on hand cream and lip salve, tidying up and/ or dyeing greying or mousey eyebrows. That goes along with regular dentist and dental hygienist visits, keeping up your hair colour and sticking conditioning packs on your hair on a fairly regular basis and washing it rather than dousing it with dry shampoo so it smells odd and looks dull. Scrubbing the rubber edges and muddy soles of sneakers down with an old tooth brush and some mild abrasive cleaner and washing or replacing the laces and giving the sneaker a a polish with neutral nugget or a waterproofing spray is the way of the pristine sneaker. I feel exhausted just listing all this.

Try to wear 2-3 colours as a maximum. Don't buy pieces that are pretty but go with nothing else you own. Remove everything that doesn't fit you or suit you or is falling to pieces from your wardrobe. It was personally painful for me to accept that while still slim I had gone up a size and those very small sizes hanging up were a constant reminder. Look if by some miracle you lose 5 kg you're probably going to go out and buy new clothes rather than wear those dusty relics. Buy clothes for the body and life you actually have - no point in having cute cocktail dresses which are a bit on the small side if the social event for the week is accompanying the biology class on a field trip to the rocky shore.

Why don’t you just leave your own ideas rather than quoting mine? Hate it when people feel the need to do this. If you don’t agree fine but literally every youngish cool glossy person at the school gate here does this for a dressed down look.

Well I suppose a high bun would be worse but do people really wear their hair in a low bun at the gym. Pony tails sure but a low bun? So as to not to be seen as criticising without suggesting an alternative, I find those circular brushes with the incorporated blow-dryer can give an almost professional blow dry result minimising frizziness at least for straightish hair especially if there is a bit of root lifter sprayed on the roots on top first. I use one that doesn't rotate and I find it handy because I can't hold a blow-dryer and a brush and work them together.

Yes, the whole thing is a bit shallow but I do like to look somewhat put together just for my own sense of wellbeing. I am a in a position though where I sometimes see what goes on behind closed doors and I can tell you that you shouldn't believe all you see. That well-groomed woman may be worried out of her mind because her marriage is on the rocks, they are up to their eyeballs in debt and she hasn't worked in a decade and has no particular marketable skills.

I think you need time/ and or money really.

I have always loved fashion and would get up extra early when I had 3 under 5 to put on make up and wear something nice because it made me feel better in myself.

So much easier mine are now all older. I don't work and we are comfortable so able to see a PT regularly, go to pilates etc. Also accepted I have fine hair that works better in a bob than longer - get it cut and coloured very regularly - probably every 6 weeks.

I do botox and subtle fillers and have also done profhilo and morpheus 8 - the latter was pointless and incredibly expensive.

I am slim and often in gym kit as go to the gym a lot. But otherwise in jeans and generally a cashmere jumper in this weather.

I think dressing appropriately for the occasion is also key - so I watch a lot of children's sports at weekends and the main priority is being warm and dry.

I also think keeping an eye on what is in fashion so changing styles of jeans for example.

But mostly it is meant to be fun. I enjoy all this stuff but really don't care if others don't and never judge people by it. In fact I suspect from comments I have received over the years that I am more judged for caring :)

Well first of all it’s often they aren’t going to the gym but also absolutely yes, I would say the majority would have their hair in a slicked back low bun right now, hair parted down the middle.

What a bitchy comment. It’s perfectly possible to look polished but also have a brain and be interesting thank you.

Do any of these beautiful polished glam women ever have curly hair? Asking for a friend 😆 Reading this thread very wistfully with the knowledge that I’ll never be part of this club even with an extreme wardrobe overhaul because whatever I do, I look like a hedge.

This thread has become quite horrible and certainly not helpful to the OP.

The suggestion that you can’t look well groomed but also be interesting is just ridiculous and judgy. There are plenty of us who look well groomed and spend time with our children and (shock horror) also have well paid jobs!

I tend to let India Knight inspire me 😉 DM me if you’d like.

I’m not sure how good the glossy 4x4 look is good for dates though, but depends on who you are looking to date. That look screams ‘expensive, high maintenance, no fun’ (=will pout for a day if they break a nail and won’t do things if it might ruin their hair’), a lot of men want to date someone normal and down to earth.

Good skin never falls out of favour though so there is that 🤷‍♀️

@XmasElfOnTheShelff obviously gets up earlier than me to apply make up. Not too much. Just a base, blush, brows and mascara.

How long do people think putting makeup on takes? The above is about a 120 second routine IMO.

Brows and mascara tends to be perm makeup for someone high maintenance, so makeup/ morning routine generally is incredibly quick and low effort.

I'd start by having your colours done. See what colours work for you before you buy a new wardrobe.

It's the whole 'school run look' talk I find strange. If I take the kids to school I'm usually wearing exactly the same clothes I'd wear to the shops or working at home. Should I be wearing something different on the walk to the school? Am I supposed to be impressing people on the way? This is a memo I've never got or understood.

That’s a shame. I was following this thread as also have vague aspirations in this direction but if ironing is involved, I’m out 😂.

Me too @Oodlesandoodlesofnoodles quite baffled by the high bun - low bun information. How have you all got so much time to observe other “mums on the school run” - I used to just chuck my DC out of our very non gleaming non Chelsea tractor 4 x 4.

Haven't read the full thread so this might have been said already but lily and fox nail wraps have changed my manicure game. They cost next to nothing and it takes me about 30 min to apply them. I do my nails on Sunday evening before I go to bed and get a full week of great looking nails. I get constant compliments on them and people saying that they don't know how I have the time for nails that look so good.

Make sure you use a good base coat to protect your nails and a top coat so that they last all week.

I honestly think it is mostly down to confidence - I don’t think it matters all that much what you wear, it is the way you carry yourself.