I want to be a glossy 4x4 mum

[glossystyle]

I’ve got major envy for those glossy mums who always look effortlessly put-together, the ones who pull up in a gleaming 4x4, wearing an immaculate coat, perfect jeans, and trainers that somehow look fresh and stylish instead of like they’ve been through a muddy football field. Their hair always seems bouncy, their nails are pristine, and they make juggling kids and life look so chic. I know the reality underneath will be different to this perceived polish but I fantasise about gliding around like a glossy mum.

I’m determined to give my wardrobe and look a bit of an upgrade, but I can’t afford to throw money around. I’m obsessed with Vinted, and I’d love some advice on what kind of brands or key pieces I should be looking for to recreate this vibe. Think understated luxury, nothing that screams flashy, just timeless, polished style. I am 42 and would love to dress youthfully but established.

I also feel like there’s some secret to their beauty routines, always glowing skin, neat nails, and perfectly styled hair that looks natural but clearly isn’t. Is this the magic of a Dyson Airwrap and Charlotte Tilbury, or am I missing something?

Basically, how do I create this effortless gloss without bankrupting myself? And is there anyone else out there reinventing themselves via Vinted too? Would love any tips, tricks, or recommendations to help me nail the look! Thank youuuu.

This is not the Paris women I have seen. Have been many times, tourist bits, posh bits, poorer parts, daytime and night time the lot and am always disappointed at their clothing. I'm not mistaking understated chic for scruffiness, it's plain scruffy.

I was expecting good coats and shoes, tidy nails, good grooming, good bags, but this is not the norm at all, especially from the younger crowd. The best-dressed ones are the over fifties, who have good posture, good shoes and accessories.

I will say that that the people of Paris are overall slimmer. The men are definitely more stylish than the men in the UK.

Love Lydia Tomlinson, she always looks perfect

The debate on what makes a glossy mum is so interesting.

I've read the whole thread and the full spectrum seems to be there.

A light came on for me last night while watching Big Little Lies, which admittedly is a few years old, but when Laura Dern and Nicole Kidman were on the screen they epitomised my idea of a glossy mum.

Sorry to resurrect this but I've just rewatched Anatomy of a Scandal. Could this be the look (Sienna Miller) you mean OP? She looks incredible but expensive!

Hi, sorry for the delay its been a bit hectic after Charismas and New Year what with one think and another and not looked at MN for a while. So to reply @glossystyle and others I think what she wants is a look that is sophisticated, chic, timeless and elegant which is the what I have always strived for to. I think we are talking Kate M; Queen Letizia of Spain and Princess Di and even Jennifer Anniston rather than Footballers wives and The Housewives of wherever which tend to be a tarty look showing too much flesh and wearing too much bling – less is always more! I myself came from a very ordinary family but I was lucky and married a wealthy guy when I was 25, he was 38 and was a SAHM with an allowance in 1990 so had time to spend on beauty, some of the elements were there already - good skin, a slim figure and blonde hair but I was able to improve myself through a beauty regime, a dressing room and gym membership! The 90’s was a good decade for fashion and beauty as it was a very natural look and skinny eyebrows (unlike the dreadful 80’s) and that’s continued pretty much. We had 4 kids and I was a SAHM so I was able to go to a beauty salon every week and so of course have picked up masses of tips over the year and I would therefore say the following:

Health

• Good skin care, day and night moisturiser. Cleansing, exfoliation, toning, serums, Botox, eye creams, masks, SPF, facials. Keeping out of the sun – I know a lot of women my age who are now in incredibly wrinkled – suntan is just burnt skin. Where as I myself look younger.
• Spa treatments/aromatherapy.
• Exercise – NO SMOKING – - bad for your health and makes your clothes and hair smell – terrible habit - limited alcohol. Careful what you eat.
• Healthy diet – I’ve always loved cooking with fresh ingredients so no ready meals – high in salt, sugar avoid UPFs.

Beauty

• Wash and blow dry your hair every day.
• Nice hands (use hand creams) with lovely nails – manicured nails always look good and pedicures for the summer sandals.
• Teeth – straightened and having them whitened or veneers.
• Slim figure.

Fashion

• Nice, elegant stylish shoes always with a heel. Ankle boots and knee high boots always look elegant.
• Tailored suits/tailored trousers always look chic..
• Nice trousers – sometimes I’d slip into a pair of leather trousers for the school run or to go shopping – always made a splash.
• Elegant dresses and skirts – skirt and dresses mid-calf length always look elegant, (knife) pleated skirts look good on most body shapes. Statement pieces like perhaps a leather or suede skirt though faux is very in vogue now.
• Trench coats (I’ve just bought one form Loro Piana) or luxurious cashmere coats, box jackets always look good.
• Knitwear – cashmere sweaters and cardigans.
• Accessories like a Chanel handbag or a Hermes scarf, sunglasses, belts, hats (bat as a PP pointed out not for the school run!).
• Timeless jewellery – but not too much. Wedding ring engagement ring, plus another ring, bracelet, necklace or pendant, earrings.
• Dress age appropriate.
• Luxurious lingerie to make you feel feminine!
• And of course, a lovely perfume!

Make-up brands I’ve used over the years are Clinique, Lancôme, No7, L’Oreal, Bobbi Brown, Maybelline, Tom Ford, Charlotte Tilbury, MAC face and body, Chanel and clothing brands I like are Gucci, Vince, Balenciaga, Tom Ford, Max Mara (probably my favourite), Alexander McQueen, Loro Piana.

Anyway, hope this helps! You’ll be surprised what clothes/dressing well can do. All the best!

This. I do actually have a big 4x4 (that I CAN drive thank you😂) but I agree with what you say completely.

We live rurally, have big, working dogs and very much a country lifestyle (apart from our day jobs sadly!) so unfortunately I will never look polished or "glossy".

But I would far rather be dressed warm and comfortably, my wellies be covered in mud and my face free of make up than be one of the women you talk about.

Don't get me wrong, for a special occasion I will go all out but day to day, life is too short!

Good skincare, lots of water, exercise / fresh air and a good diet. The best ingredients for looking healthy.

Just my opinion but the happier women I know are the ones who couldn't care less what people think of them.

Absolutely!

Both me and DH have 4x4s and both are permanently filthy (aside from once a month after a valet), stink of wet dogs and are full of wellies, waterproofs, dog towels and poo bags in every compartment 😂

That may well be true and work for you and many others, myself included,
but OP wants something different, which isn't wrong.

We're all different and want different things in life.

If being glossy makes someone happy, then go for it.

So this is slightly off topic but I’ve been called a Trophy Wife and a docile show pony before now and when I was at school I was bullied by both teachers and other girls and had no friends and had very low self-esteem and no confidence and at work I was bullied my managers as well to some extent (there is something about me/my personality which seems to attracts a lot of bullying/criticism/put downs) then I met DH and became a SAHM which I loved as I was on my own pretty much bar the cleaner and nannies and loved cooking and looking after the house. I loved shopping and going for beauty appointments. We had out first child about 10 months after we married. I loved being a mother. Absolutely loved it. We had four children in all. I loved it when the children were small especially. They went to private schools but didn’t board (one thing me and DH had in common was a hatred of school – he’d boarded). I loved taking the children to school and out for days in the holidays. Then I met a lovely, fantastically attractive Irish woman who was married to a very rich guy who owned a construction company and racehorses (they got me and DH into NH horse racing). She had a young family too (how we met) and was my first ever really close friend, we went everywhere together, I absolutely adored her, she was so funny and good natured. They were my happiest days but the thing I was going to say was that it was this friend, the beauty regimes and fashions and the children that made me more happy than I could ever have imagined possible and increased my self-confidence and self-esteem no end. So don’t knock it!

Most of us cannot afford to fill our day with these things, so whilst I cannot "knock" it, I cannot give this lifestyle the approbation it seemingly deserves.

I have children too and love also love every moment, even the ones where I had a FT job and no cleaner, which sometimes prevented me bleaching my moustache, chewing off hanging nails and marvelling at how long I had allowed my toenails to get when finally finding 5 mins to cut them.

In my spare time, I enjoyed nature and studied for a second degree, just for the sheer hell of it. There is no way, just no way, I would have filled my day with all this pointless stuff, just so other mums would envy my appearance and I could give out prizes.

Most of all, absolutely most of all, there is no way I would be happy that my beauty routines and constant grooming made my husband happy, like you said several days/weeks ago. That is the very last reason I would ever go for this contrived appearance. That is the most annoying thing you have written, as far as I am concerned.

@Char65 DO NOT and I repeat, DO NOT build your self esteem and confidence around the way you look, your husband and beauty treatments. I can absolutely 100% assure you that it's folly.

Which is all great as that's your choice.

Those who want to be glossy and are happy being so can do as they please.

Not sure who's wants to be praised for their choices.

People like and get pleasure from different things. That's ok.

@Treesandsheepeverywhere You are right. I know you are.

Yet this thread has annoyed the hell out of me. I cannot even decide exactly why. I always appreciate a beautiful woman (we are much nicer to look at then men), I love seeing a glossy blow-out and all sorts of manicures, simple or arty. I like good clothes and bags and shoes and perfume. I will often compliment complete strangers on such things. It's great to look great!

I think it's the association with money that has annoyed me and the idea that the look the OP is going for is one that makes you look like you drive a 4x4 and you are too repressed and prissy to wear red, cobalt, or any colour that is not beige. The fear of having longer nails, getting some nail art and being mistaken for a gangster's moll when the look you're going for is trophy wife.

😂😂 @Gangster's moll.

I'm forever fighting the urge to lean over to one of the school mums and tell her to tone down the lip fillers.

Then I realise I know nothing about her past, marriage or such and convince myself that's her version of being/seeking happiness.

I think it's the association with money that has annoyed me and the idea that the look the OP is going for is one that makes you look like you drive a 4x4 and you are too repressed and prissy to wear red, cobalt, or any colour that is not beige. The fear of having longer nails, getting some nail art and being mistaken for a gangster's moll when the look you're going for is trophy wife.

I get what you’re saying but most of us look what we are, and most of it is how you walk/talk/hold yourself and the “wrong nails” won’t disguise that

Well I'm 60 now so I guess I already have.

Nice clothes and footwear and tasteful jellwery, having your hair and nails done and having nice make-up makes you feel tonnes better and does make you carry yourself better and give you more confidence. @CinnamonJellyBeans I kinda get what you are saying about money but you can do it cheaply there's a young woman on You Tube (probably early 30's) who has a fantastic style and looks lovely and she buys everything from charity/pre-;loved shops and Vinted. It just takes the effort which for one reason or another a lot of women are not prepared to make.

It's all well and good being a 'trophy wife' but when your looks fade, you may be getting trades in for a younger model.

I didn't say I was a Trophy Wife I said that's what other women had called me because I always dress nicely and have a rich DH.

I saw a lady in town today, lovely blow dried, glossy hair, nice long dark caramel coat and she made me think of this thread. Then I noticed she had a tatty Asda plastic bag (as well as I good handbag) and had left the label on her boots, so I think being a glossy mum is also paying attention to details!

Before anyone starts I'm not bashing her, just if you aspire to a certain look these are easy things that will put a dampener on your overall aesthetic.

Yes paying attention to the details is very important.

What is "tasteful" jewellery @Char65 ? Are you afraid of being denounced by Tatty Devine?

The look you're going for is one that portrays the wearer has time and money to spend on themselves. It sends a message about your lifestyle. It's been carefully crafted (you'd probs call it "curated"). It's all very restrained.

I don't think anyone is talking about skipping feeding their kids or not seeing friends or not helping their community so they have time/money to get facelifts or whatever to be a trophy wife....
But I think most of us would like to be more put together rather than feeling and looking harassed and stressed.

I already got my hair cut/coloured every 6-8 weeks (it's very wild otherwise), but that used to be it.

Since reading this thread, instead of just listening to an audiobook in my car once a week waiting for my child to do their music lesson (in an unsafe area), I have also added in doing my nails then.

I am giving myself a longer shower one evening a week about 9pm, doing a face mask, exfoliation/nice body moisturiser during that time and I am going to get an eyelash dye kit (mine are very pale) to use evey few weeks.

I also researched a bit more to find a cleanser, moisturiser and sunscreen that actually suits my skin rather than just whatever one my daughters have abandoned in favour of something newer.

I also am trying to reduce/coordinate my wardrobe and pick my clothes the night before because wasting time looking through clothes that don't all go in the morning is a waste of my time and adds to my stress.

Yes, of course there are days when everything hits together and because my family etc comes first, I wind up with a 10 second shower, throwing my hair in a bun and wind up wearing whatever is handy at the top of the clean clothes, no make up (tbh I very rarely wear make up anyway) etc and my husband/kids won't love me less and I won't be worse employee etc.

But that doesn't make me a better person than the day when I have been a bit more organised and blow dried my hair, put on the sunscreen and mascara and worn matching clothes...

Or maybe not.

Or she might also want to trade.

Or the marriage isn't just based on looks.

As long as she's happy, that's what matters.

following!