Hair is an ageist issue

[Beeinalily]

In this area there are two looks for ladies over about 50. Either long unstyled hair, or a graduated bob. The reason being, whatever you ask for, you get the bob. Last time I went, I did my research and downloaded a photo of what I wanted, booked the salon owner (rather expensively), and came out with - the bob. And actually the bob in question wasn't as good as the usual one from the trainee! So now I have the long unstyled (and unkempt) look, and it's driving me crazy. The dreaded bob is probably better, but all the older ladies here look like clones! Does anyone else find this?

Not just our generation. I took my son to a concert earlier in the year and we had been watching some videos of other concerts. There was a concert in Newcastle. Great (illicit) footage - clearly a super fan close to the front. LIterally every woman in front of him to the front, left, right, regardless of age had a long blond highlighted straight hair in a long beyond shoulder bob. It was Stepford Wives vibes. He didnt have a clue, but once I saw that I couldnt concentrate on much else. It was a bit wierd. Not a single deviation on hairstyle. I dont know the area, nor how far people travelled but it was not at all diverse.

You've reminded me of this ad!

I don’t think Roxie woo was being rude, merely stating a fact. If a hairstyle is outdated then a stylist is unlikely to be trained or practiced in cutting it that way. My mum had her hair like the first pic you showed, in the eighties and stuck with it, you could see which ladies in the city went to the same stylist as her, they all had the same cut, it was expertly cut but once the hairdresser died they found difficulty getting someone else to do it. Your best bet might be to go to an older ex Vidal Sassoon stylist, whilst they were experts in the Bob they did also do short sculptured styles.
You need to have a consultation with a stylist. I am no expert but the photo you showed looks like fairly fine straight hair, the style might not be appropriate for you hair.

not at all - ‘twas very quick sharp and funny - and as an opinion, forthright !

I work with a lot of different nationalities and I told one young afghani lady that I was having my hair cut. I have had basically the same very short style since I was a teen. She said I love English old lady hairstyles! Well I'm not a spring chicken and was about 56 at the time but didn't think I was an old lady. My mum IS an old lady and has long thick hair.

Yes it is quite an aging look for anyone over 50

The problem is, no one is being rude, but that is a very old fashioned style. Would look much better a bit longer

I totally get what you mean! My mum had short grey hair by 60 and it was very aging. I’m now that age and she still gets annoyed that I won’t have mine cut short too and I still have it coloured. Keep your lovely hair as long as you can and ignore those that try put us all in middle age/elderly clone mode! I went out recently with friends and looked round at them all and it struck me that they’re all like clones of my mum. Aaaaargh!

I couldn't agree more. I'm 64, still colouring, still a layered Bob just off my shoulders. Covid did NOT steer me to embrace the gray.

Happily my mum is 88, still has highlights to lift the gray and has a just below the chin Bob type cut. She still has thick hair to envy! She is still a bit trendier than me - if she has to sink to the depths if a velcro slipper I suspect she'll beg me to take her to dignitas.

My mother was very angry about my white hair for years.

She's OK with it now.

My hair is so white that dyeing it became a task.

I wouldn’t mind if mine were white. I could channel that. Instead my natural wild rodent is graying from the front in patches - it's still dark mouse at the back. It looks bloody awful in its natural state.

I totally get that.

Mine is white.

Just wanted to say that, as a mother of an adult son with a fast receding hairline, I do find it kind of freaky sometimes watching my own child ageing. I wouldn't dream of saying anything to him so that's where I part company with some of your mothers, but I can understand how they might be feeling.

And gorgeous!

@Radamanth your hair looks beautiful!

I am desperate for an alternative to my boring bob. I am 67 have my completely white hair coloured to a slightly lighter shade than before I went grey. There is no chance whatsoever of me embracing my natural colour. I’ve tried growing it long several times and it looks awful, it needs to be shorter. I detest short layers on top, short at the back and longer at the front and I hate my hairline so when I had a pixie cut I loved the front but was never happy with the back. A lot of women round here have the sort of short hair that is my dread, so I think I need to find a new hairdresser, which will be both inconvenient and a bit awkward, but I just don’t think he’s a good enough cutter.

Ya! @Floisme that's a weird thing isn't it?

I'm one of five siblings and have nieces and nephews of different ages.

When your siblings children start showing the signs of aging. Or my sister hit her 60s.

We're all tipping over...

Or you have to speak about your parents who are in their 80s.

Aha! But you're talking about my mother! I've been going undyed grey since my early 20s. So not quite the same, she always hated everything about the way I look, I wasn't desperately wanted by my mother, (Catholic, too many children too soon), I was by my Dad though.

And after many years my mother now tells me I'm beautiful and she loves my hair.

I see it as a late an tacit acceptance of love.

It's enough, I know she's limited. Makes me happy though.

Velcro slippers 😂😂

I have a layered twixt chin and shoulder Bob. I flick it out rather than under - it helps that my hair takes a curl.

I make no pretentions to trendiness. My hairdresser leads. She touches up my roots with light brown and adds in blonde and caramel highlights.

@Radamanth I get the not being good enough. My epitaph will read "she tried to please her mother". I was never a pretty enough party girl for her. As a child I wasn't allowed to wear pink because it was for pretty girls! So when I grew up I treated myself to a pink kitchen 💗. Paradoxically she's more supportive now that she needs me. It's all rather sad.

@RosesAndHellebores

It makes me sad, her parents lived in East Africa and left her behind.

And she got knocked up by a boy from the Catholic school.

She was 17 and left behind. Breaks my heart.

This is a joke?

I do, and I sympathise with you. Here it's blonde highlights to hide the greys. I had to do a lot of research in my area and made a few consultations, checking out how the hairdressers had their hair and the clients in there. It was all dull as shit. Eventually, I found a place who didn't hold with these attitudes and I have shaved sides, a magenta fringe and violet chunks throughout. It cost a fortune but is well worth it. Eff how other people think I 'should' look for 53.

Most women I know (I'm 62) have chin to just past shoulder length either straight or slightly layered. The exception is two of us: I have a layered bob it's true, but also wavy to curly hair so it doesn't look the same. Another has super curly ringlets which is also just past her shoulders and slightly layered but looks completely different on her than a mutual friend with straight hair.
Would have thought that cut in the pic quite a normal style!