reaclassification of MN sterotypes

[FluffyMummy123]

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cod....I still have a fold up potty in may car for 'every eventuality'....

see....I knew I was one of them!!!

monopolizing mum-talks earnestly to the teacher every morning so no one else has a chance to ask her anything.

very annoying for the

overanxious mum-who ends up looking through the window for ages at little Naomi who is loyally squeezing the tears out and can't wait for her mum to bugger off.

Have we had Boden Mum yet?

Terror Kid's Mum

Runs around after child in local playground apologising profusely as kid knocks over other children and jumps on their heads. 'Oh, you know, he's just a very enthusiastic child', 'Yes, he's very big for his age' 'He doesn't mean^ to be rough' etc, all said as demon child boots angelic, fluffy haired baby in the gob and runs off cackling...

velcro mum.....the one who can't bear to let go of their darling even tho their darling is desperately trying to undo himself from his mums hands!!!!

unlike the velcro child who yanks mum arm off while the teacher is peeling said child off!!!

(I have the child, I am not the former!)

you must be cold mum....

she insists on her children wrapping up even tho the sun is fiercely hot

I am that mum

Hopeless Housekeeper Mum.

Always trying new methods to take control of the housework. Always failing.

Keeping Up Appearances Mum

Impeccably dressed kids, organised and on time, suspiciously tidy home, always telling kids not to run and that everything is 'dirty'. Kids spend A LOT of time in front of a screen so they don't make a mess.

busy/tired mum..
she's always soooooooooo busy and soooo tired.
er, hang on, haven't you got a live-in nanny/mother's help/your mum living next door...
jealous?
moi?

Am loving Hair Brigade Sheep Mum - skin slightly too orange, hair slightly too stripey...

Party-Power Mum

Those obsessed with who is invited to which party and whisper "Has DC been invited to x's?"

Responding with either - "Oh that's strange" or "We (NOTE the 'we') haven't either" and ensue on full on bitch mode or " oohhh, mmmm, that'll be nice' or in extreme versions complaining to parent of said party-child about lack of invite.

What about Totally Bloody Slack Mum? For I am she.

Hunts for clean clothes on floor of child's bedroom every morning. Orders takeaway more than once a week. Drinks wine before 4pm unashamedly. Doesn't care that she does any of these things. Doesn't understand a fecking thing other mums seem to talk about at the school gate and never knows when anything is happening until it's already come and gone (what is this school fete you speak of?). Thinks all this unnecessary friendliness at school gate is load of old bollarks, anyway - using up valuable shopping / wine drinking /seeing real friends time.

ggirl - I object to monopolising mum! On the odd occasions I need to tell the teacher something practical such as that granny is picking DS#1 up, monopolising mum is always there - every time telling the teacher something about her child's bowel movements or how he slept last night And I'm usually late already as the teacher never turns up until 5mins after the bell as it is.

Boden Mum - skips down street with freshly baked french loaf in straw shopping bag whilst buttons fall off her coat. Hair undone in a done way.. colour co-ordinated but not too much... Lovely legs.

"she sees 20 of her "fun miniskirt" in the schoolyard". Not in ours she won't Primark big shirts and stretchy trousers maybe but not Boden. Oh no no....

Oh Issy, that could've been me a couple of years back!

Topper Mum

Oh Freddy got impetigo we took him to a harley st specialist
Oh we went to Portugal/st france/tuscany years ago
Oh yeah we got our name down there but decided against it

Always been there and done it better than you

"I've got help Mum": Somehow finds the time to go to the gym/get nails done/have beautifully coiffed hair/immaculate house etc etc. All explained with faux-sheepish, "Well I do have help.."

"Help" is Filipino living under the stairs/in the attic and supporting family of 14 back home

Oh I am cold Mum as well - I don't take my snuggle off until July

Oh yes I know a LOT of Toppers, CWE

you do realise that this thread is going to make us all into..

'paranoid about people guessing we are MN mums' now don;t you!!!

you wait.....tomorrow morning there will be many mums in the playground trying to spot all these mummies and then see others staring.....aha......you are a MN'er!!!!

Open University Mum:

Always knackered from staying up All Night slaving over essays..

talks in sentences, in almost ANY context, that begin with "..when I've got my degree..."

Can never find kids' school letter because they've vanished into a pile of study-related paperwork never to be seen again until subject of letter is long since irrelevant

Suffers eternal envy of those who get to "escape to bricks and mortar" university and not have to study whilst doing 12 other domestic tasks at same time

Make kids listen to OU cds on car journeys; does not listen to their protests

In a Nasty Bitch-Mother & Wife From Hell on run up to exam time

Spends life trying to exlain to family members that when she is studying please treat her as if she is OUT.. she is just not avilable to wipe arses, make sandwiches, answer phone, converse with random neighbour who has called round and that the OTHER PARENT usually known as DAD is available to do those things or else she wouldn't be ATTEMPTING to study at this time of the day!

Older Mum
Always a slight worry in the back of her mind that everyone thinks she's the grandma
I know her pain