reaclassification of MN sterotypes

[FluffyMummy123]

Message withdrawn

Also "always late for pick up" Mum
Must leave now

Popular Mum

do i need to expand?

Oldest mum, I really feel for her

Does Older Mum then buy all her clothes from Topshop in an effort not to be mistaken for a granny?!?!
(just wondering.....)

(you look shocked cammelia, am only talking about myself.... )

I was just thinking about myself trying to squeeze into anything from Topshop not having worn any since was 13 (I think that was possibly the year Topshop was invented lol)

Schizophrenic mum
One day she is all over you the next day she bobs down behind the organic veg display in Waitrose, rooting deep in her trolley pretending not to have not noticed you smiling and waving at her.

Bad Body Language Mum
You are talking with one of the mums at the school gate when bad body language mum comes and starts talking to you, with her back to the other mum.

School gates are second only to labour wards for their bounty of low moments.

what would you call the mum that turn up to toddlers a day after popping out the newborn? A lot of those round these parts.....

Wet mum

Mother who neglects to take adequate rain protection to school pick-up through misguided optimism/being too occupied to look at the sky.

Sanitiser Sally ... carries alcohol gel in her pocket, children's hands look suspiciously red and flaky, and says things like "Don't sit on the floor there's germs!"

Blanches when it is pointed out that the teachers TELL them to sit on the floor. Or that threadworm is going round (again).

Only visits once

I was in the hospital yesterday in psediatric a&e (a total hothouse for germs I must admit). Watched Mum (sanitiser sally I think) carefully remove disposable changing mat from nappy bag, lay out on chair and lay her ds on it before putting on his trousers (think they had been removed for examination). The child was still wearing nappy, vest, etc. Then the child was put back on her lap, mat folded and chucked away.
Am I missing something, what was she afraid of him catching? Dust on his vest?
(perhaps I am disgustingly slovenly with no regard to microbes mum...)

"Sorry about the mess" Mum

She's not sorry. She did have chance to wash up. She didn't do it though.

No but she was on MN instead so...

(Oh God I am "Excuse The Mess Mum" )

(How the weightloss going now Colditz?)

Mum-to-be:
spends 500 quid on a 3 wheeler only to trade in for a buggy 4 months later; buys moses basket to find her 10 pounder is too big for it; thinks she's got away without any stretchmarks (well, she is at 30 weeks already); knows she won't need pain relief; has planned to express straight away because she's got a wedding to go to a month after Junior arrives; has bought some jeans one size bigger than normal to wear after pregnancy; knows she and her old friends will have lots in common in a year's time

PMSL at sorry about the messy mum!!! I know a few of those...

Haven't read whole thread so sorry if repeating:

Stressed out mum (always rushing, cares of world on shoulder, kids doing her head in)

Working, got it all together mum (always on time, has a job, looks good and has kids over for tea)

PITA PTA Mum - we all know one of these

Neurotic Mum

Hippy mum

Swearing Mum

Smoking mum (lights up a silk cut at school gate)

(er, have lost 26.5 lb total but have had a Bad Week)

The Silent Repeater .... the quiet mum who stands just a little too close in order to listen in on the conversation and pick you apart to her friends later.

The Cause Of Discreet Eye Rolling ... you know her, admit it. Her not inconsiderable gut hangs in all its naked glory over her trousers, she lewd, loud and proud, and her children stink of ashtrays and always want to come and play with yours, and she is incapable of focusing on anyone under eighteen or female.

"Working, got it all together mum (always on time, has a job, looks good and has kids over for tea)" usually morphs into nervous-breakdown chaotic mum after a while....

The Private Investigator Mum:

She knows all about you and all about everyone else. She is commonly seen at Clubs your children also attend and if anyone isn't present she knows why.. she knows who hasn't paid their clubs fees.She is also rather nice but Has Ways Of Making You Speak about your rather private business. Hence her superior knowledge of All Things.

Shy mum - jumps out of her skin when you say hello

Tell anyone her problems mum - you just met her and you know she had 2 miscarriages, has painful periods, her dog died, she has been married before, has piles........

Drama queen mum - need i expand?

(Well done Colditz. )

Fuckwit Mum:

She has a husband, a lover and has her eye on several other men, including YOUR husband!

Fuckwit mum also known as Trollop Mum