reaclassification of MN sterotypes

[FluffyMummy123]

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Toddler Group Mum

Knows all the toddler groups within a 5 mile radius and frequents them daily. Knows people as 'Johnny's Mum', not by their first name. Has no other social life or topic conversation. Will eventually have to be crow-barred out when it becomes apparent that her youngest child is in secondary school.

I am dull Mum. Boo - aspirations to be perfect mum but simply not nice enough.

So is there any hope?

Genuinely nice Mum - friendly, not intimidating, remembers what you spoke about last time and asks you about it, has genuinely nice kid.

I am hoping my children will discover some of these children, and perhaps marry into their families so that there is niceness-hope for their children.

I think the divorced dads are the 'McDonalds Dads'

Skin of the teeth mum.

Who thinks she's doing damned well to get DCs into school properly dressed with lunchboxes and PE kits so fails to remember 'special thing from holidays' for reception child and yet-another-form for eldest child until the v last minute so grabs the nearest thing from car boot as 'special item' and signs the form in eyeliner.

Obviously I know no-one like that. No-one at all....

keen dad

has researched baby carriers and spends a lot of time peering at the ingredients lists in Fresh and Wild while children riot unsupervised

vacant mum: wanders around supermarket with pushchair and lost expression, occasionally expressing surpirse that pushchair occupant has swiped a packet of teabags off the shelf and is eating them. Also to be seen in park the said toddler up to his knees in a surprisingly deep puddle
(me btw)

Late mum.

Always so late for pickup and drop off that she doesn't recognise any of the stereotypes on this thread ...

Supernanny Mum

Has watched far too much Jo Frost. Couldn't survive a day without multiple sendings to the Naughty Step and liberal usage of the word 'unacceptable' (sorry, that's ^unassssseptable>)

lol
and clock the panic in their eyes when they see you on the way to school..
god, i can't be that late...

Gina mum

oh no maybe I won't go there...

Ah yes, our Conspiracy Theory Mum is also the "School Should Be Run For My Child's Convenience Mum". Also "Chippy Mum" - ie anyone who does something she hasn't done is doing it to annoy her.

Dunno re baskets of muffins. I think Americans maybe give them when we would give flowers. They are scarily passive aggressive - we all try and analyse what they mean.

I am WOHM so magnet for Bitter Mums and Could Have Been a Contender Mums. I get cornered with the "When I was an accountant" stories when I am desparately trying to leg it to catch the train.

Also "I'm Glad Your Child Is Not Doing As Well As Mine As It Validates My Parenting Decisions" Mum.

I'm So Kooky and Krazee Mum

Skips home from school holding hand of blushing 10yo.

Engages small children in "fun" conversations involving lots of loud animal noises and eye-crossing, tongue-waggling faces. Occasionally lets eyes stray to other mums to be sure they are noticing & wishing they were just like her.

Covers kitchen in poster paint and glue at playdates, and makes sure collecting mother notices.

At night, when can let guard down, secretly sips decaf Nescafe and reads tattered copies of Jane Austen while easing the painful bar out of the piercing in her eyebrow.

no19 do you read to your dcs on trains in very OTT voices too?

Yes, stepfordwife, if I'm ever on time, it throws their day out completely ...

fun, though

Hmmm. Effie's 'Keen dad' is sometimes in danger of turning into 'Scary Man' Dad, who is an active member of his local NCT, an expert on different types of sling and the person-in-charge of baby's feeding schedule 'No darling, we can't go to the Farmer's Market today. Little Crispin is due for his nap then...remember?'

I know one of these. I told him I was going away for my birthday next year (when my baby will be 3 months old) and he said, with an incredulous look on his face, 'But won't you still be breastfeeding then?'. I felt like shoving an extra large jar of SMA up his jacksy.

Yes natch they do all the characters & dramatic pauses & make sure other commuters appreciate how INVOLVED and IMAGINATIVE they are while child secretly longs for Nintendo.

Ooops I didn't mean I am Kooky Krazee. I am skin of teeth see above.

Still Got It Mum. Top slightly too low cut for sagging post-3rd baby breasts. And just a leeeetle too much foundation trowelled on for a bright summer's day. But she doesn't care because she isn't just a mum, y'know, she is a woman

and their wives secretly hate them

I try to run into the ankles of any Keen Dad I come across on a matter of principle

Extension to toddler group mum...."Mum who runs toddler group Mum"

Knows every child in there, and talks, sings, play with them enthusiastically. Totally ignores own children.

Indulgent Mum: why can;t children be children nowadays
never says no in case it inhibits child's development
will crack one day and send the appalling kid to boot camp

god I cant bear keen dads

Pissed off mum - who volunteers for class rep and to run other activities as no other bugger will do it, and gets exasperated that people are happy to dump their kids and run, and not bloody help out at all!!! She also gets ticked off when the other mums moan that something hasn't been done to their entire satisfaction, but expect it to be done for them in the first place.

It's all about me Mum. Tells you all about herself and never asks about you & yours.

The hair brigade sheep mums. One goes blonde they all go blonde. This week they all went brunette.

Mourning for Passing Youth Mum
also known as Light of My Life Mum

Mournful looks and Oh they grow up so fast and want their independence.

Covers child in squidgy wet kisses as child wrestles self free to swap MatchAttax cards.

Phones up at sleepovers to check is dc all right, has s/he cried for her yet.
Erm nope they're just wrestling and eating haribo.
Arrives to collect from sleepover at 7.30 am cos she's missed dc so badly.