reaclassification of MN sterotypes

[FluffyMummy123]

Message withdrawn

'too much caffiene, bouncier than tigger' mum.

..also known as Pattie Symcock Mum (remember Grease?)

lol.....

too young and cool to be a mum mum-had kids too young and while she loves them she must dress uber fashionably and be cool so her university friends who are just now contemplating engagement don't think she is old and dowdy, mumsy and past it, hence lots of 5inch heels, hotpants, leggings, looks a bit too much like she has just stepped out of vogue and is wearing too much topshop at once. Can't help herself. Has been known to cry when asked if she's the au pair/nanny though because she is a mother!...

Confusingly aged Mum.

She either looks too young to be Mum and could be a sister or quite old to be a Mum and could be granny, either way you run the risk of causing grave offence so end up ignoring her.

This is the funniest thread .

Unhappily Married Mum.

Makes a beeline for you because you're a single mother so must want to know all about what a horrible bastard her husband is, so regales you with the circumstances of his bastardy for at least 15 minutes when you're in a hurry to get home and do something more interesting like the ironing.

Co-ordinated Mum

Her hairband matches her belt
and her silky scarf
and her her bag
and her nail polish
and her shoes

Also known as Dressing Like A 5 Year Old Mum.

lol coco at dressing like a 5 yr old. On that very note, hows about ...

CO-ORDINATING MUM!

Outfit matches child!

Freakin' freaky!

Now coco that is a scary x-post.
Are you me?

N0 scary - in response to my own post, you're clearly not me. I just realised that I totally didn't read your post before repeating it. V sorry. My excuse is that I've just survived a scary bureaucratic ordeal and am consequently massively over-stimulated.

well bugger me Pol, they have to tell us in writing, but my supporting letter appeared to have had a huge effect and the LEA were very badly on the run..

I'd said to DP 'it won't actually be To Kill A Mockingbird', but actually, it was a bit like that.. The poor Chief of Admissions was totally wrong-footed, the Panel attacked him at every point, and I now have huge faith in what Labour have achieved in terms of justice in Local Govt.

Deep breath. Walk on.

Oh yes, I've seen coordinating mum and it is SCARY. She laughs that her DD wants them to play it, but does not understand that convention expects her to dress as an adult outside the house.

Miaow.

I had coordinating mum morphed with obsessive pilates mum in our swim class. She and her 2 year old dd wore MATCHING BIKINIS.

Enough said.

sweet freaking jeezum, that is bad.

I often get strangers telling me how much dd looks like me (esp since I've now got her haircut). And I like bright colours and dress her brightly too.

I might stop doing that now.

lol onebatmother!

Today dressing like a five year mother wore
bright blue scrunchie
white jeans (v.v skinnies)
same shade of blue top
white jacket
same shade of blue wedges
blue and white dotty scarf
blue and white dotty bag
I admit that I am obbessed with seeing what's she's wearing everyday.

Do you think she hangs it all on one hanger? Ready to whip out at a moment's notice?

But I am slightly confused - does coordinating mother also coordinate with her child? Does she actually have child? Or hangs out at school for sartorial inspiration purely?

I don't know about co-ordinating with her dcs, I only see them in school uniforms. But my friend swears they all (5girls) dress similar.
She has to have a walk in wardrobe, she has millions of accessories.

Laissez-faire mum

Can't be arsed disciplining any of her kids so they run riot biting ,scratching and pulling hair .Grrr

Label Mum/Keeping up with the Jones's Mum:

Covered head to toe in designer labels - even downto Louis Vuitton shoes. Her husband is a taxi drive/plasterer/labourer yet all she can talk about is how hard it is deciding between Florida or the Carrifarking beean for Christmas

Plastic Mum:

Fascinates other mums who try and guess which bits of her have been surgically enhanced. Other mums can't help starting at her various body parts during conversation, loooking to see if things move naturally, or if she has a crease when she smiles ( which she never does)

Starbucks Mum:

Always comes to the drop off/pick up with a Tall Skinny Whatever in a cup. Can't she drink at home like everyone else? Think of the landfill!

Sunglasses Mum:

Has sunglasses perched on the top of her head, during a hail storm or in early December. Has various ones that co ordinate to her outfit.

Middle management mum: rather harassed looking even if dressed smartly, normally drops off early and runs off quick, shouting instructions about who will collect DCs that afternoon. Probably a fellow MNetter but never has time to stop and talk...

I probably be baking mum, and annoy all the rest of the mums

I am now a neglectful mum as I 'neglected' my DS1 and he swallowed glass pebbles.

so much for 'keep it together/cope with ant crisis mummy' I strive for hey!!!!

Militant Mum - aways haranguing the teacher about why little X has only been read to 7 times that week, not lead part in play, why teacher off sick again etc etc

Hypochondriac Mum - always banging on about latest ailment, especially to GP mum

Sizeist Mum - suddenly becomes extremely chippy when, after months of extreme torture, you finally lose a noticeable amount of weight only to morph into Smug Mum when you pile it all (and more) back on again

Oh dear I am several of these including patronising mum and sorry-about-the-mess mum

But I could best sum myself up at Clutz Mum:

Is still only half-dressed (along with DS) 5 mins before having to set off for nursery and answers door to Perfect Mum friend in pjs/towel/bra and pants

Constantly says wrong and vastly insulting/hurtful/patronising thing while attempting to be Tactful Mum

Always tripping over/unintentionally ignoring other people's charming children