Style Handbook for the Recently Slim

[MountKilimounjaro]

As a woman in her forties that has recently lost a significant amount of weight I've realised that I suddenly have the choice of where to shop and what to wear. And it's actually quite daunting!

I've spent most of my adult life choosing clothes purely because they're in my size and hide what needs to be hidden. And now that I suddenly have the freedom of choice I realise I don't know what my style is!

I thought it might be nice to start a thread for people in a similar situation and if any of the super stylish people that frequent the Style & Beauty threads want to share their wisdom I'd be eternally grateful.

Does anyone have any good tips on how to find your style? And what does that even mean?? After years of hiding it's all a bit daunting.

I vaguely recall reading an article on choosing three words that sum up your look/how you want to be perceived. Once you have these words the vast majority of the clothes you buy need to fit that brief.

Some things I've discovered so far:

It's still ok to wear black! It can be a choice rather than a way to hide. I find mixing up textures, adding a belt and wearing gold jewellery elevates it into a more considered outfit.

Monochrome looks stylish. You don't have to be matchy matchy but similar tones of the same colour can make an outfit look put together.

Quality matters. But understanding what constitutes good quality seems to be hugely confusing.

Please feel free to share your thoughts, ideas or experiences.

Oh and one final small plea, you'll guess from my user name how I lost weight. It's been a long tough journey, it's not a quick fix. I did contemplate changing my name but I'm hoping others that have been on a similar journey find this thread. Hopefully this can be a safe non judgemental place.

Hey well done. I’m nearer the start of my MJ journey… ( one stone down) and grappling with the idea of being slim. I can’t even work out a goal weight because I can’t imagine myself losing 3 stone. Anyway to answer your question - I think you may get bombarded with random information but I think you need to spend a bit of time working out your style ( rather than copying the style of other people)
If you’re on Instagram there is a poster called Jennine Jacobs who posts a lot of content about finding your own style. She particularly does a weekly “live” where she works out her outfits for the week and you can see her process ( she has lots of free resources and videos to help).
Allison Borstein is another influencer who popularised the three word method you mentioned. Her own style is quite minimal and achievable but she has a lot of content about her method. (also has a book available). If you don’t have social media or would prefer a book other than the one above there is The Curated Closet which is a British author Anushka Rees. It has quite a few exercises to help narrow down your thoughts on your own style. I think it’s probably more comprehensive than the Borstein one.
Ultimately I think it’s better to be slow and steady with the purchases while you work things out. I actually will be a little bit sad to lose some parts of my wardrobe if I ever get that far because it’s taken me years to build it up but I am excited about the clothing options for a slimmer version of me.

I could have written that @MountKilimounjaro thank you for starting this thread.
I am 50lb down on MJ and also really need styling help as my style as an adult was entirely based around hiding my body.
Any help and advice from those in the same boat will be much appreciated.

Tucking things in totally changes the outfit. I used to hide by wearing black trousers and shirts and the shirts would cover everything. Not buying anything yet (still have a way to go) but losing some from my belly has given me the confidence to tuck the shirts in and I think it looks so much smarter x

I equally could have written this, have been obese my entire adult life ( and teens and childhood) so have no idea what me is.

I'm like @Divebar2021 and at the start of my journey, 1 stone down 4 more to go, but today I'm wearing a dress that I bought 5 years ago that never fit me and I'm loving it. My hips are sliming so the level of pear shape is reducing already. Had a skim through next website lastnight and was playing on vinted but I think for the first time in my life I might actually enjoy wandering around shops and trying stuff on rather then dreading it and buying something that " will do" online in an effort to avoid seeing how I look in clothes.

@Divebar2021 that is excellent advice. Slow and steady is my mantra for everything these days. Thanks for the recommendations on who to follow. You're absolutely right about finding your own style rather than copying.

Good luck on your weight loss journey, you'll be surprised at how fast the time passes, I'm nearly 70lbs down, which seemed utterly impossible at the start.

Definitely agree with tucking in. I have all these oversized shirts and tops that I do like but I’m not wanting to wear currently. Oooh I’ve now remembered a useful hack. You can buy jean buttons that you push through the fabric that have a back that you push on. You can obviously use them to extend the wear of jeans that are too big by bringing in the waist but you can also use them in other ways. As the fashion for oversized has wained a bit I’ve used them to make items more fitted. Eg I have a men’s blazer I got in a charity shop and I’ve used a silver button to bring the waist in so it’s more fitted ( rather than sewing an additional button on the jacket) You could also use it on an oversized shirt to create different effects.( tucks,and folds that you can pin without having to hide a safety pin). I’ve attached a pic of a very cool woman I follow who pinned an oversized shirt to create this look.

They’re £3 from Amazon but the link was enormous so I’ve attached a picture.

@NearlyNewHip yes! Good shout. After years of buying long line tops to hide a belly I've also recently discovered how important it is to tuck a top in. At first I felt so exposed but it looks so good.

@MrsNessaSmithy congrats on your amazing loss. You must feel great. Hopefully we can find our sense of style now.

@Caffeineneedednow the thought of just wandering round the shops trying on clothes like a 'normal' person is so exciting to me.

Congratulations on fitting into your dress!

Has anyone kept (or planning to keep) one item of clothing to measure their loss against? It was advice someone gave me early on and it's been amazing. I used to have a very expensive and much loved pair of work trousers. Some days I'd really have to force the zip up...trying them on today and they literally fall down if I take a step.

@Divebar2021 oh wow! Great tip.

I have an oversized white shirt that I'd almost given up on trying to wear as I look like I have a sheet draped over me. Love how the shirt has been styled in that picture.

Hah! I’m inexplicably going in the opposite direction weight-wise - but I hope it’s a temporary thing over a period of stress.

I don’t label myself stylish - I’m more interested in the clothes themselves than in how I look in them - but I did have a woman literally chase after me in the street to compliment my outfit the other day, so …

🤷‍♀️😂

One thing I’ve noticed on S&B is the absolute compulsion amongst posters to make themselves look as small as possible through their clothing choices - when pretty much every single person I’ve seen in real life (as opposed to an Oscars red carpet) who looks stylish is using controlled volume to make their outfit. So what I can offer is that now you are thinner there is no need to base every single outfit on showing everyone how thin you are. If you really want to have fun with clothes and look super stylish - try incorporating some volume. Try wearing a dress that doesn’t ’show off your waist’ …

Have a look at

Plumo

as a gentle start.

@ANagsHead you're absolutely right. For the first time in my life I don't want to hide myself away, but at the same time it's not about looking as skinny as possible. I just want to be seen as me.

Structure and volume are really interesting things to play with. Thank you so much for taking the time to come and share that advice. I've been trying to pinpoint what it is that makes people look put together and I think you've hit on a big element of that.

Do you think there are any rules for volume? Like if you're wearing a voluminous skirt you should wear a more fitted top?

Really like the site you've linked to, the textures are really interesting too.

Thank you.

Hmm ....when you've spent months trying hard.... to lose weight to regain your waist. Do you really want to wear. Clothes to look bigger? And @ANagsHead have you ever been very overweight?

I've lost @15 kg. So not the vast amounts some of you have lost. But what a brilliant idea for a thread!
I've found a couple of Instagram accounts to be super helpful. The first one is Melissa Murrell who also has lots of you tube videos on different body shapes & how to dress them. Also Invest in Style as she has a similar body shape to me & dresses generally in pretty simple clothes.

every single person I’ve seen in real life (as opposed to an Oscars red carpet) who looks stylish is using controlled volume to make their outfit

I think this is true and it's only possible if the person underneath the volume is slim. Otherwise the options for volume and playing with proportions is limited purely due to the size of the body underneath.

I've lost 14kg now on MJ and a ways to go, and I've definitely got style on my mind. I'm finding I'm fitting back into old clothes that I've hung onto for years in the hope of slimming back into them, but that just means I'm dressing in clothes from 2006! Forget about a capsule wardrobe, I feel like more of a time capsule at the moment (and not in a good way).

To use a well worn cliché, keep in mind, it's a journey not a destination. You are likely having all sorts of ideas and feelings about your new shape and until you've wrapped your head around it all you'll likely struggle to settle on a style so don't panic that you're not there yet. It's absolutely fine to cycle through a few different ideas of your new self. Have a period of showing off your body and newfound waist if that brings you joy, it probably won't last that long as a new normal settles in and then there's plenty of time to adhere to 'good taste' ideas of style. The personal aspect of it all will click in last.

This video (I'll link at the end of post) was shared on this board previously and while I don't think it will actually deliver you a personal style, I do think it's a good method to work from when you're clueless and don't know where to start. Although it's about French style, it's easily adaptable, eg. for British style you could switch out Fancy Grandma for that country tweed look, rock chick for punk, etc. It's just a good exercise in mixing and switching up styles to build your own narrative.

WRT quality, it's important to keep in mind it's two fold, partially it's knowing what to look for and partially it's to know how to care for it and those two inform each other. If you're not willing/able to do the care aspect then you're probably better off settling for lesser quality (in terms of longevity of the garment) but that's easier to care for. Also, as per above, it'll likely be a journey, so making a few mistakes here and there are likely, and absolutely fine and to be expected, so it's probably best not to go in with a mindset of buying the absolute best you can afford if it ends up going unworn. If you want to invest in something special now, invest in shoes at this point. Even if clueless about their own style people usually have really strong preferences when it comes to footwear and they'll also help nudge you in a style direction.

To find your style, I would recommend doing a Kibbe quiz online.
It totally changed how I dress/shop and has stopped me from making mistakes/not feeling like my true self.

Another, easier, way is to find a celebrity whose style you like and create a Pinterest board of their outfits. They don’t have to be the same size as you - you can take inspiration from them.

Finding your style is relatively easy - however it does mean that you become very picky and it can make it difficult to shop if you know exactly what you want but can’t find it!

botemp is right about the journey rather than destination thing …

I am in a shop. This almost never happens! Had an appointment in town and am now killing time until lunch - in Zara.

Having shamelessly admitted that people do indeed chase me down the street, or at least sidle up and compliment me on at least some aspecting of my clothing … often - I have to say I’ve never done a Kibbe quiz, or set up a Pinterest board, or ‘had my colours done’. I do have the advantage of being descended from seamstresses … Anyway - I love Zara styling though most of the actual clothes are terrible quality in the women’s section. I am now upstairs in the men’s section and the quality is far, far higher. Much bigger proportion of stuff in natural fibres.

Which underlines a point I wanted to make - do try everything. Men’s clothes are often better than the female equivalent at the same price. And the extra volume …

(I doubt I will find any slim person’s clothing prompts in the JL kitchen department …)

Everyone's contributions here are absolutely brilliant, so many great ideas, resources and thoughts.

I think I've been given more useful advice and guidance on this thread than I've thought about in the past ten years (which is quite sad, I should have thought I was worthy of looking good no matter my size).

I like that everyone's coming at this from a theoretical angle rather than simply 'here's a list of stylish things'. It's helping me really think about which elements matter to me and understanding how to build a look that's relevant to who I am now (@Xiaoxiong your time capsule comment made me laugh, I can definitely relate).

I think it's also worth remembering that this is an emotional journey too, I think there's a lot of long held baggage around weight and clothes to unpack (excuse the pun).

Hi, OP -

Congratulations to you and PPs on your weight loss journeys. This is a great thread.

I think @ANagsHead is on to something with her comment about sometimes using volume on top or bottom. After all, for ages skinny jeans, leggings and trousers were in style and these were often worn with oversized jumpers, tunics and other voluminous tops.

For a while now with high waisted wide legged trousers women frequently wear either a waist length top (not voluminous) or a blouse or shirt that is tucked in or has a French tuck. Same thing with fuller skirts.

More recently with slightly less baggy bottom halves the top half is sometimes a bit roomier again.

Finding your style is def one of the fun aspects of weight loss. Ive lost over 100Ibs and really have found my love of clothes and make up again.
My fat 'uniform' was a pair of baggy black jersey trousers and a huge t shirt....every single day for well over 10 yrs!
Now I wear everything. Wide legged trousers, miniskirts, dresses, jumpsuits, whatever! Lots of colour and pattern as well, Im not a classy beige gal!

My advice would be not to spend alot of money at first. Stick to cheaper brands (esp if you are still losing), charity shops or Vinted. I found Vinted really helpful, not only for trying out lots of things cheaply but also for recommending me things based on my favourites.
oh, and also give yourself a year to work out what you like....you might find what worked for you in winter before doesnt work now.
I used to wear only trousers, didnt even own a dress or skirt. Now Im obsessed with them! Floaty maxi dresses in the summer, cute mini dresses with thick tights in the winter, and yet before this I hadnt owned a dress since I was about seven!😅

I just wanted to remind you that good underwear is important. I've lost 25 kg so far and have to keep buying new bras. Ditch the old ones and get fitted for some new ones. It's amazing how much your boobs change size and shape when you lose weight.

Super job there. I've never really been overweight but I agree with everything you said.
I love black and if it suits you keep wearing it. I also like my clothes monochrome and shy away from bright colours (think I need to change that up a bit tho). Quality is key, however especially for summer clothes you can het away with a few cheaper bits.
I would also get rid of all the fat clothes as you have worked hard at loosing all the weight and do not want to go back there.
Unless you are at target weight now, I wouldn't spend too much on new clothes yet.
If you're a bit lost style wise, there are some good influencers on instagram worth following, especially for a simpler style and mainly High street shops.
And as per PP, I also love a bit of vinted for both buying and selling.
Looks like you have an exciting time ahead.

I’m 71 and obese . Obviously I can’t give fashion advice but just wanted to say that there is nothing wrong with using injections to lose weight .
I am under a consultant at the hospital for type 2diabetes . I had an appointment with him last week and as metformin plus insulin plus semaglutide haven’t really helped my weight loss (a stone in a year ) . He has started me on mounjaro and I took my first dose today .
I’ve been scared of my diabetes getting so bad that I will end up damaging my kidneys , losing my eyesight, or ending up with amputation to my feet/legs.
losing weight and getting my BM under control can avoid all these things .
as well as these benefits it should also lower my BP and stop any damage to my heart . Mountain has been shown to help all our major organs so nobody on this earth can make me feel ashamed to resorting to it . Good luck with your continued weight loss .

Mounjaro not mountain 😀

What a brilliantly timed thread for me. I'm down 5 stone via Mounjaro and more walking with another 25 to go. I've enjoyed clearing everything too big out of my wardrobe. I've kept one dress that I adore and I plan on getting taken in as it was so expensive and then one jacket that is a loose fit and belted so still looks ok but will get rid of it starts looking weird.
I still like most of my old style and have bought more of some of my basics in a smaller size. But there's also a whole world of brands and shops that didn't exist last time I was a size 14! I've very slowly started a Pinterest board of things I like. But my first step is getting my hair. My face shape has changed and so I'm off for a consultation and restyle next week.

I took great joy in binning all of my old knickers this week and buying new ones. Next step is bras. I was a 38 J/JJ before. I am so curious to see what they measure now.

OP, this is the thread I didn't know I needed! I've lost 50lbs, mostly on MJ and goal is in sight. The last time I bought clothes with an eye on style or felt good about myself in clothes was 2016, and I'm finding fashion is SO different now. I'm completely lost. All the rules seem to have changed! Most of the shapes and fabrics I used to wear would now seem outdated, cheap, too young for where I am now or a combination of all.

I've tentatively bought a couple of dresses but I don't think they were great choices, they are not sparking joy haha. Great shout PP who mentioned underwear - new bras are next on my to buy list!

@MountKilimounjaro thanks so much for this thread!

I’m not finished but 80% of the way there. My body shape has both changed dramatically … and stayed the same. I’ve lost fat from everywhere, most dramatically my waist (18cm down). I was bluntly an Apple pear and am now back to my natural pear. As a younger woman I hated it and fought it. Now I’m delighted to be back to it.

I am remembering my struggles in my teens and twenties of finding trousers though. Anything I can get over my hips drowns my waist. I’m now a 10 trending 8 waist and a 12/14 hip.

I have little idea of what looks good other than a small top and a wide leg trouser.
I know I don’t want to look like my mother (however stylishly she dresses) but I do love the same natural fabrics she favours.
I’m only really looking to work out winter right now. Will deal with other seasons as they arise.

I work from home and in winter am usually sporting two jumpers and a shawl for warmth. Have almost no excuse to dress up.

Want to keep things simple, functional and beautiful. Maybe some fun. Definitely no quirk.

I’ll be taking a look at some of the people suggested by PPs.

Thanks all