Style Handbook for the Recently Slim

[MountKilimounjaro]

As a woman in her forties that has recently lost a significant amount of weight I've realised that I suddenly have the choice of where to shop and what to wear. And it's actually quite daunting!

I've spent most of my adult life choosing clothes purely because they're in my size and hide what needs to be hidden. And now that I suddenly have the freedom of choice I realise I don't know what my style is!

I thought it might be nice to start a thread for people in a similar situation and if any of the super stylish people that frequent the Style & Beauty threads want to share their wisdom I'd be eternally grateful.

Does anyone have any good tips on how to find your style? And what does that even mean?? After years of hiding it's all a bit daunting.

I vaguely recall reading an article on choosing three words that sum up your look/how you want to be perceived. Once you have these words the vast majority of the clothes you buy need to fit that brief.

Some things I've discovered so far:

It's still ok to wear black! It can be a choice rather than a way to hide. I find mixing up textures, adding a belt and wearing gold jewellery elevates it into a more considered outfit.

Monochrome looks stylish. You don't have to be matchy matchy but similar tones of the same colour can make an outfit look put together.

Quality matters. But understanding what constitutes good quality seems to be hugely confusing.

Please feel free to share your thoughts, ideas or experiences.

Oh and one final small plea, you'll guess from my user name how I lost weight. It's been a long tough journey, it's not a quick fix. I did contemplate changing my name but I'm hoping others that have been on a similar journey find this thread. Hopefully this can be a safe non judgemental place.

@Divebar2021 I need that app in my life!!

@henlake7 so true. I'm really leaning into not saving things for best. If you have lovely things then use them and relish them on a day to day basis. Let them bring you joy. I've inherited some beautiful things that were never used as they were being saved for a special occasion that never came

I should definitely carry that idea through to clothes as well.

On a separate note, I still struggle to realise that I can browse in a shop and the clothes will actually fit me. It feels so alien and like I'm dreaming.

I feel like I’m dreaming too.

I am sat here in size 12 jeans. They looked so small in the packet. I cannot believe they are on my body.

Size 12 eeek. Well done ladies. I don’t think I’ve ever been a size 12. I’m not thinking about that for myself yet.

@MountKilimounjaro just popping on to say hello as after reading this thread, you all gave me the confidence to have a bra fitting at M&S!

After losing over 4 stone on MJ it was a much needed requirement and I came away with 2 new bras and (drum roll…..) matching lacy knickers (I’ve always bought nix from supermarkets for forever)

I’m absolutely loving clothes shopping now and have a whole new winter wardrobe to wear.

It’s the first time in years that I’m looking forward to going out over Christmas instead of hiding myself away!

Yes to finding bony bits! DH keeps doing it too in bed whilst we're watching tv, just playing with my ribs or hip bone!

I did thw same thing with my chest, thought I had a lump and realised it was my breastbone.

Also ordering clothes I keep thinking 'I'll get a 14 just in case' when I'm sat wearing size 10 trousers.

My head can't catch up with it all.

@Pinkbendyman congratulations! But it's sad to think you thought you weren't worthy of going out and being seen before. Weight loss is definitely raising a lot of complex issues around self worth.

On a lighter note...You've reminded me that I really need to go for a bra fitting too. I'm still wearing my old bras which will not be doing me any favours.

@Kitchenwoe buying a size up is such a hard habit to break. Years of buying the largest size available and hoping it might just fit is hard to let go of.

Apologies, I forget who recommended the Stylebook app. I absolutely love it. Worth the time to get everything set up. I use it to try out a potential new purchase so that I can see if it works well with everything else - it's saved me from buying so many unnecessary things and has helped me really focus on what my wardrobe is missing.

And the packing lists for travel are game changing.

I'm off on a business trip soon and have planned all of my outfits and accessories, and then generated a packing list. I'll be packing so light but have six outfit combinations.

I'm 5 stones down now with 2-3 to go.
I'm busy buying old favourites in smaller sizes on Vinted.
I have Stylebook app but have just switched to Whering.
I've decided moving forwards I want to wear a uniform and have a much smaller wardrobe.
The uniform I'm looking at is trousers/top/jacket based and is working for me.
Yay to new bras- I had an online fitting at Bravissimo which was really good.

I've used the Whering app for the last couple of years & absolutely love it @GrimDamnFanjo. I also have a uniform & I'm currently ebaying all the items I don't wear or are too big for me now.
My current uniform is Sienna miller/ Free People jeans, Cashmere jumper/cardigan plus a Mango Wool Coat. Plus a Cashmere beanie/scarf as needed.
I've bought new clothes as I've lost weight as I felt it was important to feel & look better.

I think it is best to wear colours. I think people stand out more wearing colours that suit them. There are plenty of books on choosing colours for clothes. Black is a bit boring. I often tell people I see who wear a lot of colours how good they look. Wearing black means you never stand out. I was lucky enough to be given a present of a day with a style and image consultant. Then I was able to do a course in it with WEA. Even though it was the year 2000. I still remember tons from it. The tutor used to be a colour me beautiful consultant. We had a day at the shops with her so we could try things on.

I totally get this! I was in the same boat not long ago and it feels so overwhelming at first. For me, starting with things that feel comfortable helped—like figuring out what fabrics I like, and how I feel in them. It’s less about a 'style' and more about what makes you feel good!

I’m tempted in the new year to do the John Lewis personal stylist thing. I’ve not been that interested before simply because I’m pretty uninspired by the current in-store offerings, but if it will shake up my thinking a bit it might be interesting.