Style Handbook for the Recently Slim

[MountKilimounjaro]

As a woman in her forties that has recently lost a significant amount of weight I've realised that I suddenly have the choice of where to shop and what to wear. And it's actually quite daunting!

I've spent most of my adult life choosing clothes purely because they're in my size and hide what needs to be hidden. And now that I suddenly have the freedom of choice I realise I don't know what my style is!

I thought it might be nice to start a thread for people in a similar situation and if any of the super stylish people that frequent the Style & Beauty threads want to share their wisdom I'd be eternally grateful.

Does anyone have any good tips on how to find your style? And what does that even mean?? After years of hiding it's all a bit daunting.

I vaguely recall reading an article on choosing three words that sum up your look/how you want to be perceived. Once you have these words the vast majority of the clothes you buy need to fit that brief.

Some things I've discovered so far:

It's still ok to wear black! It can be a choice rather than a way to hide. I find mixing up textures, adding a belt and wearing gold jewellery elevates it into a more considered outfit.

Monochrome looks stylish. You don't have to be matchy matchy but similar tones of the same colour can make an outfit look put together.

Quality matters. But understanding what constitutes good quality seems to be hugely confusing.

Please feel free to share your thoughts, ideas or experiences.

Oh and one final small plea, you'll guess from my user name how I lost weight. It's been a long tough journey, it's not a quick fix. I did contemplate changing my name but I'm hoping others that have been on a similar journey find this thread. Hopefully this can be a safe non judgemental place.

@MountKilimounjaro

morning - Im glad the Allison Bornstein recommendation was useful. I follow her on Tik Tok
but I’ve just checked You Tube and she has quite a few styling videos on there which might have some gems in. ( I still haven’t settled on my three words because I don’t always feel the same on a day to day basis). I’ve started a savings “pot” on my bank account so when the time comes I can have a little splurge. Only second hand on Vinted in the meantime.

Seriously considered a Christmas jumper this morning. A perfectly socially acceptable oversized look just a couple weeks too early 😂

Well ladies, inspired by you all I have started going through my wardrobes and have taken out anything too big and summer clothes, both of which can be put away just in case I ever need bigger sizes again or we ever get any warm weather.

This has left my wardrobes less cluttered and, hopefully, I can start to dress a bit better for my slimmer size. I did discover that my wardrobes contain clothes ranging from Yours 16s up to supermarket 22-24s so I have a range to pick from! 😊

I see a few familiar names and this is such a good idea.

I have gone down so many bra sizes. 😅

I agree that slips rock. Plus it helps with the cold. Dresses hang better.

I feel I may need to find a slip.

I’m so cold!

At the moment I’m just putting something enormous over the top of the carefully chosen “nice” thing that should be my top layer. So I always look and feel somewhat frumpy.

This morning I’ve ordered (from Vinted) a couple of merino jumpers in size small to use as base layers to put under my “nice” to see if that helps.

I don’t feel I can really start to consider style until I’m not bloody freezing all the time.

I never was a cold person but I’m frequently cold on MJ with very frequent hot flushes! It’s infuriating but manageable

Oh I'm so glad to find this thread! Well done on your losses. I'm 4lbs off a 5 stone loss and have been feeling similarly lost about what to wear now that I don't want or need to hide in baggy black tents.

The biggest thing I did was about 6 months ago I had my colours 'done'. It was genuinely life-changing - I could see what suited me and my analyst had so much really useful advice that I went away feeling really energised and I've been happily sorting out my wardrobe since then. Even my husband has commented on the transformation in my outlook. Some people don't rate having your colours analysed and say that they just know what suits them which is great but for me, feeling a bit lost, it was such a helpful starting point.

I put away almost all of my black clothes (I'm a summer) and have been gradually restocking my wardrobe. I've used Vinted a lot, both to declutter the clothes I've shrunk out of and to buy new things and I swear by having saved searches for brands that I really like and checking those regularly. For example, I've always loved the slightly Boho, arty look from Sahara and I have bought some beautiful new-with-tags pieces for an absolute song. Also, lots of bargain cashmere scarves in my colours over the summer. And jeans, although a gorgeous pair of Hobbs size 18s are getting far too big for me now and I'll be sorry to see them go.

The big thing is that I'm enjoying clothes again. I always used to and now I've rediscovered that interest in style and fashion again. It's like going back to getting dressed instead of just putting on clothes. I've tried out Alison Bornstein's 3 word method ( mine are Casual, Creative, Effortless) and The Curated Closet was a really helpful book.

One of my favourite new clothes experiences came this morning. I booked to go to a new Pilates class and put on my old gym kit only to find that my leggings were a bit loose. And even more loose as the class went on! Came home, made a cuppa and treated myself to some purple Lululemons!

Loving this thread and well done all of us x

I quite like the Kibbe profiles, but don't follow it religiously. Take a look at the types and celebrities and see if you can find the ones you look like. It has been really helpful for me - I could figure out that midi is good, colour matching works but blocking doesn't, and that I need to go more dramatic, big and bold - and why cute and girly looks ridiculous on me. I've been getting tons of compliments, and my wardrobe is way easier to manager.

@VioletsHeart I have resorted to M&S Heatgen thermal stuff. They do high neck, scoop neck or vest style in a range of colours so I use them as base layers but they are plain so can be used as a fine T-shirt if needed

Uniqlo Heat Tech is also good and comes in loads of colours/styles.

... trying them on today and they literally fall down if I take a step.

@MountKilimounjaro This made me smile, I got out of bed the other day, and my pj trousers fell around my ankles! Great thread, BTW.

Really enjoying this thread. Started on 23 rd May and down 4 stone now. I’m on holiday at the moment and for the first time joined in with the aquarobics . I kept up with the young ones and I was easily the oldest in the pool! I too think I will book a session with the personal shopper at John Lewis

It’s fantastic to read about so many having great losses. I somehow can’t quite believe that it’s going to work for me.
i get a bonus from work in March so I’m already planning a shopping weekend including a styling session at John Lewis. I’ll have been on Mounjaro for six months by then so should hopefully be at or close to goal.

Following with interest. I'm 7st down with a couple more to go, and only 4'10" so really struggle with style anyway, never mind getting used to being slimmer.

Cracking thread title BTW @MountKilimounjaro 🪲🧃🤣

I've lost 50lb, down from a 20 to a 16 and have the same again to Lose probably. I've sold my 20 and 18s on VINTED and bought stuff from there. I don't know what size I will stop at, but am currently eyeing up size 14 clothes for the first time since University 30 years ago. I think it's important to buy good stuff on the way down so you enjoy your loss.

Anybody get weirded out by themselves at times?
I mean I expected the loose skin but suddenly I have bones, veins, tendons, etc poking through whereas before everything was soft and squishy!
I often panic at a strange lump before realising its supposed to be there!😂

@Magpie50 yes! Spent ages trying to work out what I was lying on in the bed that was digging into me, realised it was my hip bone. Then the was the time I found a 'lump' on my chest...my breastbone.

@MounjaroMunchie am glad you spotted that! The thread title sounds unhinged otherwise.

Loving seeing so many familiar names here too. Also very much enjoying meeting all the Style & Beauty regulars and picking their brains.

Thanks for the Allison B recommendation @Divebar2021I'm looking forward to getting my hands on the book. The videos have been great at helping me to understand what the elements of outfits are that I like. The ones where she describes celebrity styles has really helped me understand how it works.

For my three words I've settled on chic, minimal and edgy.

By edgy I mean edgy for a middle aged woman eg sunglasses, something structural or a band t-shirt (hardly face tattoo territory).

@QueenOfHiraeth and @Wonkypictureframe good call on using heat tech style tops as layering vests. I'm going to check those out.

On the subject of staying warm does anyone have any good sock recommendations? Desperate to find something super soft and thin but also warm.

... can't believe I've just asked for 'good sock recommendations' what has become of me?!

OP so I haven't lost a lot of weight but on the subject of warmth I can say that Dec through Feb I'm in jeans and jumpers with a long sleeve t-shirt underneath, ordinary thin socks, chunky socks over the top and my winter boots are a size bigger than usual to accommodate them. Being too cold to wear dresses etc in winter is normal. I suspect many of those that do are either not the type to be feeling the cold or are suffering in the name of fashion 😁

I live in the Highlands, and wear alpaca socks all the time.

A great thread, my tips would be to take photos of yourself in outfits you like, understand the structure of how it works then replicate in different colours. I think over 50 means you can create you own style not follow fashion however it's fashion that seems to be in the main shops. Definitely using Vinted and charity shops helps.

Can I make 2 recommendations… if you are a nerdy person like me who likes style stats then the app Stylebook is a really great way to create outfit combinations and record what you wear. It’s easy to then see what you wear or don’t, the most popular brands, colours, fabrics etc in your wardrobes. It’s also really helpful if you’re standing in front of your wardrobes stuck about what to wear to look back at what you’ve worn previously. It’s easier to upload pictures as you go so if you’re starting with a whole new wardrobe of clothes it’s the perfect time. ( there are other apps that do similar things but I’m not familiar with them ). I’ve attached a screen shot from my Stylebook.

The other recommendation is a brand I discovered recently that do quite minimal clothing and homewares. They’re not cheap but I was impressed by the quality - I bought 2 boxy T shirts and some silk trousers and felt very chic in them ( the T’s covered my pooch perfectly ). I’ve never heard them mentioned anywhere…. Rise & Fall. They only go up to a size 16 but they also have nice cashmere bits and homewares if anyone is outside that size. They have a sale at the moment.

https://riseandfall.co/collections/naia/

Rise and Fall has been mentioned a few times on S&B (and on housekeeping threads as they also offer bed linen). Some people are rather put off by their marketing strategy of dissing other brands. It’s great that R&F aim to keep prices honest and as low as possible - but inevitably that comes at the cost of less appealing colours and cuts and … narrative (if one cares about that sort of thing). I recall they used to compare their much cheaper stock to Raey at Matches - when it was clear to anyone familiar with the latter that the Raey products were much, much ‘nicer’ and more desirable.

I’m sure the R&F products are perfectly fine in themselves.

I agree about feeling the cold...currently sitting with my feet on a hot water bottle!
Ive found the key is many thin layers rather then thicker ones, and it doesnt have to be expensive or special thermal gear either. I swear by Primark basics and often layer up with a vest and long sleeved top, then a pair of their fleece tights or fur lined leggings, fuzzy socks then I can wear a 'posher' dress or jumper on top.
Im getting into pinafore dresses this winter as I can sandwich them between a jumper and cardie!!LOL😅

It is fun to find your style as you lose weight but one thing I would say is dress for how you feel not the occasion...
The first time I lost weight in my 30s I bought loads of lovely clothes but because I wasnt going any where exciting I felt like I couldnt wear them and so when the weight came back they ended up at the charity shop with the tags still on.
Now Im over 50 and dont care what people think! Ive found my own style and if I want to wear full make up and a beautiful dress just to do the housework I will. Clothes are there to make you feel happy so you shouldnt leave them in the closet waiting for an occasion that might not come.

Mounjaro cold is something else though! It's a side effect as MJ can affect the functioning of your hypothalamus. It doesn't mean you need different ways of warming yourself - layering is still a great time - but it means that you can feel cold through summer too. I was wrapped in a heated throw in August.