Saw myself on home security cameras- need help with fashion makeover

[FrumpyMcFrumpFace]

We’ve just put some new cameras up that look down our front path and driveway. I was reviewing the clips earlier and saw myself going out . I was dismayed at how frumpy I looked. My mum is staying for a few days, she’s 78, and I actually thought it was her first of all, and had to do a double take.
I’m mid fifties, size 14, 5 ft 6. My whole wardrobe is Seasalt or White Stuff. I’m rurally based and no longer work, so I don’t need work clothes, just a few outfits to go out for a meal etc.

please could I have your suggestions for some fashionable outfits or fashion brands that I might not have come across.
I’m getting my hair restyled this week, so I’m totally up for a rethink.

It would be patently ridiculous to suggest that only posters whose views accord with your own should be allowed space on this board.

And yet, @WhatWillIWear, with respect, I think it was you that told another poster that the styles they'd suggested "have no place on this thread".

I once saw another poster refer to (something along the lines of) an air of sixth-form disdain often popping up in S&B, I wish I could remember the exact phrase.

The distinction is that that was my opinion on a style - not an edict on who is allowed to post. I fully accept that other people will have and express opposite views to mine.

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles you've made my day.
Am super short and frumpy as hell. I was at a conference lately and thought I looked professional in a lovely striped shirt and well cut trousers. A friend took a pic and I was horrified. But on reflection, I always look terrible. It's worse now it no core and with chronic back pain. Both related but not easy to deal with.
I have many blessings in my life but looking good has never been one of them (may be on one or two occasions only)

Same here! It explains a lot about how people have been treating me!

Ring cameras are the devil's spawn only to be matched by M and S changing room mirrors. Don't look 😂

I have had some ok tops off Kaleidoscope. Like a pp said a good coat is great too and Kaleidoscope do different labels like Mango too.
I have to say good posture is a mus. Before COVID I always held my stomach in but now I'm still in a lot of pain and some days struggle to walk so forget about posture. And that is what floored me on the ring I was bent over looking knackered.

Alexander Technique

Alexander Technique is amazing, but expensive and (sorry) boring. My posture has radically improved with a couple of months of Reformer Pilates. Also not cheap, but wonderful exercise for core, posture, strength, balance and within reason, can be done with injuries. I can’t recommend highly enough. Doing both Alexander and Reformer would create a posture miracle!

A cheap option is a ‘neck cloud’ which you can use to put your cervical spine into the other direction to the dowager’s hump. It works well for neck pain and posture and is relaxing. Also lying ‘semi supine’ (Alexander). I have had numerous neck and shoulder problems and it does help.

This resonates with me as it was only when I saw myself on our 2 new security cameras that I realised I’ve turned into a complete frump who needed to lose weight! I also saw that the only things I look ok in are gym gear, so I’ve been wearing more fitted things. Baggy things make me look far bigger than I am.

I would never get my colours done )as recommended upthread), purely because I hate bright colours and would be loathe to start wearing anything other than my beloved black, navy, white or grey.

Well I bloody love Seasalt and Whitestuff and don’t subscribe to them being the antichrist to women in their 50s 😂

Their styles are great for me for all my tricky areas - neckline, upper arms, tummy. Lovely and cool for embarrassing hot sweats; I remember being mortified in the office when those started and I was wearing shirts at the time. Surrounded by glam 30s without a menopausal care. That’s when I felt truly “frumpy”. People compliment me now, particularly when I’m wearing a dress, and it feels good.

I choose “my” colours that work for me. Black, white and beige look terrible on me. I feel great in their midi dresses, jumpsuits and culottes, love a lot of the prints and jersey material is very flattering on my shape. I haven’t worn jeans since menopause. Animal print will forever be Bet Lynch for me, no thanks.

I take care with my hair and make up, shoes and underwear.

My DH is always (brutally) honest if I ask for a second opinion. I was trying something on at home last week and he said it’s not very you, your style is much funkier than that and you always look much younger than you are.

Point of this post is people shouldn’t feel they can’t wear this or that because a bunch of randoms on MN use the “frumpy” word. Wear what feels good and suits you, not what people say you should wear.

As you were 😎

Great points, @ChopSue . I always think it's about finding your style and confidence.
I agree with you that the menopause has a huge impact on what women can wear.

I have a thing about “the emperor’s new clothes” syndrome too. Just because people tell you what you should be wearing, doesn’t mean it’s literally laughable to others.

Bottom line is, wear what feels good on you.

was dismayed at how frumpy I looked.

My whole wardrobe is Seasalt or White Stuff.

i feel like I’ve been wearing the same sort of clothes for a decade.

please could I have your suggestions for some fashionable outfits or fashion brands that I might not have come across.

These are the passages from the OP and subsequent posts by @FrumpyMcFrumpFace that people are presumably responding to. It’s not a thread intended to personally attack people who enjoy wearing the brands she mentioned - it’s a thread to assist someone who wants a change. Of course everyone is free to dress as they choose - that hardly needs stating, surely?

I'm sure you've seen the comments about certain brands and styles? This is just a different point of view.

Quite.

But for some reason it turned into an anti Seasalt thread so I offered my viewpoint for balance. And, I can’t bear fashion snobbery - some people may feel intimidated by those who think Anna Wintour looks good (for instance), whereas I would say that’s hilarious. It’s each to their own.

I bought a round wooden wobble board recently and try to use it every day. I feel it has been really good for my posture.

It doesn't have to be round or wooden though!

@ChopSue , I think on MN, certain brands are derided. M&S and Seasalt are prime examples. I think both brands get slagged off by MNers who never go near their stuff, as if buying a pair of socks from there would contaminate you with the frump.

@captainsudoku , did you gain anything by making that post?

I have ditched all the elasticated black trousers, floral print tops and smock tunics and Joules coat after losing 2+ stone. I looked soooo frumpy and I’m only 42!

I spent weeks following people on Instagram with “mid size” bodies (this is a term like plus size so quite useful for searching). I started to realise what makes me look frumpy and dated.

Instead I’ve purchased some fitted Uniqlo work trousers, silky blouses or shirts in plainer prints, crew neck and cap sleeve plain t shirts (I haven’t work a T-shirt since childhood!) and tuck into midi skirts, wide leg trousers, linen shorts and trousers. Jackets rather than cardis. Adidas trainers, loafers for work. Smarter black bag for work (rather than hiker style rucksack in brighter colour). I’m avoiding floral dresses and anything too fussy as it ages me. I feel great!

These are the women I follow on Instagram- they have mid size figures (a couple are tall like me) and they’re not wearing anything too kooky or very expensive. Just normal high street fashion and they all look great. They are all very different from each other which I like, because I mix and match their style and advice to help me create looks that work for me. They range from 20s to 50s in age.

Mollie Campsie
Inpolife
Emily-Jane Johnson
Hannah Briggs

I suggest trying to find your fashion inspiration gang and follow for ideas. Use Vinted to keep costs down.

Also made me laugh on the Ring doorbell- I always cover it in protest when visiting my parents 😂Absolutely hate that they exist as I don’t want to be filmed without my consent. I’m not sure how they’re legal!

I don't understand your point? OP mentioned her posture and others were making suggestions.

@FrumpyMcFrumpFace It’s difficult to pick clothes for someone else with little information other than their size and height and enviably retired status - but here are a few photos of things I might consider if I needed more ‘off duty’ clothes. Variously from & Other Stories, Cos, American Vintage, Massimo Dutti. High St prices, and of course they all have sales. (I particularly like the Stories crocheted cardigan which would smarten up any casual trousers and vest / t shirt for lunch out.)

@captainsudoku , pp suggested something and you nitpicked at it, presumably to make a point.

@WhatWillIWear , interesting choices. I can't see myself in them, but maybe I should think about them.

@JimNast - no, she actually corrected her OWN point!

I agree 100% about the points made about "posture", and yes, it's that bloody Ring doorbell footage again, making me realise I walk with a middle-aged stoop. I am now googling neck clouds to see if that would help.