Saw myself on home security cameras- need help with fashion makeover

[FrumpyMcFrumpFace]

We’ve just put some new cameras up that look down our front path and driveway. I was reviewing the clips earlier and saw myself going out . I was dismayed at how frumpy I looked. My mum is staying for a few days, she’s 78, and I actually thought it was her first of all, and had to do a double take.
I’m mid fifties, size 14, 5 ft 6. My whole wardrobe is Seasalt or White Stuff. I’m rurally based and no longer work, so I don’t need work clothes, just a few outfits to go out for a meal etc.

please could I have your suggestions for some fashionable outfits or fashion brands that I might not have come across.
I’m getting my hair restyled this week, so I’m totally up for a rethink.

OP Have a look at Nobody's Child and their denim dresses.

Seasalt quaity is fine. It washes well.
It's not particularly frumpy, but it has clothes that is popular as everyday clothing by older women. They look OK but aren't 'fashion' or particularly stylish.

I have cowl neck jumpers. (Sahara, Masai and Uniqlo). If they are frumpy, I don't care. I think they suit me.

Good point, I like a cowl neck too!

I hate looking at me on the Ring. It's awful😆

I can't believe someone has suggested a 'cowl neck'. I'm sure the 'I buy casual trainers from Damart' poster will be along soon with further amazing advice

Just to add to the Seasalt/Fat face chat... I'm very behind in my tv watching and I've only just seen What's wrong with Maggie Cole on Netflix. The two main characters were decked out in what looked to me like Seasalt/Fat Face or perhaps a more expensive version of, and I thought they looked really cute and fun. It was Dawn French and the actor that played Hayley in Corrie. They both looked gorgeous. With the help of TV hair and make up, and stylists of course. 'Hayley' had a fantastic hair cut in particular and Dawn's hair was all shiney and blowed dried. Beautiful! But I would never have described them as frumpy. If it wasn't those shops, someone point in the directions of the actual shops. And the stylists, mua, top hair dressers etc😄

Do you have a link please?

Chiming in to say that I wear a lot of Seasalt (I get it from the EBay outlet) and people often mistake it for Toast - they do lots of stuff that’s not recognisably Seasalt and it’s great quality for the price. So don’t write it off completely if it suits you, but I would advise avoiding jersey, empire waists, obviously Seasalt prints (same with White Stuff and Boden) and anything fussy, quirky or with unnecessary or twee detailing.

I totally agree with PP that posture is key, then a good haircut, decent shoes and bag - by which I mean modern or classic shapes, the style and brand don’t matter in themselves - grooming (nothing drastic unless you want to) and yes, weight. But posture and hair will go a long way, losing weight isn’t the magic bullet necessarily.

@Holdthisgoodweather gave good advice about magazines - it’s a great way to get your eye in for what’s current and you start to feel more confident. I think Woman & Home has some pretty good fashion stuff for the middle aged! I advise thinking about your colours and Kibbe type (look on Pinterest) - for all we know, you could look amazing in a cowl neck or skinny jeans, but so much depends on your body type and vibe - nobody can say without seeing you!

I totally agree with PP that posture is key, then a good haircut, decent shoes and bag - by which I mean modern or classic shapes, the style and brand don’t matter in themselves - grooming (nothing drastic unless you want to) and yes, weight. But posture and hair will go a long way, losing weight isn’t the magic bullet necessarily.
A decent bra is a must.

I think Woman & Home has some pretty good fashion stuff for the middle aged!

Personally I prefer Vogue …

Love that last line!

Be aware that cameras often distort a person, I always aim to improve but its important to have a realistic outlook

How about signing up to a blog like Midlifechic? I find her style just aspirational enough to lift me, she showcases really accessible clothes for price and wearability, and has some great foundation posts for a read through.

This thread has just made me review my Ring doorbell footage.

Haggard is the word that springs to mind

Have a look at Kibbe to find your style. Really helpful.
I avoid all prints (aside from a fantastic zebra print midi dress which I do love)
Prefer a structured blazer instead of a cardi
Block colours are more flattering to elongate.
As a general rule, no bright colour with black (office dated look)
Block heels or trainers or boots
I do love a cowl neck (hah! It’s one of my key shaped tops being a Soft Dramatic) really flattering and if worn with the right thing e.g a leather pencil midi skirt or 70s flare jeans and a blazer they can look good.
I never wear a shirt or blouse - anything buttoned up down the middle makes me look wider for some reason.
Always waist definition.
No high or crew necks. Gives me a double chin. Will only wear a v neck/scoop (keep décolleté smooth with a special neck and chest product) or a low cut cowl.

To those who say a cowl is dated, loads of celebrities wear them off duty.

Lots of gold bracelets/cuffs give a little bit of edge. Nothing sparkly though - more like hammered vintage styles.

My Dsis MIL once gave her a Seasalt top which she hated and passed on to me. She said it's new and the right size and everything but it just looks awful on me maybe it'll look better on you.
Well it certainly did not. This top was literally like the frump maker. Instantly you put it on you looked 20 years older.
It was navy, jersey, empire line with a twee little flower print and I think some pale pink piping and honestly I would defy anyone to wear that top and not look like they escaped from a nursing home.

I have no fashion sense at all and even I wouldn't wear it!

OP clearly isn’t massively into fashion - not everyone will get a lot out of catwalk/Vogue editorial stuff and will get on better looking at things they might actually buy. It’s all about getting your eye in - the best way IS to start with the catwalk stuff and work your way ‘down’, but there’s nothing wrong with a bit of mainstream magazine inspo.

Agree with PPs saying to avoid the empire line and jersey stuff in sea salt, and some of the prints.

They do occasionally have decent stuff if you wade through. I've got a couple of dresses I really love from there, but they were a rarity.

yes. This thread is quite scary. I don’t tend to think too much about what I am wearing, but I am trying to take an interest and have a capsule wardrobe. This is partly because I have a wardrobe full of things I don’t seem to like. but this thread seems to suggest that everything is wrong. I wonder what posters look like in real life.

I wonder what posters look like in real life.

Given there are 30 million odd females in the country surely it hardly matters? You aren’t suggesting that only supermodels should be allowed to express an opinion on getting dressed?

Do you all still think cowl necks are frumpy now? These are the kind I wear in either a silk or a linen.

No, the opposite
they sound like they work for vogue

i thought there’d be more ordinary people on here. I know what board I’m on but I thought there’d be less criticism.

Go and have some trying on sessions in different shops - step away from Seasalt, White Stuff, Joules etc! You do t need to feel pressured to buy straight away, but go and try on things that you usually wouldn’t think of as ‘you’. Take lots of photos in the changing room mirrors and have a good look at them and see what you notice - what shapes and colours are good?

Then get started. I always feel instantly better in a jacket - it makes even the most basic of tops and jeans look like a planned outfit!

shops to try: Cos; & Other Stories; Reiss; Arket; Zara

If you want to look and feel different, you need to do things differently! It’s exciting - just make a start somewhere and work from there! And let us know how you get on xx

Poor you. Horrible feeling. But you're on the case now.

Here's a few tips:

1. Get your colours done or work out for yourself which colours suit you and then stick to a limited palette. You'll likely be different from me but as an idea I largely stick with neutrals:

Black White Navy Denim Pale 'blonde' camel Strong 'ginger' camel Pale dove grey With a few bits of: Powder blue Raspberry pink ^ that's it.

1. You need to understand your body shape so you can pick shapes and fits that suit you. Pear-shaped? Apple-shaped? Inverted triangle? Enlist the help of a friend and do some research online. There's lots of videos on YouTube that will help you narrow down your own body-shape and learn about what will work for you.

1. Make a Pinterest board of looks you like as your story board for style inspiration

1. Work out 'uniforms' for different sorts of days and occasions and plan a capsule wardrobe that supports your lifestyle. No point in having sharp city clothes if you spend your life dog walking - and vice versa. But even for dog walking we can have 'a look' and be 'put together' rather than looking like an unmade bed. It's about being intentional.

Re hair etc - I do think that at our age grooming is really important if you want to look pulled together and to feel your best. Get a great haircut and colour and make regular appointments to maintain it. Get your eyebrows threaded and tinted once a month - brows make a huge difference.

Re make up: again, you want a capsule make up bag. A 'basic face' look takes minutes and makes a world of difference.
Eg:
After your shower in the morning:
Mix moisturiser and spf together and apply
Now apply a bit of foundation (I use 2 pumps BarePro) while your moisturiser is still dewy and wash your hands
Make up:
Taupe eyeliner
Black mascara
Mid-brown brow pencil
Nude lipstick
Use a spot of this nude lipstick on your cheek bones and rub in as a bit of blusher
^ that's it.
Keep a replica make up bag with all the same products in your car for touch ups during the day.

Sending you love and good wishes for your 'Project Me'

i thought there’d be more ordinary people on here. I know what board I’m on but I thought there’d be less criticism.

Have you not been on MN long?

I am genuinely struggling to understand your point of view. What does ‘ordinary people’ mean - given MN is made up of thousands and thousands of individuals? There isn’t a test for suitability; the only filter is access to and ability to use the Internet.

And the whole point of S&B is to discuss. To exchange opinions on everything to do with clothes and grooming and style. That often means offering suggestions to someone who may or may not have asked for them; or bolstering the confidence of someone entering a new situation, or criticising a proposed outfit or random item of clothing on a random website. The beauty of an anonymous forum is that one can be more honest, maybe more blunt than one might be in real life. I’m never going to accost a stranger in a cafe to tell her I find her outfit ill chosen or dowdy. (In truth I rarely notice other people’s clothes in real life unless they are in some way exceptional.) But there’s no general consensus - posters aren’t secretly getting together to offer a group opinion. Each poster speaks from their own experience - which may be very different to the next person’s. It would be patently ridiculous to suggest that only posters whose views accord with your own should be allowed space on this board.