Saw myself on home security cameras- need help with fashion makeover

[FrumpyMcFrumpFace]

We’ve just put some new cameras up that look down our front path and driveway. I was reviewing the clips earlier and saw myself going out . I was dismayed at how frumpy I looked. My mum is staying for a few days, she’s 78, and I actually thought it was her first of all, and had to do a double take.
I’m mid fifties, size 14, 5 ft 6. My whole wardrobe is Seasalt or White Stuff. I’m rurally based and no longer work, so I don’t need work clothes, just a few outfits to go out for a meal etc.

please could I have your suggestions for some fashionable outfits or fashion brands that I might not have come across.
I’m getting my hair restyled this week, so I’m totally up for a rethink.

God! I had the same experience.

I’m early 50s and saw myself shuffling around a room with my head jutting slightly forward suggestive of the widow’s hump my mum developed in old age.

Posture is a huge factor as is weight sadly, speaking as someone who could do to lose two stone. I think it’s very hard to counteract the instant frump extra pounds bestow after 50. I know a lot of people go down the bright colours, bright lipstick and accessories route but that’s never been me at all so I’d feel like a Christmas bauble. Well fitting clothes help but I need to tone up, shift the lard and walk tall.

or cowl neck tops/ jumpers are really flattering

Grief! The OP is already struggling with feeling she looks … that word … And you want to put her in a cowl neck jumper? What’s she ever done to you? Because that’s Olympic level cruelty.

😂

to be honest I’m surprised on a thread where the op is worried about looking frumpy someone fronts up and says get thee a cowl neck and fitflops.

The word "frumpy" is used with abandon on here. What does it mean? Unfashionable, dingy, crumpled?
No point in camisoles and linen shirts if you're not the kind of person to wear one. Think about lifestyle and budget. If you're living rurally and don't go out to work, so think about your lifestyle. Better trousers? Nicer sweaters, trainers, boots? Think about what would pull you together, plus what colours work.

A few things are helping me at the moment:

1. avoid slouchy, unstructured clothes for example asymmetrical hemlines - I try wear more tailored pieces even for casual wear.
2. think about accessories - a belt makes a huge difference with jeans for example, as does the right jewelry or shoes.
3. avoid fussy prints and anything floral/busy (for me anyway) and stick to clothes in block colors that suit your complexion - I use accessories to add interest.
4. get the right underwear - I was still wearing maternity bras which were comfy but made me look about 10kg heavier. As soon as I got the right bras and underwear all my clothes looked better.
5. figure out the best silhouettes for the shape you have now - I was still buying clothes that suited me 15kg and 2DC ago. When I actually started shopping for the size and shape I am (not the one I was/wished for) I looked a lot better.
6. invest in the important bits - I got the best quality handbags, belts, shoes and coats I could afford and they’ve served me well. I always look and feel more pulled together with good quality accessories - bonus is things like shoes, handbags, jewelry etc. usually always fit no matter what weight I am.

Most importantly: know that you probably look worse in your head than you do in real life. Cameras are generally unforgiving in my experience. Best of luck!

A dictionary is a thing, it means drab, old fashioned, dowdy

@Sunnyandsilly
a dictionary is a thing how rude and patronising.
Language is contextual, and meanings vary. I'm trying to get to the heart of the problem. Without being personal, sarcastic or rude 🙄

I really don’t think they are, I’m only in my early thirties too! It’s the way you wear them, and I think cowl necks are really flattering. IMO clothes don’t really date because you can get away with fashion from any time nowadays. I’m suggesting things that I think would be good for OPs figure and easy to wear.

lol I must be the only person who loves a cowl neck 😂 maybe don’t listen to me then haha.

What does it mean?

We all know perfectly well what the word means. (Some of us prefer to avoid terms that place unfair pressure on women to look a certain way and meet patriarchal expectations. But even so, we generally recognise, and don’t want to be seen as, drab and old fashioned and, essentially left behind.)

Yes, I agree with you, although sometimes it's just shorthand for overweight, older or ageing. Sometimes people just mean old fashioned. I'm trying to unpick the style issue. There are slightly different applications. I think there's some good advice on here - security cameras are not the most flattering of devices, however....

They can look great! I have a colleague in her 30s who wears them with baggy trousers. She looks good, but maybe it's how you style them!

Seasalt and White Stuff appear top make it their goal to create frumpy clothes. They are so tantalising and COMFY but honestly, the second I see someone wearing a stretchy wrap dress or some linen moo moo with a 'jazzy' embellishment I just think 'awww mate'. They make people look fatter. And they wash dreadfully and lose their shape even more.

Beat the frumps with:

1 - some comfy shape wear. Doesn't need to feel like scaffolding, just hold you a little smoother.

2 - Buy some classics - good fitting jeans/white shirt/tailored trouser to start.

3 - Loose clothes = more frumpy. You aren't covering anything up, so work with your (likely gorgeous) figure.

Basically everything @Ifyouinsistthen said plus this.

@Butterflysunshine01 the OP has made things easy for posters by asking for a fashion makeover. It’s there in her title.

So by definition cowl neck tops / jumpers have no place on this thread. Whether any individual likes them or not, they are patently unfashionable right now.

I'm older than you but I am often mistaken for being younger.

So, not sure if I can help but...

I think floral or flowery dresses tend to be unflattering on older women unless they are very stylish and 'occasion' dresses.

They are just 'boring'.

I see my Mum's friends in their 80s wearing Seasalt/ White Stuff type of dresses.
The quality is awful with WS, and SS just says 'old' to me.

I think that weight is a factor. We can't see you and a 14 may be slim and curvy, but no waist is ageing. If you need to lose half a stone, do it.

Unless you're carrying rolls of fat on the tummy, wearing dresses that are more fitted often looks better than tent-like shapes. Tent-like just says 'I'm fat and trying to hide it'.

I tend to look at brands that are perhaps meant for younger women but I am careful what I choose. Nothing sleeveless - upper arms are flabby. Nothing with lots of girly frills.

I buy from Nobody's Child (they have a lovely light denim midi dresses).

I like Hush but they are too long.

I buy Boden but almost always plain colours not garish prints. They tend to be shirt-waist midi styles (mid calf for me) with a fitted belted waist and a full-ish skirt.

I've also had some nice stuff from J Lewis and their own brands of Anyday and And/Or.

I used to buy Jigsaw but they are £££. Their outlet or sales are good.

For knitwear I sometimes splash out on The White Company and buy one nice jumper (wait for the sales.)

I've not bought from M&S in years but their dresses seem to have improved this season.

I've recently stopped wearing skinny jeans all the time and got some looser boyfriend style (not crazily baggy) which I've had compliments on from my very stylish daughter in law.

Why not look at the fashion pages in magazines meant for women our age?
Good Housekeeping, Platinum and Woman & Home?
Not saying follow it slavishly but you might get some ideas.

I wonder whether you could look at the cut or fit of your trousers or jeans, OP? What style do you favour at the moment? That's often a quick update.

@Holdthisgoodweather slight cross post on the jeans there, and I agree with you about florals - you have to be careful.
I've bought some things from Nobody's Child and would recommend

Obviously I think everyone should wear whatever they want...that said...this lady is quite good explaining what makes you look frumpy or older:

I’m mid 60s and I think those two brands are frump personified.

What brands do you favour?

trying to build a capsule wardrobe now but not too pricey as I too look like my granny.

@RoundandSad I would recommend Nobody's Child (qv), also French Connection. I've got some nice things from Mango and Massimo Dutti. I am also in my 60s, for reference.
I think sometimes you need to find a bit of time and try lots of things on.

Those brands don’t cater for short and round I find

I don't think it's about brands particularly but materials, shape and cut

Anything 'loose' or 'flowing' or 'flattering' generally says "I've got something to hide"

Waterfall cardigans need to go in the bin

3/4 trousers - especially the loose linen kind - are dreadful

Fitted clothes look good even if you've got a bit of weight to lose, they just need to be the right size.

Block colours are better than patterns

Stripes are better than florals

Hair, shoes, and bags are all good things to spend money on as it doesn't matter what weight you are

Really? I'm 5'2" and found that they're the ones which work best for me. Like I say, lots of trying on.

I'm 60 & love Free People. I've never bought anything from Seasalt. I just can't bear the colours & styles as they're a bit dated to me. I think you can look modern with the right items from the high street but ditsy prints or busy patterns are best avoided with the exception of animal print.
There's an Instagram account I follow who's brilliant at picking out quality high street items for you called 'invest in style'.
Also it's really worth following Melissa Helmsley on You tube. Lots of brilliant videos on how to dress for all ages. I resisted watching her for a long time as I initially found her a bit bossy but she is very good at her job.