Dressing to cover rather than style

[letsgoooo]

I see a lot of older women (I am nearly 60) who dress with the main intention being to cover up bits they don't like rather than to dress in a certain style that they do like.

Sleeves that reach the elbow to cover upper arm flab or loose capri pants that hide legs but are cooler than full length in summer. Waterfall cardigans to cover the bottom. Strange cut outs at the shoulder to show a little skin where they feel their skin isn't looking so aged.

I think this all results in frumpy looking old lady dressing style.

I don't think anyone else is really noticing a bit of a bingo wing or a wrinkly knee and dressing to cover bits of you just results in an overall unstylish look which everyone notices. I feel the discomfort at our aging bodies is leading women feel they need to cover things up even if it leaves them looking like stereotypical old ladies

I think people should wear what they like and what they feel comfortable in. Maybe some people don't feel comfortable wearing certain things? I've massive boobs and hate wearing things that cling to them, so tend to wear looser tops.

The last pics, well I have more outlandish standout outfits but they feel like costumes unless you are at the right occasion. Sometimes you want to fit in a bit and knot be so visible. But always standout enough to look nice. Balancing act that.

Maybe the women you are on about look good in their particular crowd. As you said you think it's a uniform. But perhaps there are subtleties you just don't get unless you amongst that particular peer group....

Reminded me of giving my mother in law a particular brooch which was the envy of all her friends....☺️

Nobody cares though beyond thinking I like/don't like that outfit and if those women are happy with what they're wearing then it's all good.

OP I know what you mean when you give your definition of covered up. This is a good example of a Polish 60 year old woman on Instagram. She dresses in mostly current season Zara as opposed to what is "expected" of a woman her age. You will get the naysayers stating that she is slim and that makes all the difference but I think it is a state of mind rather than a body shape per se.

I follow a number of Instagram accounts of women 50+ and what they all have in common is the ability to style themselves in interesting ways. They style themselves as the people they are rather than what society expects of women their age.

www.instagram.com/reel/C1_ygRmIwkI/?igsh=MXhxb2JrMTloaGdxdA==

Sure, she looks very nice.

But there's still no evidence to support OP's claim that you're backing up. That the women wearing the shorts and tops picked upon by OP are doing it because they feel society thinks they should dress in a certain way or that they think they have to cover less than perfect bits of their bodies.

They style themselves as the people they are rather than what society expects of women their age. could be equally applied to any one of the women in the photos OP posted. Not looking stylish doesn't necessarily equal believing one has to cover up and hide away. It can just mean not giving a shit. Rather suggests caring less about how society perceives them than the opposite.

Tbh the whole crowd of women on holiday the op posted were dressed in similar things. We all dress according to the company we are in. I wouldn't, for instance, wear gym gear to my son's graduation but I would wear it to the gym. I don't wear make up when I'm running but do wear it normally. It's about expectations to a degree. No one expects a runner to be made up - it would look odd. When I visit my son at university and go out I don't dress the same as when I am going to a smart restaurant.

So if everyone about is sporting long shorts and orthopaedic sandals, that becomes the norm, so you get a version you like so you fit but feel good in the crowd you are in. If it is all linens, you get a combo you like, in nice colours etc But this might not look good amongst a different crowd.

Unfortunately people seem to judge groups of a certain age. But there will be trends amongst them like any group. If you are outside the group you probably don't appreciate it.

I'm 65. My clothes bear more resemblance to that than those boring "stylish" pictures you posted. I can relatd to these. I don't relate at all to the examples you thought were stylish.

Oh dear ! I love that style of clothing.

You didn't word it poorly, OP. In current MN style, you've been swamped by faux-naif posters deliberately missing your point so they can "wrong" you 🙄

I'm nearly 70 and have noticed myself doing this, probably in the past three or four years. I managed not to care about arm flab - it wasn't too bad anyway, and my legs were okay - until it started crinkling, along with my thighs & knees. Some vicious inner critic seems to have decreed that I must not inflict my crepiness on an innocent public for some reason?! Like the public bloody cares.

There are always some threads running about hiding one's upper arms or "not having the legs for" a certain outfit. Articles about camouflaging one's wobbly bits are plentiful. It's bonkers. There's nothing wrong with an ageing, disabled, post-partum or otherwise nonconformist body, and nothing wrong with letting it be seen!

Strangely, most people find a confidently carried body attractive, regardless of its perceived faults. And those who would require other people's flaws to be covered are arseholes, so why should we give a shit for their opinions?

I don’t think it’s them (us!!) I think it’s what’s in the mainstream now. I can’t find anything affordable that’s flattering and when I think of what my mum would have had access to in the 90s with a similar body to mine, there’s no comparison. By the way I see my bingo wings!! (Am 44 btw!)

So do I, but I feel it’s become a kind of uniform for those wanting to hide themselves.

Thank you. I'm glad you understand my post.

I agree that it is sad that people feel shame or the need to cover up perfectly benign body parts for no reason other than they are bigger or wobblier or wrinklier than they were.

Arms are just arms. Knees are just knees. They aren't erogenous zones like boobs or genitals. They are perfectly regular parts of our bodies that aren't offensive things.

@IHaveNeverLivedatTheCastle

I'm 65. My clothes bear more resemblance to that than those boring "stylish" pictures you posted. I can relatd to these. I don't relate at all to the examples you thought were stylish.

That's fantastic. I'm glad you rock your own style. But come on. Be honest, you are an outlier.

I don't think the examples are particularly stylish. But that are put together as outfits rather than just to cover things they don't like. If I had posted the flamboyant outfits you know the vast majority of people would say that no one dresses like that. Even if you do.

Your examples didn't prove your point. The "stylish" ones are terrible; especially the awful floaty white top, which if anything does exactly what you're complaining about.

The others look as if they had diligently followed the advice of a particularly unimaginative "stylist" handing out advice of what women over 50 should wear. It"s a dreary uniform.

Your "non sylish" pictures loked better- people wearing clothes suitable for a day"s sight seeing and the woman in the white trousers and scarf is more stylish than the first set. And is less covered up.

There are always some threads running about hiding one's upper arms or "not having the legs for" a certain outfit. Articles about camouflaging one's wobbly bits are plentiful.
Not to mention covering up grey hair.
Or how to get through a beach holiday.
Or wearing shorts at 40.

And like I've said, I always wear sleeves so I'm part of it myself.

But I'm not surprised by all the denials. I don't think it's possible to have a conversation about it here.

I agree that it is sad that people feel shame or the need to cover up perfectly benign body parts for no reason other than they are bigger or wobblier or wrinklier than they were.

@letsgoooo, it's not always necessarily shame about body parts, it can be about not feeling you want to share everything with all and sundry. I am not ashamed of having a mastectomy and I chose to decline the offer of an NHS reconstruction but I wouldn't be rushing to go to a topless beach. I choose the way I present myself to the world.

And I wear makeup because I like it but I am not ashamed to go make up free and do when I am running.

The thing is you don't know the reasons someone may be covering up. It might just be to fit in with the crowd, as I said earlier. I do a bit of that myself too. I think most of us do.

But I'm not surprised by all the denials. I don't think it's possible to have a conversation about it here.

@Floisme, but this thread is a conversation. A proper one which explores boundaries of what has been observed and the reason behind the thinking. Yes, it's not pure validation but that wouldn't be a proper conversation IMO.

And telling people who feel ashamed or self conscious of their bodies just to let it all hang out doesn't exactly work. I still remember the horror of secondary school showers in the 80s!😬

I think a lot of us, regardless of age, tend to dress like our friends. So if your friendship group is wearing capri pants and waterfall cardigans you might follow suit. It needs a lot of confidence, regardless of age, to dress differently to your peers.

I don't understand the conversation @Floisme because you have people saying I wear colours that don't suit me and shapes that aren't designed to show off my best features but criticising others for covering up parts of themselves and wearing things that they deem not stylish. What's the difference between those two groups?

I was commenting on the denial that it even happens, even though this board is rammed with threads about covering up everything from grey hair to flappy arms (the latter being something I do myself).

I just don't see any point in trying to talk about it any more. When I first saw this thread, my first instinct was not to post and I wish now that I'd stuck to that.

(Edited for typo)

There is the argument that dressing to cover what you want to cover IS dressing in your own style that seems to be being missed

My style is not your style
I may think the amount to flesh you have on display is quite revolting

But I try not to stray threads asking why women want to flash so much flesh and isn't if a sign of immaturity or low self esteem

You can dislike any part of your own body for whatever reason you like

There may be a second question as to why so many women seem to be obsessed with hiding bits of their body - a society question - but you shouldn't take away the freedom of each woman to make her own choice s