Dressing to cover rather than style

[letsgoooo]

I see a lot of older women (I am nearly 60) who dress with the main intention being to cover up bits they don't like rather than to dress in a certain style that they do like.

Sleeves that reach the elbow to cover upper arm flab or loose capri pants that hide legs but are cooler than full length in summer. Waterfall cardigans to cover the bottom. Strange cut outs at the shoulder to show a little skin where they feel their skin isn't looking so aged.

I think this all results in frumpy looking old lady dressing style.

I don't think anyone else is really noticing a bit of a bingo wing or a wrinkly knee and dressing to cover bits of you just results in an overall unstylish look which everyone notices. I feel the discomfort at our aging bodies is leading women feel they need to cover things up even if it leaves them looking like stereotypical old ladies

I agree that covering up doesn’t always have the desired effect. If you want to be stylish and impactful then it’s not the way to go at any age. It makes bigger people look bigger.

A lot of people do it to be more invisible. I think that’s fine (good even) if it’s being done as a statement in itself (I don’t owe you pretty and I have better things to worry about) but not if it’s because of societal pressures.

But I think droopy, unstylish clothes are actually worn by all ages, it’s not just an older person thing. Some people are just not interested.

@MissingMoominMamma

Nothing wrong with linen. There's ways to wear it that are extremely stylish and fashionable. It's just a fabric and often a very comfortable one.

As I've said in my OP I'm approaching 60

Because I hear and read women all the time asking for elbow length sleeves to cover 'bingo wings' and how they won't wear shorts anymore as they have wrinkly knees so they wear those attractive on no one loosish capri pants with loose baggy t-shirts with flowers on them.

You are missing my point. It's not about enjoying a style that involves covering up or not covering up. You sound like someone who like wearing a style that involves being covered.
I'm talking about women who as they get older get more and more fixated on covering what they consider flaws due to aging. The whole process of choosing what to wear becomes about what covers the bits they now hate rather than choosing what brings them joy.

Saying it's sad. No one is looking at your arms or judging your knees. Wear what msjes you happy. Not what you feel you have to wear because if your perceived flaws.

When they go about taking about wanting to cover their bingo wings or wrinkled knees or wider bum or all the other things they hate about themselves then I do think it's sad.

Nope. Why would it be. This persons outfit has been chosen out of a desire for style and comfort and elegance. Its but been driven from a place of covering up bits that she hates

Thank you. You understand what my position is. I'm not hating on these women. I am saying I wish women could feel less self conscious, that society as a whole stopped demonising signs of aging.
In fact some societies don't. But in the UK I hear so much self hatred about our changing bodies. At my age I don't really give as much concern to what others think.

If it's hot and I want to wear a t-shirt I'm not going to lament that there is nothing with sleeves 3inches longer to hide my 'hideous and offensive' aging arms. And no that's not what I think of them. But it's what so many women think of themselves and it is sad. We have lived. We have aged. We aren't repellent v

@letsgoooo pleased you think so. I own things like that in my wardrobe. I do dress to cover up my sensitive pale skin so I don't go through so many gallons of suncream. No body shape / tone issues.

So really it's that you don't like the clothes they cover up with...

That Swedish quote is bang on what I'm saying.

This is long and has 3/4 length sleeves

Omg missing my point entirely.
There is nothing wrong with 3/4 sleeves. They can be very nice. That's not the point.
I can't be bothered explaining again. Maybe read my posts.

Thing is I do think more covered is flattering and sensible for my pale sensitive skin. I've thread veins which show on my thighs (pale skin) and can easily catch the sun and go red. I'm in my 50s and have had a mastectomy without reconstruction. So I also don't wear very low cut tops/ swim suits. Covering up again. I don't hate the way I look and very much like clothes. But I do choose what I think I look the best in.

I don't think the issue is covering up per se. It's about wearing unflattering / unfashionable covering up clothes.

Indeed- I wear a lot of linen.

I was trying to describe the fabric used in the garments I was talking about. It’s a sort of linen-look cotton with a bigger weave. It hangs well, so skims bumpy bits, and the clothes tend to be one size, to fit all. They are generally in nice colours too. The other fabric used a lot is jersey.

Because of the skimming fit, it has become a sort of uniform, which has the effect of homogenising an age group, in the same way that ‘uniforms’ of the past have. Remember how most grandmas dressed the same? Well this is the 2020’s version.

There is nothing wrong with the clothes themselves, it’s just that they have become synonymous with a certain age and shape of woman, just as crinoline dresses did in the 70s.

Not crinoline- nylon!! 🤦‍♀️

I dress to feel comfortable. I prefer to have my upper arms covered rather than get sunburnt and I've never liked fitted clothes. I can remember not liking to wear sleeveless things in my teens - I hardly had arm flab then! Nothing to do with not liking my body and wanting to cover certain bits, I just prefer loose and floaty clothing, and have worn natural fabrics for decades. Why should I wear clothes I don't particularly like just to look stylish? I don't think I look very old ladyish either, but if you saw me and thought so - well I couldn't care less. I dress to please me, not anyone else. Just to let you know, I don't wear capri pants or tee shirts with flowers - more likely a denim skirt and a surfing tee!

I made it a rule many years ago only to buy skirts and dresses which sat below the knee.
Midi dresses are idea for me.
It’s not because I hate disfigured legs or sit crying about my legs no. It’s because I find them far more comfortable and practical. I have to look smart and professional at work and I’m not risking showing my arse to anyone thanks.
I also don’t like the trend of wearing a short dress With thick cycling shorts underneath which I see other women do.
Likewise with the neckline in clothing. There isn’t anything wrong with my chest but, I don’t want all and sundry seeing my tits. Hence I check how low cut something is, too low and I won’t buy it.
Quite frankly whilst I’m all for not being ashamed of how you look, I wish more people would cover up. There are things I really don’t want to see.

I think if you'd worded your op differently, you would have found more people agreeing with you.

I really hate how it used to be that clothes we're chosen only to flatter and make someone look slimmer.

That's not what you said though and there are many women who choose to stay covered for reasons other than self loathing.

I hate posts where an op says "what about this dress for me - I'm a 24yo 5'8", size 8 hourglass" and people leap to say "oh but with your figure you must surely want to show it off more than that dress does". So it works both ways.

Also agree with the pp - I don't like the Swedish man quote.

I don't want anyone seeing my underwear, so I like it well covered.

Ok I’ll bite. Am in early sixties and my best feature has always been my body. However, I no longer want to show lots of skin due to age warts and varicose veins. I also have an auto immune disease where I get skin plaques. So while I still have a nice shape, I wear clothes to cover those areas-yes even the dreaded linen wide legs. Never a long cardi though! I still like to look nice but my version of what looks nice has changed-am now aiming for older elegance rather than hot bod.

@heyhohello what youve posted is lovely and stylish but it is fitted- albeit not skin tight but has a defined waist etc. I think the OP means more the giant oversized sack things which are a world away from what you posted.

FWIW my mum is 65 and wears similar to what you’ve posted. She doesn’t want to wear spaghetti strap mini dresses but equally she doesn’t wear giant sack smocks!

Then you aren't doing what I am referring to

I think women buy them because they are natural materials rather than hideous polyester mixes. When you get to a certain age you appreciate cotton/linen.

Their tops always seem wider than they are long.

Yes perhaps I worded it poorly as some of the responses suggest it sounds like I am judging the people choosing to cover up skin which is not what I am saying at all. If people like loose modest clothing and choose that style because they like it then that's not what I am talking about.

I am saying that choosing clothes on the primary basis of hiding parts of the body that they feel shame about is sad and counterproductive. Women should be able to feel comfortable with their bodies throughout all the changes that come with aging.
Choosing what to wear should be a lovely expression of style and a pleasant experience not 'oh gawd how do I cover the bits I hate'

The Swedish man quote I like because what it's saying is by overly focusing on trying to hide things we merely succeed in highlighting them.

So for example by focusing on trying to hide our insecurities by play acting overly assertive we can end up highlighting our actual insecurity because we come across disingenuous.

Or in this case, by focusing on trying to hide bits of the body we don't like, we choose clothes that announce clearly 'I hate my arms/tummy/knees'
No one would even notice them or care if we didn't focus on them.